


What Difference Does it Make?

by acautionarytale



Series: It Makes All The Difference [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Heavy on flashbacks, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-05-27 21:14:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 46,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6300682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acautionarytale/pseuds/acautionarytale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A continuation of A World of Difference. You'll need to read that first for this one to make sense.</p><p>After an extended stay in world 6 years in the future where she found herself basically married to Emma Swan, Regina returns to the world she knows only to find it very much changed by her counterpart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RedDove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedDove/gifts).



> Thank you to the wonderful agathasajax for reading over this and being just wonderful.

The portal took root and wrapped around Regina. She offered Emma a sad look and mouthed “good luck.” As angry and disappointed as she was, she couldn’t help but love this Emma with all of her flaws. Emma swiped the tears from her eyes and wrapped her arm around Henry. 

“Thank you.”

With a flash of light, the spell completed and their Regina stood in front of them looking shocked. To their surprise, Regina was wearing jeans and to Emma’s amusement an old t-shirt of hers.

“Emma? What happened?” she asked confused, until her 13 year old son barreled into her.

“Mom!” he said, wrapping his arms around her. “I’ve missed you so much.” She held him for a long moment before pushing him back to get a good look at him.

“I’ve missed you, too Henry.”

“Even with super rad old Henry? You still missed me?”

“Of course.”

“Isn’t that Emma’s shirt?” Henry asked and Emma stared at the soft blush.

“Regina,” Emma said quietly. Regina looked up from Henry and blinked at Emma. No one said anything as the two stared at each other. It was clear that so much had changed between them. They searched each other’s eyes trying to figure out where they stood with each other. It was clear that this wasn’t the Emma of the other world. Regina straightened her back and pursed her lips making her decision.

“Miss Swan.”

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

“Miss Swan.”

Emma’s heart dropped into her stomach. Regina was back and she hated her. She swallowed the lump in her throat. Miss Swan had to be better than the terse Swan she had be left with.

“Regina,” Emma started again and hesitated.

“Yes?” Regina sniffed, stoking Henry’s head.

“Um, we need to talk.”

“I’m sure, but if it isn’t important, I’d rather it wait. I haven’t seen my son in weeks.” She looked down at his head. “You are so tiny.”

“Mom,” Henry whined. She gave him an indulgent smile. It felt so good to have him in her arms again. Teenager Henry had been such a shock and found great pleasure in their height difference. She squeezed him tighter against her and to her surprise he matched her strength. It made returning to this unhappy time so much more bearable.

“Are you okay?” Henry asked.

Regina swallowed. “Better now.”

Emma cleared her throat. “It is important,” Emma said. Regina looked at the gathering, but they offered her nothing. “I promised the other you that I would talk to you right away.” Regina narrowed her eyes. “In private,” Emma finished. Regina let out a loud sigh and looked at her son reluctantly. 

“I’m staying with you tonight,” he said, grinning. “Mom… er the other one made us dinner so you wouldn’t have to cook or go out if you didn’t want to.”

She smiled softly at her son. “How thoughtful of her.” She turned back to Emma. “Fine,” she said, releasing her son. “Snow, Charming, it’s surprisingly good to see you.” They grinned at her and she smiled at them before marching away from the observers without waiting for Emma. 

She wondered how much they knew about the other world. Their smiles were all so hopeful and she noticed that Robin and Hook weren’t in attendance. Ruby and Tink were off to the side watching and she felt a softer smile tugging at her lips. She didn’t know how she felt about the other Regina mending bridges for her, but right now it felt like a comfort.

When Ruby gave her a little wink, she knew she was keeping at least one of her new friends. The look on Ruby’s face gave her a good idea of how much the girl knew. She gave her a weak smile in return and the girl’s face burst into a wide grin. 

She shook her head, but couldn’t help her smile from turning into something more real. Discovering Ruby Lucas, best friend to Snow White, had befriended the Evil Queen had stunned her, but she quickly began to value the other woman’s counsel.

Once they were out of earshot for of anyone without a wolf’s hearing, she turned on Emma. “What do you know?”

“A lot,” Emma said, trying to convey as much as she could with a look. 

Regina winced. “She told you,” she said, looking up at the sky. She expected as much. She already knew she would have to compete with a version of herself that was self realized, but she had hoped she wouldn’t have to compete with the love the other Regina had for Emma. If it was anything like what the other Emma felt… it would be hard to start fresh.

Emma looked down. “Yesterday.”

“Only yesterday?” she asked, shielding her eyes from the sun.

“She didn’t want to screw things up here. I figured it out and um. forced her into a corner.”

“Of course you did,” Regina said, with a smile that was more fond than she ever remembered giving this Emma Swan.

Emma, of course, missed it. “She was hiding things!” she asserted. too desperate to be in the right for at least a part of this conversation.

Regina rolled her eyes. She hadn’t meant it as an attack, but Emma’s response put her on the defense. “You obviously haven’t learned from your turn at messing up the past. Did you wonder for even a second that she was hiding it for a good reason or is everything I do here still suspect?” Regina asked, cocking her eyebrow at Emma. 

“She wasn’t you,” Emma said as if it excused everything, as she waved her hand around. “She appeared out of nowhere and you were just gone. How could I know I could trust her?”

“I’m surprised you didn’t think it was just a ploy I cocked up.” Emma closed her eyes and looked down. “Ah you did,” Regina said. It hurt. This wasn’t how she planned their reunion. She’d thought she could play coy and maybe a little flirty and yet here they were, fighting again. To be fair, twenty minutes ago she was lazing on a couch reading a book and now… well. This Emma wasn’t the one she wanted and it hurt. “Why can’t you ever leave well enough alone?” she asked, sadly.

“Would you trust an Emma doppelgänger with our son?”

“I did.”

“Different Henry,” Emma snapped back. Regina just sighed again. Emma shook her head. “Look… she just… she looked at me with such…”

“Love,” Regina finished, thinking about the other Emma. She hadn’t been good at hiding it either. Even knowing she wasn’t the right Regina, she had looked at her sometimes in a way that made her want to forget ever going home.

“Yeah,” Emma breathed out.

Regina looked away. “So?” she asked.

“So?”

“What do you want me to say?” Regina asked. She didn’t know what this Emma thought about the whole mess. She looked down. “We aren’t them. Robin never made it out of the Enchanted Forest in that world.” 

“She didn’t like him much,” Emma said, snottily and Regina wondered if it was jealousy.

She gave Emma a thoughtful look. “Really? You… the other you was a little worried. Scared of competition from across worlds.”

“A soulmate is a valid concern,” Emma said, with a shrug.

Regina felt worried for the other Emma for a moment. “They didn’t…?” she asked.

Emma’s face twisted. “Definitely not.” She met Regina’s eyes reluctantly. “She did like him, but more as a sidekick like…” She snorted. “Like Robin. You know Batman and Robin.”

“Hilarious,” Regina replied.

“You admitted Batman was the only good thing about DC. I thought you’d like the reference.”

“I forgot Wonder Woman? I’m ashamed.” They smiled at each other and some of the tension seemed to fall away. Regina took a deep breath. It couldn’t be that easy. “Is this what she wanted you to talk to me about?” she asked, hoping for the best. Maybe the other Regina wanted to play matchmaker. It seemed out of character, but in the moment, she hoped.

Emma looked away, but Regina caught the flash of guilt in Emma’s eyes. “No, it isn’t.” 

Regina felt her face fall. The Emma Swan she had grown close to in the other world had been… everything she hoped for in a partner. They’d been able to sit down and talk, a luxury this world rarely afforded them. She almost told Emma not to tell her, but she trusted…herself. If she thought she should know, than it really was important. More important than Emma knowing they were lovers in another world.

Regina followed Emma’s eyes and to their ragtag family. They had moved closer to Granny’s and were watching them anxiously. Over the last few weeks, it had been hard to refute they were here family. Even at her most belligerent, they had been there for her. 

“Please just get it over with Emma,” she pleaded. She hated how desperate she sounded, but she was back in the world where everything went wrong and she needed the blow to be swift.

“You know, I thought she hated me for awhile or that I was dead or something. She wanted nothing to do with me,” Emma said, her voice breaking slightly at the end.

Regina closed her eyes, bracing for impact. “Smart woman,” she bit out.

“Yeah,” Emma said. “She was… I should just jump to the point.”

“I thought I’d made that clear from the beginning.”

“Rumplestiltskin told her about a wand.” 

Regina nodded, looking at her. “There was a wand in the other world. I tried it, but I wasn’t at the point of origin so it didn’t work. We hoped she would get it from him, but then time passed.”

“He didn’t have it here.” Regina’s brow furrowed and Emma wanted to cry, but she pushed on. She had to. “I had it,” she said, watching as Regina’s face crumbled immediately realizing the implications. “It’s what brought me back to the present when I time traveled with Hook. I took it with me through the portal. That whole thing never happened in the other world so he still had it over there, I guess.” 

“It wasn’t Rumple that kept me there over some deal. It was you,” Regina said, looking down the strangely quiet Main Street. She tilted her head back and looked at the sky. It was worse than she thought. “Do you really hate me that much?” she asked. 

“I don’t hate you,” Emma said, “I was afraid.”

“Who would have thought the legendary Snow White and Prince Charming would produce such a coward,” Regina said.

“Regina, I wasn’t…”

“How long did you know about the wand? How long did you keep me from my son?” she demanded, stepping into Emma’s space.

Emma wilted under the glare. “You had the other Henry,” she offered. “You had a me that loved you.”

“How long, Emma?”

“A few weeks. Pretty much since she found about the wand. She asked the whole town about it,” Emma mumbled. Her body was positioned away from looking at her family. Clearly, they hadn’t been a part of the deception.

Regina felt nauseated. In the other world, she had found herself thinking about starting a future with Emma while Emma had been actively keeping her away. 

“I’m sorry,” Emma said softly. Her head was bowed and she looked like she meant it. 

Her nausea retreated and anger filled her veins and burned through her. She grit her teeth and blinked. “You’re sorry?” She snorted in disgust. “Did you want to keep her or just keep me away? Did you think she would love you like she loved the other Emma?” she asked, as she pushed up close to Emma. “You are nothing like her. She never would have done something like this.” Regina looked at their anxious family for a moment before meeting sad green eyes. The tension in Henry’s shoulders had her relaxing and stepping back. “I understood how I could fall in love with a woman like her. You,” she spat out, “She never would have loved you.”

“I never meant for it to go so far,” Emma pleaded. “I was going to hand it over to her, but then…”

“Shut up, Swan. The more you talk the more disgusted I get. I… I’m going home with,” she paused and tilted her head and bit out, “our son.” Her eyes found him down the street. He looked so small next to Snow. Somehow she had grown used to him towering over her in the few weeks away. “Henry can contact you about his living arrangements.”

“We can stick to what we had if that’s okay with you.” Emma said, her head still hung low. It eerily reminded her of the times she let the guillotine fall. She hated it.

“If you remember correctly, I went on a little vacation and I have no idea what was decided in this world.”

“Oh, yeah,” Emma said scuffing her shoe against the pavement. “Well, we…”

“I’ll have Henry explain it to me and let you know if I have any complaints,” Regina interrupted.

“Did you share custody with Neal?” Emma asked as Regina moved to leave.

The thought of Neal made her exceptionally sad for a moment and she stopped. Abstractly, she had always known that Neal was dead. She watched as his casket was lowered into the ground. Well, she watched Henry as his casket was lowered. She knew now that Neal wouldn’t have expected anything less of her, but now she wished she’d be able to mourn the man as well.

Neal never treated her with kid gloves. He went at her full force from the beginning. He made her laugh. He sang along to Hamilton. He distracted her. 

There was no need to make time for Neal in their arrangements any more and it overshadowed her anger for a moment. She could still hear his voice. It hurt. She didn’t even get to say goodbye to him before she had been whisked away and now he was gone forever. Dead. Because of her sister.

She swallowed and looked at Henry. “He should have known him. He was a good man.”

“You should have trusted my judgement after the Blue Fairy like the other Regina,” Emma said.

Regina’s eyebrows lifted. “You have no idea what you are talking about.” They had analyzed Pan’s plan to death in the other world when they figured out where their timeline diverged. It seemed they hadn’t done the same here.

“Enlighten me then,” Emma said, “because all I got was that life could have been a hell of a lot better if you hadn't been so focused on being Henry’s favorite parent after Neverland.”

Regina scoffed and rolled her eyes. “I’m always to blame even when I’m not.” 

“Who else can we blame for Pan?” Emma asked.

“I blamed you.” Regina looked away.

“What? What did I do? You let him get the scroll. If you just listened to me when I told you something was wrong…”

“Did you ever think that maybe you did something different there to get me to listen?” Regina shifted, crossing her arms over her stomach. “She appealed to me… her as a co-parent. She didn’t forget working together in Neverland. She actually respected that I had been his parent for ten years.” Regina shook her head. “Even if it had been a manipulation on her part at the time which it wasn’t… if you actually trusted me, I’m sure our world would look a lot more like theirs,” Regina said, meeting Emma’s eyes for a moment before looking away. “I felt threatened,” she said quietly.

Emma watched her, seeing some of the other Regina in the soft admission.“She just said she trusted me,” Emma mumbled. 

“You gave her good reason to trust you,” Regina said. “You didn’t give me one. After all we’d been through together in Neverland, it suddenly felt like a waste because you were back to thinking that you knew best for Henry and that I knew nothing. She probably assumed I was just stubborn and refused to listen to your heartfelt plea. It wouldn’t have been entirely out of character, I suppose.” 

“This was my fault?” Emma asked in disbelief.

“Well, that is where the time line diverged.”

“Neal would be alive.”

“We don’t know that,” Regina said. “That place is… You chose differently there, but who is to say I would have listened here. We aren’t the same. Just because we know what could have possibly been doesn’t mean it would have actually turned out that way here.”

“I guess,” Emma said, frowning. “It must have been amazing over there though.”

Regina’s eyebrow lifted. “It was more peaceful.”

“Some peace would be nice. New York had been peaceful,” Emma said.

“And Henry lost that, too. Did you know he told me that it was lonely there and that he wanted a family.”

“He did?”

“Yes. I told him someday he would have more family than he knew what to do with ”

“I thought he was happy,” Emma said.

“He still knew deep down what he lost.” Regina looked over to Henry. “Does he know that Neal lived?”

“Yeah. She talked to him about it.” 

“That helps, I suppose. I don’t know what I’ll say to him.”

“We can figure it out.”

“We?” Regina said, tilting her head to look at her. 

“I know I messed up, but you’re back now. I gave her the wand. Can’t we get dinner or something? Granny’s?” Emma asked, hopefully. “We were starting to become friends before all this, weren't we?”

“Friends,” Regina sneered. “If this is how you treat your friends, I want no part of it. I am keeping my calm right now for Henry’s sake, but right now I am utterly repulsed by you. If I had to sit across from you and play happy family I don’t think I would be able to stop myself from…” She clenched her fists against her sides. 

“Just give me space.” She shook her head and gave Emma one last sparing glance before pasting on a smile and returning to Henry and their happy family.


	2. Chapter 2

Walking into the big empty mansion had felt like the first time she appeared in her house in the other world. The shock faded a lot quicker tonight than it had that night. Having Henry by her side had helped. and that she was home again, it distracted her from her pain.

She hadn’t anticipated Henry wanting to be at home with her and it filled her heart with warmth. She had gotten used to him being around all the time and being without him had been her biggest fear upon her eventual return. She didn’t want to go back to living alone. She had nearly cried when he told her he was coming home. 

They had spent dinner talking about everything and anything. He told her all about the game she had gotten him before she left. He didn’t hide his affection for her at all and was constantly reaching to touch her like he couldn’t believe she was home and with him. It reminded her of the days before he knew about the adoption and before he grew to see her as evil. It went a long way towards healing the damage between them. 

Now he was upstairs asleep in his own bed for the first time in well over a year. Well, the first time she had been home. The quiet of her old life surrounded her. She had already checked on him three times just to assure herself he was still there. She didn’t remember feeling so alone before while Henry had been with her. Back then her vengeance had kept her warm at night.

She swirled the whiskey in her glass absently. The house felt so much emptier now. It lacked the same buzz she had grown used to that signified Emma was there. The walls looked so bare compared to the other version. She had hoped to fill them with similar ones of her own, but now… she didn’t know.

Emma had no idea what it had been like over there. What it could be like here. She had dreamed up such an amazing place full of happy endings and love that she had been willing to try and steal it for herself. It disgusted her knowing she had done the same and worse to so many. So many happy endings were ruined during her reign of terror. she couldn’t even remember the exact number. 

She hadn’t lied when she said Emma repulsed her. It horrified her to see someone she had come to admire sink so very low. Maybe she had envisioned Regina wanting to stay and that was how she justified keeping her there without a choice. It didn’t make it right especially since she couldn’t imagine her counterpart wanting to stay her in this world without happy endings.

It was hard now to reconcile the two Emma’s. She couldn’t imagine that one ever even thinking about doing such a thing, but then that Emma already had her happy ending. This Emma was so full of fear. She saw it in her eyes when she confessed her sins. She missed the easy joy of the other Emma. The one that knew what it was to have her happiness secure. The one knew her inside and out. She had fallen a little in love. 

The last time she had seen her Emma, she had been broken hearted and hurt. Emma couldn’t have imagined she would actually heal from all that so fast. She had held a grudge against Snow for decades. Who would have thought some R&R with a loving and supportive family would have been enough to bring her back from the brink?

It scared her to imagine what it would have been like if she had stayed. What path would she have taken if she had been forced to watch her soulmate walking around with the love of his life? Even now she couldn’t predict how it would feel to see them together.

She wished she could go back to the simplicity of the other world.

In that other world, her dreams of a simple happy life actually felt possible, but Regina had only wanted to come home to this dreary world. Seeing the world the other Regina built for herself had made her want the same for herself. She could never just take it. Not anymore. She had stolen too many happy endings to ever want to again. 

Robin’s love had brought her hope that she could finally move beyond the evil things she had done and actually be a hero. When Emma had brought back Marian, that hope had all but evaporated. She couldn’t imagine better than a soulmate and it felt like she would be forever punished for her villainous ways. Redemption felt like an endless road with nothing but endless suffering waiting for her. The other world showed her it could be different. She still had her family.

Never in her wildest dreams did she expect to return home and find Emma willing to pursue a relationship of any kind. She had anticipated wooing and meticulously exposing the wretched pirate for the scum he was. She laughed to herself. All that planning for nothing. The pirate was already out of the way and she didn’t even have to woo. 

She should have known things wouldn’t go according to her plans. They so rarely did. She tossed back the rest of her drink and eyed the bottle on the table. She had finished a similar bottle with Emma shortly after her arrival. It hadn’t taken long before she proceeded to spill her guts to the woman. 

Usually she would have kept the bottle where it belonged in the cabinet, only fetching it for a rare refill, but tonight when she had filled her glass the first time, she knew there were many refills in her future so the bottle had come with her. With Henry upstairs, she couldn’t drink to the extent she wished. Blackout drunk seemed like a preferable place at the moment.

She poured herself another glass and let the liquor warm her as she gazed into the fireplace. After a few moments, she picked up the letter she had found from her other self again. She had found it sitting on her pillow. It had felt strange to read a letter from herself, almost like time travel even though they were, in reality, different people. She had read it at least five times now. It suggested forgiveness and understanding. The irony didn’t escape her. 

She realized at some point she had placed Emma on the same Savior pedestal everyone else had. In the other world, it had been easier than she expected to forgive Emma. She trusted Emma had just wanted to do the right thing and save a woman and that world had showed her she didn’t need Robin to be happy. 

This was different. This was knowingly choosing to do the wrong and selfish thing and it was hard for her to reconcile that with her image of Emma, the Savior. She felt betrayed. She hadn’t felt that way over Marian.

She had unknowingly begun to trust Emma as her moral compass, but now Emma had proven to be a human just like everyone else. She made mistakes. She hurt people with her decisions. She looked down at her drink. She didn’t know how to move forward from here and wished she had the other Emma to talk to about it all. 

She had been so helpful over the last few weeks. She knew nearly everything about her minus the missing year and understood her needs in a seemingly inherent way. It had been a godsend even if she hadn’t necessary thought so at first.

She knew in her heart she wanted nothing more than to forgive Emma and move on from this mess. She understood better than anyone what had driven her to make the choice she did, but it didn’t make it any easier to put it aside. While she had been willing to take a chance on Emma, Emma hadn’t been willing to take a chance on her. She had actively chosen not to and it hurt so much more than she would have expected. Emma had been the first person to trust her in years. They had stood side by side in battle and as parents and yet Emma hadn’t wanted her back.

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

A DIFFERENT WORLD…

“Miss Swan.”

The light from the fire bathed the strange gathering in a soft glow. Everyone stared at her in shock. She didn’t recognize the girls standing with Emma, but the terror on their faces made her believe this was somehow their fault. She was surprised to see they weren’t fleeing her wrath and Emma actually approaching. She felt an itch in her fingers to produce a fireball to send on them running.

“Anyone care to explain why I’m suddenly out in the woods with a bunch of,” she said, looking down at the gathered supplies, “adolescent witches and you.” The way she sneered as she indicated Emma stopped the blonde’s approach. She held up her hands in placating gesture and Regina could feel her studying her.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Emma asked, reaching out to touch her arm, but stopping just before she touched her. Regina stared at the extended hand until it fell back to Emma’s side.

“For Christ’s sake. Another memory spell?”

Emma shrugged helplessly. Regina wondered for a moment if she had done it to herself, but she was certain if she had she would have erased the last few moments of her life from her memory.

“I was walking home from Granny’s after your time travel adventure brought back Marian, Robin’s wife.”

“Robin? As in Robin Hood?” Emma asked, incredulously. 

“Is there another Robin in Storybrooke I don’t know about?” Regina snapped. 

“There is no Robin at all in Storybrooke, Regina. There never has been,” Emma said, carefully. “And I’ve never time traveled. Isn’t that against the laws of magic?”

“So it was believed until you,” Regina said, studying the woman in front of her. She looked different than she had a few hours ago. Her hair was a little shorter and curled. “What the hell is going on here?”

“I don’t know,” Emma said, turning toward the teenagers. “But trust me I’ll find out.” They cowered under the fierce gaze directed at them by the blonde sheriff. Regina looked passed Emma at the girls. She knew everyone in Storybooke, but she didn’t know them. They looked vaguely familiar in the way August Booth had when he arrived in Storybrooke.

“We’ll go to the station and talk this out,” Emma said, pulling out her phone and made a call for what sounded like assistance with transporting everyone. She didn’t take her eyes off her as she spoke. It unnerved her.

“We’ll need to gather their supplies.”

“I knew that,” Emma scoffed. 

She studied the ingredients carefully before looking at the girls dispassionately. “This wasn’t a memory spell.”

“I know,” Emma said. “You look different.” She gestured at her hair. “You had this grey streak in your hair.” Regina ran her hand through her hair and followed as Emma led them toward the path back to her cruiser.

“What did they do to me?”

“We’ll figure it out.”

“I want to see Henry.”

“How old was he when I went on my time travel adventure?”

Regina looked over at her. “He’s twelve.” 

Emma stopped dead. “Twelve.”

“I take it he’s not twelve anymore.”

“Yeah no. Still want to see him?”

“I always want to see my son, Miss Swan,” Regina snapped. Emma looked confused by her aggression, but turned and continued to the car. “How old is he?” she asked in a softer voice. A raised root caught the heel of her shoe and Emma grabbed her before the stumble turned into a fall. Regina pulled out of her grasp roughly, but her heel sunk into the mud as she pulled back and Emma grabbed her again. This time she fell forward into her arms. 

“Save it for the bedroom,” said a man standing at the end of the path with a flashlight. They pulled apart quickly. She recognized him. He used to be a Sheriff in the Enchanted Forest.

“Shut it, Bast,” Emma said as she marched past him. He shrugged at Regina who just looked bewildered. “There’s a fire back there for you to put out,” she shouted over her shoulder. 

“Goody,” he said, winking at Regina. “Are you okay?” he asked, as he got closer to the former queen. “New hair?” he asked squinting in the dim light of his flashlight. Her glare made him falter. 

“Did I not tell you to shut it?” Emma shouted from her cruiser. “Get over here. Now.” He shot Regina a confused look that he seemed to expect her to understand. 

“I thought you wanted me to put out the fire,” he shouted back.

“Now,” Emma snapped. 

He looked at Regina before he ran over to Emma. Emma’s voice dropped low and she couldn’t hear what she told the man. His head turned in her direction, but she couldn’t make out his expression in the dim light. 

As she got closer to them, they immediately shut down. The man, she guessed was Emma’s new deputy, smiled at her much more awkwardly than before. “I want to see Henry,” she demanded. Emma waved Bast off to take care of the fire. 

“Regina.”

“I want to see him.”

“Regina.”

“I need to see someone I trust and I need to right now. I’ve had enough of you placating me.”

“The last time you saw him he was twelve!” Emma shouted. She immediately deflated and she leaned on the cruiser. Regina could see curious faces peering through the window at them. “He’s fucking shaving now, Regina,” Emma said, quietly.

Regina sucked in a deep breath. “I can’t really help that. I still want to see him.”

“You will.”

“Now.”

“Regina. It’s late.”

“I need my son and I won’t let you keep him from me.”

“I’m not even sure he is your son.”

“What?”

“I don’t know who you are. You are talking about Robin Hood and acting like it’s six years ago. You aren’t… my Regina.”

“Your Regina?” she asked.

They heard the deputy coming down the hill and Emma stopped what she was about to say. She turned to the man. “Get your two to the station and start contacting their parents. We’ll be there in a minute.”

Emma took a deep breath and let it out. “Look. I just need you to trust me. For at least a little while,” she said to Regina. “I’m going to call my dad and get Henry. Okay? Just don’t poof anywhere on me. Please.” She pulled her cell phone out of her back pocket and opened the contact to show Regina.

“Fine,” she snapped. She was tempted, but it made sense to see what she could learn from Emma before she went exploring on her own.

“Hey dad. I know it’s late. Regina and I were called to a magical disturbance.” She stopped as her father talked. “We’re fine. Well, mostly. A spell went wrong.” Regina heard loud voices on the other line. “She’s okay. I promise. Look I need you to wake Henry and bring him to the station. Hopefully by the time you get there we’ll have things resolved.” Emma grimaced. “Please don’t bring Mom. I know she cares, but we don’t need Daniel at the station with all the chaos.”

“Daniel,” she murmured curiously. 

Emma glanced over at her with a frown. “I have to go. Just get Henry to the station. Please.” She rubbed her temple as she ended the call. 

“Regina, I know this a lot to take in, but please I need you to trust me.”

“Daniel?”

“You decided to get heroic and saved my mother when she was giving birth. You approved of the name.”

“I approved?”

“Better than Reginald,” Emma said, with a shrug. Regina shook her head as she rolled her eyes. 

“His name is Neal in my world,” she offered.

Emma snorted. “That dumbass saved my mom instead of you?”

Regina tilted her head. “He died.”

“What?” Emma asked, grabbing her arm. “How?

“He’s alive?” she asked, looking at the white knuckles on her arm.

“Yes. How? How did he die?”

“My sister,” Regina said, remembering the devastated look on Henry’s face as he stood over the grave.

“You have a sister.”

“Had,” Regina said, pulling her arm free. “I need to see my son.” She walked around to the passenger side of the cruiser. “Now.”

 

SQSQSQSQSQSQ

 

Emma pulled into the brightly lit station parking lot and unloaded the girls. The ride had been tense and silent as they both worked on processing what they now knew. As they drove, Regina took in all the changes to her town with a shrewd eye. This was all either an elaborate hallucination or she had some how been transported to another world. 

The station itself looked like it had undergone serious renovations. She wondered what villain had prompted the remodel. Her eyes took in the well used Deputy desks with interest. 

Sebastian greeted them from the hall door. “Their parents are on the way. I put the girls in the interrogation room.”

“Thanks Bast. Can you take these two?” He nodded and lead them away. 

“It’s nice to see you taking the job so seriously for once,” Regina muttered. Emma rolled her eyes and grabbed her arm. “Come on. You can wait in my office for Henry while I figure this out.”

“You? If this is magic-related, I think I’m better suited to ask the questions.”

“On any other day, I would agree with you, but I don’t know you. You aren’t my Regina”

“In what would am I yours?”

“This one. Now get in my office or so help me,” Emma growled as she marched to her office. Regina rolled her eyes, but followed her. “Now sit quietly for Henry,” Emma said, before slamming the door shut behind her. 

Regina eyed the office carefully. It was cleaner than it ever been since Emma took over as Sheriff. There was a small measure of disorder on the desk, but it still gave the impression that it was an ordered chaos. She moving around the desk and settled into Emma’s chair. The computer was a newer model and was surrounded by picture frames. 

Her curiosity had her leaning forward, hoping to get a glimpse of this older Henry. Her hand bumped the mouse and woke the screen. She would have to talk to Emma about her security measures. The background picture had been set up with a picture of the three of them. They were kissing an older Henry’s cheeks as he acted disgusted. Her eyes flitted to the pictures on the desk. They were filled with Henry and to her surprise, her own face. One picture stuck out the most and she grabbed it. Her knuckles turned white around the frame. 

Her Regina. Well.

The picture was simple, just the two of them. No Henry. Their faces were turned toward each other and they were clearly laughing about something, their faces close. Her smile looked genuine. It looked like love. She slammed it against the desk and the glass shattered.

She stood abruptly, taking the photo with her. She needed answers. Sebastian tried to stop her as she marched toward the interrogation room. Through the glass, she could Emma standing there silently watching the girls. The sight of Emma standing there doing absolutely nothing, distracted her from the photo clutched in her hand.

She shoved the door open and it hit the wall with a loud boom. The girls jumped in their seats. 

“Why aren’t you questioning them?” she demanded.

“There parents aren’t here and they are minors.”

“Like that’s stopped you before.” Regina glared at her before turning to the girls quaking in their seats.

“Regina. Let’s go outside and talk,” she said, moving to take her arm, but Regina shrugged her off.

“Keep your hands off of me.” 

The girls looked even more panicked at her reaction. One of them started sobbing. “We didn’t mean to hurt the Mayor.”

“I know you didn’t,” Emma said, avoiding Regina’s eyes and focusing on the girls, “but magic always has a price and now we have to pay it.”

“You shouldn’t be the one paying for our mistake.”

Regina looked down at the photo in her hand. “Swan. Hallway. Now.”

“Your parents will be here soon. Just give me a minute,” Emma said to the girls before turning to Regina and following her into the hallway. Emma nodded at Sebastian and he took her place in the interrogation room. “I thought you wanted to wait for Henry.”

“What is this?” she asked, shoving the picture in Emma’s face. 

Emma took the picture from her and looked it over sadly. “You broke it.”

Before Regina could demand an answer from Emma, someone called her name. The voice was familiar yet not. She turned slowly. If she’d been still holding the picture, she would have dropped it. Her son rushed over and hugged her. Her face pressed against his chest and her nose filled with cologne. He pulled back. “Are you okay? Gramps said something happened to you.” 

She reached up and touched the stubble on his chin. He looked at her over in concern. “Mom?” He reached for her hair. “What happened to your hair?” 

Regina backed away from her son. He towered over her. “I need to go home. I’m sorry, Henry.”

“Wait! What happened?” Henry called as she flipped her arms up and began the teleportation spell.

“It’s not going to be what you expect,” Emma shouted into the cloud of purple smoke. “Shit.”

“What just happened?” Henry asked. “I’d have said memory spell, but…” he waved his hand at his hair.    
“Yeah, I know. Where’s your grandpa?”

“Some people showed up and he stopped to talk to them. What is wrong with mom?”

“I don’t know.”

“I need to go home.”

“No. You need to stay here until we figure out what’s going on. It might not be safe.”

“You know I’m well past the point where I let people tell me if its safe to be around my mom or not.”

“Trust me Henry. I know how you feel, but this is different. I don’t think that is your mom.”

Henry raised his eyebrow. “Is that why she was looking at me so strangely?”

“Yeah. I know I’m going to sound crazy, but I think she’s from a parallel world.”

He shrugged. “That doesn’t sound that crazy. We’ve dealt with crazier. Peter Pan being my great grandfather for one.”

“Fair enough.”

A thoughtful look came over him. “She hates you again, doesn't she?” He frowned. “And she just went home to our house. Our house full of pictures of the two of you.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“She’s probably freaked the fuck out.”

“Henry!”

“Could you describe it any better?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “I need to see her.”

“Henry, if she’s scared she could hurt you.”

“Mom would never hurt me. In any world,” he said, firmly.

“I guess.”

He pulled out his phone and hit her contact. It went straight to voicemail. “I’m going to call the house. What if she has her phone from the other world?”

“Do you really think she’s going to answer the house phone?”

“Habit?”

It rang and rang, but finally he heard the phone picked up. She didn’t say anything, but he could hear her breathing. “Mom.”

“Henry?”

“It’s me. You okay?” he asked, sympathetically, “Okay, probably not.” She just sighed into the phone. “Can I come home? Maybe I can help.”

After a long silence, he heard her say, “Yes.”

“I’ll be there in ten,” he said, looking toward his blonde mother. She nodded at him. “Have you made it past the first floor?” 

She let out a breath into the phone. “No.”

“That’s okay. I’ll be home soon and we can talk.”

“Okay. Just… don’t bring Miss Swan.”

“Okay. She’s going to be pretty busy here any way. Some people just showed up.”

“Okay.”

“I love you,” he said, firmly.

“I love you, too.”

They said their goodbyes and as Henry disconnected the call, he looked over at Emma. Her lips were pursed together and he knew she had figured out what his mom had requested. 

“She doesn’t want to see me.”

“I’ll talk to her. In her world, you two could have been on the outs still.” She nodded, but didn’t look any happier. He pulled her into a hug that she sank into. “You’ll figure it out. You always do.”

“Yeah, but usually she’s with me.”

“She’s still here.”

“Not really.” 


	3. Chapter 3

She had just finished her third glass when she heard a noise outside the house. She walked over to the window and peered out, assuming it was Emma, but instead found Ruby Lucas nervously pacing on her front walkway. She waited a good fifteen minutes for the werewolf to get up the courage to knock before she finally swung the door open. For someone with exceptional hearing, Regina still managed to startle her.

“What do you want puppy?” Regina asked, crossing her arms over her chest and studying the young woman in front of her. Yet another example of how this world was different. Ruby still looked incomplete. Still searching for her lemurs. It wasn’t the way that she dressed that gave her away. It was her bearing and the look in her eyes.

With Storybrooke in a time of peace, she had been able to settle and mature in a way that she hadn’t been allowed to in this time line. How do you get used to running a business when one moment you are in the medieval world of the Enchanted Forest and the next the World without Magic? It’s not like the Enchanted Forest had Quickbooks.

Ruby smiled and shifted awkwardly. It almost felt nostalgic seeing her this way. “Hey.” Regina raised an eyebrow and Ruby held her hands up in front of her. “I thought you could use a friend.”

“A friend?”

“Yeah. She, uh, told me we are friends.”

“So you just believed her?”

Ruby shrugged. “She made a convincing case and she cooked me dinner.”

Regina rolled her eyes. “That world was different. I refuse to let it dictate my life here.”

“That’s understandable, but accepting my offer of friendship wouldn’t be doing that. You didn’t come to me because you found out we were friends on the other side. I came to you.”

“Why would you want to be my friend after all the pain I caused you?”

“I like you.” Ruby shrugged. “Turns out you make a pretty good friend.”

“I’m not that woman, Miss Lucas.”

“I know that. You need me more than she did.” Ruby said as Regina glared. “Snow has forgiven you. Why shouldn’t I?”

“She’s only forgiven me out of necessity.”

“You know her better than that.”

“I suppose.”

“So are you going to invite me in?” Ruby asked, leaning forward hopefully.

“I don’t know. You seem to have been enjoying my walk way.”

Ruby shrugged again. “I didn’t know if you’d want visitors.”

Regina sighed. “I’m not sure I do.” Ruby nodded and moved to leave, but something in Regina ached. In the other world, she had been constantly surrounded by people that cared about her or well the other her. She already missed it. “Wait.” 

Ruby stopped with a tentative smile. 

“How would you like a glass of the best apple cider you ever tasted?”

Ruby snorted. “Sounds good to me, but it smells like you’ve been drinking the harder stuff,” she said tapping her nose. 

Regina rolled her eyes. “Wolves,” she mumbled as she slid aside to make space for Ruby to enter. Ruby just grinned and nearly skipped up the stairs to the porch. The fondness in her eyes mirrored the look she often saw over the last month. It shocked her to see directed at her in this world. She gave her a weak smile before leading them to her study where the bottle already waited for them.

“Do you prefer the harder stuff?” Regina asked. “I recently discovered you enjoy fruity drinks.”

Ruby laughed. “When out and about I love the fruity stuff, but tonight seems like a whiskey night.”

“It does, doesn’t it,” she said looking at her hands. “Let me grab you a glass.”

When she returned, she filled their glasses. They sat in silence for a long moment sipping their drinks. 

“It’s weird seeing you drink,” Ruby said, breaking the silence.

Regina looked into her glass. “Really?”

Ruby blushed. “Well, I suppose she probably did over there. She stopped when she got here.”

“Why? I would have thought she’d have been drowning herself in alcohol being stuck here.”

“I guess it can’t hurt for you to know. Emma knows.” Regina raised her eyebrow and Ruby looked down. “She was pregnant. She didn’t know. I had to tell her.”

“Oh, but —” Regina looked down at her hands. “I can’t.” 

“Apparently True Love works in miraculous ways.”

Regina chuckled and shook her head before tossing back the rest of her drink. “I had thought Emma’s faith in their True Love to be a little optimistic at first, but I can’t say that I am surprised.”

“Have you talked to this Emma? See if you could have it here too?”

Regina amusement fell away. “Why would I? We are completely different here.” Her expression turned soft. “The Emma of that world truly deserved the title of the Savior. She helped me in so many ways…” she said trailing off. She grimaced realizing Emma knew about the pregnancy and still tried to keep the other Regina in spite of it or maybe even because of it. It made her even more angry.

“Our Emma is still the Savior.”

Regina snarled. “She’s a coward that is only concerned with her own happiness. She doesn’t deserve that title. Do you know she tried to keep me over there? How could I love someone like that?”

“I didn’t know.” Ruby took a deep breath as she thought about Emma’s behavior over the last few weeks. It made sense and it didn’t help her like Emma. “I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault.”

After a few minutes of awkwardly sipping her whiskey, Ruby asked, “Do you miss it?”

“The other world?”

“Yeah.”

“It hasn’t really hit me yet,” she said, looking into her glass. “I think I’ll miss Hamilton the most.”

“Hamilton? Who is that?”

Regina laughed and shook her head. Ruby took it as a win. “This musical Henry loved.”

“What was it about?”

“Alexander Hamilton.”

“The founding father guy? Seriously?”

“Yes.”

“The future is strange.”

“You have no idea.”

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

A DIFFERENT WORLD…

After Henry’s call, she felt a little better. She contemplated remaining in the foyer until he arrived, but she wasn’t a coward. 

When she had poofed to the mansion, she expected the comfort of the home she had lived in for three decades. She immediately realized that wasn’t what she was going to get and honestly she should have known better. Her vault would have been a safer choice. The pictures in the foyer were all similar to the one that caught her attention on Emma’s desk. She had taken a few cautious steps in, but froze at the sight of them.

She had been still standing there when Henry called. The house felt foreign and overwhelming. She went up the stairs, carefully avoiding the pictures on the walls. Her goal was the bedroom, but she only made it halfway before she realized it could only be much worse in there. A room at Granny’s might be her best solution until this mess was resolved. 

As much as she didn’t want to deal with this after everything she’d been through that day, she needed to know. She tilted her head up, marched up the stairs and turned down the hall. She wondered if the pictures were Emma’s idea. She’d never been a fan of promoting her weakness and pictures of Henry everywhere would have done just that. Her steps were measured as she made her way toward the room that had been her bedroom for thirty years. She pushed the door open feeling the dread settle in her chest. 

Her eyes fell shut as she stepped over the threshold. They opened slowly, passively taking in the changes. Most things remained the same. There was a hint of disorder to her things that wasn’t normal and Miss Swan’s possessions were scattered throughout. A shirt tossed carelessly on the chaise, more clutter on her dresser, perfume and jewelry that simply didn’t belong. The small touches were worse than the sappy photos. 

She lived with Emma in the same house in the same room. She wondered if she was experiencing some kind of Christmas Carol delusion.

She brushed the shirt onto the floor and settled onto the chaise. She folded her hands over her lap and waited for Henry. Emma had said that Robin didn’t even exist in this world. She had lost her soulmate twice in one day. It had to be a record. 

The door slammed open and she heard Henry’s footsteps ring through the house. “Mom!” Henry called from the bottom of the stairs. She came out of her room and stood at the top of the stairs. Charming stood awkwardly beside him. 

“I’ll just be outside,” Charming mumbled, before slipping out the door. 

“I’ll call you in ten minutes. If you don’t hear from me, you can storm the building,” Henry shouted out the open door before closing it. It should have bothered her hearing him say that, but it lacked the old bitterness. She stared down at her too big son. She thought one year had been hard to miss. 

Her feet carried her down the stairs slowly and she smiled when Henry opened his arms for her when she reached the bottom. She took a step forward, but hesitated. 

He waggled his eyebrows and gave her an impish grin. “Come on, mom. You’ve always said my hugs made everything better.” Her mouth twitched. 

“You aren’t the same Henry I know.”

“I’m still Henry.”

“Are you?”

“Ask me a question.”

“What book did I hate reading you most?”

He grinned and closed the distance between them. “Good Dog Carl. I always wanted Pongo to babysit after. “ Her sad laugh had him pulling her into his arms. He felt her melt into his chest. He had a few good inches on her now. He pressed a kiss in her hair. Apples and Cinnamon. She smelled like home. 

In his younger years, he hadn’t appreciated that without her, no place really felt like home. It startled him when he realized his mom was trembling in her arms. She never let him see her like this before.

“Are you alright?” he asked into her hair.

“You are so big.”

“Unavoidable growth spurt,” he said. “Am I short where you are from?”

“For twelve you are rather tall.”

“I’m twelve?” he sputtered, pulling back.

“Clearly not,” she said, smiling at his shock. “Why don’t we sit in the study and talk?” She looked toward the room. “It is still my study, right?” He nodded and led the way. 

With a flick of her wrist, the fireplace roared to life and she flinched. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah sure.”

“It doesn’t bother you when I use magic?”

“I’m not twelve,” he said, with a wink. “Magic isn’t so bad.”

“It can be.”

“I know, but… you know you can do light magic, right?” he asked, looking at the fire. 

“I do. I actually found that out today.”

“Really?”

“My sister.”

“You have a sister?”

“Seems like we have a lot to talk about. Is it a school night?”

“I seem to remember missing a lot of school when I was twelve. I think I can take a day off to deal with my amnesiac mother.”

“I don’t think I have amnesia.”

“I don’t think you do either.”

Regina sighed. “I need a drink. I’ll be right back.” She paused. “It’s all in the same place?”

“Do you really think you would let Emma change anything?”

“No,” she said with a small smile.

He smiled and she nodded. As she made her way to the liquor cabinet, she heard Henry shout, “Grab one for me!”

“In your dreams. I highly doubt the drinking age is any different here than where I am from.” 

Cider wouldn’t do for this conversation. She pulled down the whiskey and filled a glass with a few fingers. With a quick tip of the glass, she downed the contents. She refilled it and just decided to take the bottle with her. 

Henry’s eyebrows raised when he saw the bottle in her hand. “Are you sure you are my mother?”

“It’s been a very long day, Henry and I’m pretty sure I’m in a different world.”

“That’s what Ma seems to believe.”

“What could those girls have been doing?”

“There’s been a lot going on here in regards to magical education. No one can make any decisions so they’ve been teaching themselves. You’ve been trying to reach out, but it’s been hard on you.”

“I see,” she said, swirling the glass. “They must have stumbled onto something impressive. World travel is hard. I’ve never heard about parallel dimension travel.”

“We’ve been learning about the theory of parallel worlds. It makes some kind of sense.”

“I see you’ve moved past ornithology,” Regina said, sipping her drink with a small smile.

Henry laughed. “Yeah. I’ve been really interested in history lately. This amazing musical Hamilton came out and it’s amazing.”

“Hamilton? As in Alexander Hamilton?”

“Yeah. My dad is trying to get us tickets to take a road trip down to New York to see it. You love it.”

“Do I?”

“You have to listen to it. I think Emma has the CDs in the cruiser, but it’s on your iPod.”

Regina grimaced.

“You do still hate her in your world,” Henry said sadly.

‘I don’t hate Miss Swan. I’m not sure I ever truly hated her,” she said, swirling her drink before taking a sip. “Without her you wouldn’t exist.” 

“But you aren’t… you know,” he said, gesturing around.

“No. Definitely not. Minutes before I was brought here… she destroyed…” she stopped and stared at her hands. “I was with someone else and she ruined it.”

“Someone else?”

She swallowed. “His name…” She stopped and shook her head. “A long time ago, Tinkerbell used pixie dust to help me find my soulmate. I was too afraid then, but I found him again.”

“Mom’s not your soulmate?”

“No she isn’t.”

“And she ruined your chances with him? If he’s your soulmate how did she do that?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Do you think it could have been fate? Like she had to ruin that to let you be open to her?”

“No, Henry. My world is different than yours. She’s with Hook and was planning on running away with you without even telling me.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time she tried to kidnap me,” Henry snarked. Regina stared at him. “Before the curse broke, she tried to run and take me with her. I stopped her.”

“I didn’t know that. Thank you… for stopping her.”

“I wish it was for you,” he said, softly. “I really do, but I just wanted to break the curse.”

“I know,” she said, reaching for his hand. He turned his and laced their fingers together. He gave hers a squeeze. 

“So, let’s see how our world’s match up,” Henry said, with a grin. 

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

Leanne greeted her with a wary look. Regina hadn’t been sure the woman would show. She had been told things had been getting back to normal, but it was still a surprise to see the town actively working toward normalcy. It was a small comfort, but one nevertheless.

Thankfully, she had listened to the note from herself and had come prepared. She pulled the box of chocolate from her purse and placed it carefully on the desk. Leanne looked at them with an unreadable expression before looking up at the mayor and nodding. Regina nodded back and went into her office without a word.

There had been a detailed list of the changes the other Regina had implemented in her absence. She had seen some of them in place in the other world and was actually looking forward to getting back to work. It would make for a nice distraction as long as the Sheriff’s office kept its distance.

Most of her meetings for the next two days had already been pushed back by the other Regina to give her time to adjust and catch up. In all worlds, she remained meticulous. There were numerous reports for her to go over, but she pushed them aside and spun her chair toward the window. It felt nice to be at least attempting to return to a normal life, but it felt like a futile effort. 

Ever since the curse broke, they hadn’t had more than a moment’s rest. The year in the Enchanted Forest had been spent in mourning and war preparations against her sister. This calm now seemed too good to last even if it had been a month. Another portal was sure to open up and swallow them whole.

The other world had spent years tranquilly moving along after Pan and she had envied their peace, but they had become complacent in their peace. She couldn’t allow that here. This world seemed destined for pain and suffering, just like every other bit of her life. She had let herself have hope again just to return and find it had gone up in smoke before it even had a chance. 

The other Regina had wanted her to try. It seemed like a weight on her shoulders to be again the one trying. Everything came so easily for the Charmings. She hadn’t believed it about Emma, but now that Emma had joined her parents she seemed to expect their same good fortune to bless her. So squarely on the side of good, her happy ending was a guarantee. It wasn’t fair.

She wondered how many times her hopes were going to be raised only to be yanked out from under her.

She hoped no one would come in to bother her. According to the notes, Snow had been helping her in order to keep her sanity throughout her maternity leave, but she really wasn’t in the mood for a hope speech. She couldn’t be held accountable if she strangled the hope right out of the other woman. She’d been avoiding her calls. She hoped it would be enough to keep the other woman away for the time being. 

She wished she could have Henry set up shop on her couch like he used to back when he was small enough to enjoy pretending to be her deputy mayor. He would draw maps of the town for her because a good mayor knew where the best playgrounds were.

 

SQSQSQSQSQSQ

 

Regina knew that going to Granny’s was a risk. Too many variables. Robin, Marian, Emma or even just one of the Charmings. But after a few hours at her desk she had started to feel trapped, surrounded as she was by the other Regina’s notes and words of advice. She needed out and lunch seemed like the perfect excuse. 

She had gotten used to being surrounded by friends and she missed them, but none of the people here were exactly right.They were still so young and nervous and they just made her miss what she had lost.

On the plus side of all this mess, after talking to Ruby, she realized the woman was just as lost in this world as Regina felt now. It helped her feel less alone and that’s what settled her on Granny’s even with the risk. She hoped seeing Ruby again would ease the ache. 

As she walked in, she spotted Ruby at the counter with a sigh of relief. That relief fled as Ruby’s eyes widened and she shook her head. Regina glanced around the diner, spotting the trademark red leather. She hesitated. She didn’t want to run, but Emma’s head turned in what felt like slow motion and their eyes met. She saw unbridled hope and it was much too soon for that. She turned for the door, not caring that she looked like a coward. 

Emma called her name as she reached for the door. She heard her get up to follow her so she move to escape via magic, but Emma grabbed her arm as it came down in her standard poofing motion and she felt Emma being pulled with her.


	4. Chapter 4

 

They reappeared in her office and she immediately yanked her arm free. “Get out,” she snapped, marching over to her desk without even sparing the other woman a glance. She sat down with a huff kept her head down and picked up some papers for something to do with her hands.

“You can’t avoid me forever,” Emma said. “We’re both Henry’s parents.”

“I don’t plan to,” Regina snapped. “Asking for space is not avoidance. I would appreciate if you honored my wishes.”

“I’ll honor it after we talk. We need to talk,” Emma insisted.

“Why?” Regina asked, casually, “Have another confession?”

“Maybe?” 

“I don’t want to hear it,” Regina replied, shuffling the papers.

“I think you should.”

“And whatever the Savior says goes?” Regina asked, finally looking up. The papers crumbled in her hands. 

She’d asked for space. Was that so hard to respect? The other Emma had backed off when she asked. Why couldn't this one?

“No. Of course not,” Emma said, pulling back at the look on her face.

“Then go away.”

“I’m an idiot.”

“Finally something we can agree on. Go away.”

“I’m an idiot because I think I have feelings for you and I want to make this right.”

“You’re an idiot because you just don’t get it,” Regina said, her voice picking up in volume. “You don’t don’t have feelings for me. You have feelings for her. You as good as left me for dead.”

“I didn’t.”

“You did. You would have rather I stayed there so you could keep your precious other Regina. The one that loved you. And now you say you want to make it right and that you might have feelings for me and expect me to believe you?” Regina hissed out, shaking her head. “What do you know of love?”

“She wasn’t you. You’re different than her. She wasn’t you. I know you, Regina.”

“You know nothing, Emma Swan.”

“Caught up on Game of Thrones over there, huh? Got any spoilers for me?” Emma asked with an awkward smile, hoping to slow down the argument. 

“What?” Regina asked with a look that clearly suggested she thought Emma had lost her mind.

“You know nothing, Jon Snow?” Emma said. Regina just looked at her bewildered. “It’s a thing.” She shrugged.

Regina pushed back from her desk and stood up. Emma tried smiling, but Regina’s face was unreadable as she rounded the desk and invaded her space.

“You really are an idiot. You aren’t in love with me. You fell in love with an idea not me,” Regina said, with a softer voice than Emma was used to. She reached out and stroked Emma’s cheek. “I supposed I’m guilty of that as well. I almost convinced myself that I could just come back here and forget Robin. Forget what happened. Forget what you did.” 

She leaned in, her lips nearly brushing Emma’s before she moved to her ear. “I thought I could love you.” The grip on Emma’s face tightened and Emma flinched. Regina pushed her away. “I was wrong. You made me a fool. Again.”

“I never meant to do that,” Emma said, touching her cheek where Regina had touch.

“You must think I have no idea what it was like for you with her. I know more about our little love affair in the other world than you can imagine.You forget I lived it. For weeks. I was surrounded by the evidence every day.”

“Why can’t we have that? Don’t you want that?”

“I don’t want it with you,” Regina lashed out. “I have been an idea before. Your very grandfather and mother. They loved the idea of me and I only suffered for it. I won’t suffer for your idea of me.”

“You think being with me would be suffering,” Emma stuttered out.

“It wouldn’t be based on anything real,” Regina said, quietly.

“It could be if we tried,” Emma offered, taking a step closer. “I want to try. Can’t we try?”

“I don’t want to try just because it worked in another world. That’s not how love works. They built up to the love you saw.” 

Regina sighed. “When did you get so selfish, Emma? Do you even care about what you did to me? You can’t possibly think this would somehow work between us after what you did. Did you think I would just jump into your arms because I saw some pretty pictures of the two of us even knowing the truth?”

“You trusted pixie dust with Robin,” Emma said and Regina flinched.

“Don’t you dare speak to me about him,” Regina growled, teeth bared. “I could have forgiven you for Marian, but then you took it even further for your own selfishness. If you really loved me, you never would have done that.”

“I… just wanted to be happy.”

Regina shook her head. “You can’t just decide that we can just be in love now and everything will be easy. At least, I thought about the reality. Did you really honestly expect your little confession to go over well today? Were you at home last night picturing how I would fall into your arms after you declared you “think you have feelings” for me? I thought you were done believing in fairy tales and you know what? Your brand of self righteousness is almost worse than your parents. I could have expected this kind of behavior from them, this pathetic display of arrogance and ego. I expected better from you.” She scoffed.

“Which really what a joke. I should have expected this level of desperation. You fell into bed with Hook because he followed you around and was easy. You think you somehow deserve a prize for being the Savior. You don’t. What happened to the Emma Swan that didn’t expect the world to reward her for her good deeds? When did you start blindly deciding what is right for other people?”

“Regina, stop. You aren’t being fair.”

“I thought you wanted to talk. Here. We’re talking. Do you want to know how stupid I feel for thinking you were worth giving up my soulmate? I was even concocting ways around Hook.” Regina chuckled humorlessly. “I thought my trip there had opened my eyes and given me a new perspective on what my happy ending could be, but all it really did was further ruin my chances with Robin. Was that your plan? In case you couldn’t keep the other one?”

“That’s not what I wanted,” Emma protested. 

“Did you think you could make me happier than my soulmate?”

“Please, Regina. No. You know me. I wasn’t trying to keep you from Robin. I know I should have handed over the wand as soon as I knew. I just thought…” she trailed off. 

“You could have me without the burden of a soulmate? I don’t actually think you thought at all beyond yourself just like when you decided to take Henry back to New York.”

“Henry was happy there and safe.”

“He was lonely!”

Emma sighed and tilted her head back, blinking rapidly as if she was holding back tears. “I thought we were passed all of this fighting.” She bit her lip and looked at Regina.

“Maybe we were passed it all before you traded me for a different model. I’m not leftovers.” 

“I thought you’d understand and forgive me.”

“I do understand. I just don’t forgive you.”

Emma looked like a kicked puppy. She knew she had no defense for her actions. They were just simply wrong. Regina deflated at the look. 

“It’s been a day, Emma. Just go away. I don’t want to fight with you any more. I didn't want to from the beginning.”

Emma looked like she wanted to try again, but Regina shook her head. “Please, Emma, just…” She waved her hand at the door. Emma dropped her head at the uncharacteristic pleading, but finally nodded. 

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

A DIFFERENT WORLD…

Regina had always assumed that once Henry hit his late teens he would continue his night owl ways and stay up until the late hours and be exhausted the next day. But the late hour caught up with him until he couldn’t contain his yawns. He tried valiantly to stay up for her, but the day caught up to him. Apparently soccer practice and helping Belle at the library with her after school program put him to bed early. Though to be fair, it wasn’t exactly early. Hearing about his life calmed her and she was feeling a bit more relaxed so she sent him off to bed with assurances that she would be fine. 

Once he was gone, she didn’t feel too fine. Her anxiety rushed back full force. She gripped her glass like a lifeline and actually thought about calling Emma Swan to keep her company. As disturbing as the idea that she was now in a relationship with the woman, seeing her seemed like the better option than being alone. She was tempted to wake Henry and have him sleep in her bed so even if she spent the hours staring at the ceiling at least she would have him near. 

But she couldn’t bring herself to be that weak in front of him again. It helped that he was years older and much more mature, but she couldn’t ask him to fight off her demons for her.

As she finished her glass and refilled it, she finally let herself think about Robin. She thought about his shocked face and then the joy that replaced it. She remembered when Daniel had come back. She chuckled to herself humorlessly. She actually envied Robin. His love had been returned to him whole and truly alive. It really put things into perspective. A hero like Robin deserved his true love and a villain like herself didn’t.

A monster like herself, she corrected. 

Rumple’s voice echoed in her head. Villains don’t get happy endings. She couldn’t believe she had let herself believe otherwise. Nothing hurt worse than unrealistic hope.

She looked around the room and sighed. It looked like in this world she had gotten her happy ending. Perhaps it was only in her world she was destined for disaster at every turn. How happy could she really be with Emma Swan of all people? 

She stood and looked at the photos on her desk. According to the pictures, very. They reminded her of the pictures she had taken with Henry pre-book and pre-adoption disaster. The darkness that lurked in her eyes in those pictures with Henry was missing. She looked content.

Keys rattled at the front door. It startled her for a moment because no one but Henry had ever had keys to the mansion. Her intrepid lover had come home after all. Daring of her really. She cradled the glass and moved to the door. Emma jumped as she opened the door and leaned against the frame. 

“Welcome home, darling.”

Emma shuddered. “Okay. That’s seriously creepy.”

Regina raised her eyebrow. “I thought I said I didn’t want you here.”

“Sorry. I thought you would be sleeping. I just needed to grab some things before I head over to my parents.”

Regina looked her up and down and sighed. She looked exhausted. “You might as well stay. It’s late.”

Emma eyed her curiously, but didn’t say anything for a long moment. Then she just shrugged in a way that reminded her of the more carefree pre-curse breaking Emma Swan. The gesture made her realize she missed that Emma. Her brazen disregard for the norms of the town had been irritating, but strangely refreshing. She had missed having a challenge. It had been a part of why she had adopted Henry in the first place.

“Okay. If you are sure. That would be great. Um, do you want the master bedroom or would that be weird? You know with my stuff all over the place…”

“I’ve seen,” she said, frowning. “But I’d rather be in there.”

“Okay. I’ll just need to get some things from the bed room before bed.”

“Were you going to just creep in while I was sleeping?”

Emma blanched. “I didn’t even think about that.”

Regina shook her head. “Why don’t you come in and have a nightcap? I talked with Henry and we think we have some things figured out.”

“Yeah, the girls gave me a good idea of what happened.”

“Oh?”

“I think you are from a parallel dimension.”

Regina nodded. “That’s the conclusion we reached as well.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to wait until morning?” Emma asked, biting her lip and searching her face.

“I doubt I will be able to sleep,” she said. Emma nodded as if she expected that. “But if you are tired, I suppose I can wait.”

“No. I’m fine. I think the adrenaline from the shock is wearing off a bit, but a drink would be nice. My Regina is probably sharing a glass with the other Emma right now,” she said, trying on an awkward smile. Regina grimaced and looked away. 

“You guys don’t hate each other still, do you?” Emma asked, stepping forward. “By the time Henry turned twelve, we’d mended a lot of bridges and were on our way to… well this,” she said, gesturing around the house.

Regina crossed her arms.“We aren’t on our way to this in my world.”

“Yeah, well I never would have guessed it back then either,” Emma said.

She shook her head. “You don’t understand. It’s different in my world.” She stood aside with gesture to the study. “If we are going to talk about all of this, I’d rather not wake Henry.” 

“Okay. Hold on,” Emma said, rushing to fetch a glass.

“The bottle is in here,” she called softly after Emma.

Emma poked her head out of the kitchen with her eyebrow raised. “Really?” Regina rolled her eyes and entered the study. 

Henry had pointed out the absurdity of being angry at this Emma for the questionable decisions of the other Emma, but she still felt uneasy. It was better than being alone, but she still felt the edge to her anger pushing through the haze of the liquor. She had asked Tinkerbell what she would have had without her anger back in Neverland. For so long, anger had been her only companion.

This world traveling business kept her from acting on any of the feelings swirling around in her head. Sitting in this strange house surrounded emblems of her love for another person gave her the distraction she needed to look at the situation in a different way. She wondered how hard she would have slid back into the dark side of things if she was home. She could feel it eating at her. It whispered to her about how easy it would be to take Robin’s Marian out of the picture without anyone being the wiser. 

Emma appeared at the door with a high ball glass in hand. Regina picked up the bottle and offered it to her. During the hand off, Regina could feel her studying her face again. She wondered what she was giving away. 

“So, you don’t hate me?” Emma finally asked, after she poured herself a few fingers. She placed the bottle on the table, but continued to stand. She took a sip, looking over the glass at Regina .

“I don’t really know you now, do I?” Regina asked as she swirled her glass before tossing it all back. She took the bottle and filled her cup again. “Henry and I discovered that our stories diverge at a rather crucial point.” She looked down at her glass. “To answer your question in the more general sense, it’s complicated. Literally right before I ended up here, you did something that…” She let out a heavy sigh. “Ruined my life.”

Emma finally sat down on the opposite couch and leaned forward with her glass between her knees. “Shit.”

“I apologize for my behavior earlier. I was taking my anger out on you when I wanted to take my anger out on her.” 

Emma nodded, staring down at her glass. “I’m sure you had a good reason. What did I do?”

Regina chuckled humorlessly. “What you thought was the right thing.”

“I do try to do that.” She looked up. “I’m going to take a stab and say it wasn’t breaking the curse.”

Regina chuckled, feeling some of the tension in her shoulders release. “Would you believe me if I told you that the curse breaking was a godsend?”

“You may have told me that before,” Emma said with a sad smile. 

Regina looked around the room. “I imagine I told you a great many things.”

“Does it bother you?”

“That you probably know all of my secrets?”

“No. This,” Emma said, gesturing around. “That a version of you is in a relationship with me.”

Regina shook her head. “At least now I know a secret about you.”

“Huh?”

“That you find me attractive.” 

Emma laughed. “It always surprised me that you didn’t know. I thought I was pretty obvious.”

“I had my suspicions before the curse broke, but it’s been hard to tell when there is always a man taking up your attention.” 

Emma laughed. “So, I take it you went to Neverland?”

“Yes and you are with Hook in my world.”

Emma’s face contorted into a grimace. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“Why? I just can’t see myself doing that.” 

“Like I said, this world split off into a very different timeline.”

“I do get that, but Hook? With all of his talk about winning my heart whether I wanted him to or not?” Emma shook her head. “Not really my thing. I lived in the real world. That’s never a good sign.”

“You kissed him in Neverland,” Regina pointed out.

Emma groaned. “And regretted it immediately. It felt like I was paying for his good deed with sexual favors.” She took another sip as if to cleanse her palate. “It made me feel dirty and then he fought over me with Neal like a spoiled child. I didn’t want either of them after that. We were trying to save Henry not determine my love life.”

Regina hummed to herself thinking about the moment in the Skull Cave where Emma asked her what she wanted to do.

“Henry and I determined that our time lines split after Pan came to Storybrooke. He said we caught him before he could enact his plan,” she eventually offered.

“Yeah. He’s still in the box under Rumple’s shop. Which is a little weird when you stop and think about it,” Emma said, staring into her glass. “So I take it you guys didn’t figure it out. What happened?”

“We eventually did, but not until after Pan got a hold of the dark curse,” Regina said, gripping her glass tightly. She’d been so happy that Henry needed her that she had let herself be blinded. Emma’s warning only made her defensive and aggressively disinterested in the truth. 

“How did you figure it out?”

“I took Pan right to the curse. He knocked me out and stole it. You didn’t trust him and freed Henry from the box. You tried to warn me, but…” She looked away.

“You were too stubborn?”

Regina rolled her eyes. “I’m sorry if I don’t take it well when someone disregards the ten years I spent being a mother to Henry.”

“What? I didn’t do that. I told you that if anyone would figure out what was going it would be you.”

Regina studied her face for the lie, but didn’t find one. “Well, I guess we know why things diverged.” She let out a huff and took a deep drink. “That would have probably worked.” 

“It did work,” Emma said. “You listened to me and figured him out.”

She shook her head. “Not in my world. You were extremely defensive with me on those stairs. It felt like you still didn’t trust me with Henry. After all we’d been through in Neverland… in the end, I ignored your advice and I lost Henry for a year.”

“A year?”

Regina refilled her glass. Her hands didn’t work quite the way she wanted them to and she knew this should probably be her last. “It was the only way to stop Pan’s curse. I had to give up what I loved the most. I could save everyone by sending them back to the Enchanted Forest, but Henry had been born here so my spell wouldn’t take him. Since you escaped the first one you were free of it as well if you crossed the town line. You forgot everything and I gave you good memories to live out your lives with. You were his only mother for a year.”

Emma’s eyes widened and she fell back against the couch. “Did you remember?” Emma asked, turning toward her.

“Yes.”

“That must have been agony.”

“It was, but we got back to Storybrooke and he came home.” At Emma’s look, she shook her head. “It’s a long story.”

“Is she sorry for ruining your life?”

“I suppose she’s sorry for that.” Regina sighed. “She saved the life of an innocent mother. The life of my soulmate’s dead wife.”

“Your soulmate?”

“Did I ever tell you about how I met Tinkerbell?”

“The pixie dust guy?”

Regina nodded. “His name is Robin Hood.”

“Your soulmate is fucking Robin Hood?”

Regina gave a weak chuckle. “According to the pixie dust.”

“That’s just… Robin Hood. Wow,” Emma said, blinking rapidly. “He was my hero when I was a kid. All that stealing from the rich to give to the poor. I thought he was so cool and he’s your soulmate. I’m kind of jealous.”

“Well, it’s over now.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Are you really?” Regina asked, watching the older version of Emma Swan carefully. She was different and yet the same. “Or are you just glad your Regina isn’t getting wooed by her soulmate in my world?”

Emma frowned. “I am sorry. You deserve to be happy whether it’s with me or someone else. ” Emma shrugged and stared into her cup before meeting her eyes. “And, well, I trust her. I think a soulmate can mean a lot of things. It doesn’t have to be romantic.”

“I guess I will have to learn to believe that.”

“He could still choose you.”

“Over the woman he told me he would walk across hot coals for? I don’t think so,” she said, shaking her head. “They have a son, a shared past, and probably true love.” Emma grinned, but quickly tried to hide it. “What?”

“We have all those things.”

“What?”

“Sorry,” Emma said with a wince. “That was probably inappropriate to say when you just lost your soulmate.”

“You think?” Regina grumbled. “So, you have true love?”

Emma shrugged. “There was no magic show of light, but I’m pretty confident we have it.”

Regina hummed to herself and poured herself some more whiskey. In all the years of her life, she had to say that this night was probably the weirdest she’d ever had and that was including the first nights of the curse discovering the bizarre world of the 80’s television.

“Good for you,” she said, softly.

“I’m sorry,” Emma said. Regina noticed her hands fidgeting in her lap.

“Me too.”

“What will happen to the girls?”

“Community service.”

“Do they know what they did?”

“I thought I could get your help with that. Maybe if they showed you how they created the spell, you could figure out how to reverse it.”

“I can try.”

“The other you is going to be so pissed at me.”

“Why?”

“She’d been advocating for magical teaching, but Gold was fighting her on how. I didn’t pick a side and it’s been dragging on and well now this has happened.” 

“I see.”

“Why don’t we finish talking tomorrow? Try to get some rest,” Emma suggested. “Maybe before you kill that bottle.” Regina sighed. 

“Okay.”

“If you need anything, I’ll be in the guest room,” Emma said, standing. “If you are still okay with me staying…”

“Who am I really to kick you out? This is more your house than mine.”

 

*******

 

She climbed under the covers and felt the room spin. She hadn’t had a chance to eat before Marian had appeared and now her stomach held nothing but whiskey. 

She could smell Emma on the blankets. It surprised her how much it comforted her. Earlier that night, the woman had crushed her heart, but somehow she had found a way to make it a little better. 

Not that they were even the same people. This one loved her. Cared about her. Slept in the same bed with her for christsakes. 

Her drunk brain reminded her how attractive Emma looked tonight. Unhelpfully. She had always found her attractive especially during the first year, but after the curse broke there hadn’t been much of a chance to appreciate much of anything. It had been a miracle she had found Robin.

She felt her heart ache with missing him and regretted not dwelling on Emma. He had been the first bright light in her life since the curse broke aside from Henry. 

Like Henry, he made her feel like she could be more than a villain. Her soulmate turned out to be one of greatest heroes in all the books of this world and he knew about her past. She felt like fate had finally chosen to give her a break.

As soon as she returned her heart to its rightful place, she knew she loved the sassy thief. Her heart had nudged her forward even when it was in the hands of her sister. She thought about kissing him in the woods and the beautiful day they had before it all came crashing down. Fate was a cruel mistress. 

At least in her world. 

This world’s Regina she seemed to have caught a break. She never had to feel the pain of losing her soulmate. She’d managed years of happiness.

She pressed her face into her pillow and tried to muffle the sobs that welled up. She didn’t want to wake Henry or bring Emma to her room. 

She had been without Robin for just a few hours and already she missed the way he looked at her. She almost wanted Emma there. This Emma looked at her like she hated to see her suffering. It reminded her of him. It was a world apart from the pity she had received at the diner earlier that night. It felt like understanding and love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't hate me.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> if ****** follows that means it's still within the flashback. I thought it would make it easier to follow.

Emma left the mayor’s office with her head down. She didn’t even bother to acknowledge Leanne as she left. Pissing off bosses didn’t really endear you to their staff. They’d never had the most forgiving of relationships to start with, but she assumed the woman appreciated the whole curse-breaking thing. Any good will she earned with that was most likely lost. There was no way she hadn’t heard at least part of their argument and now another person knew what she had done. She didn’t need the judgment. 

She stepped out into the sun and looked down the road to Granny’s. The cruiser was sitting out front and she’d need to pick it up at some point, Ruby had gotten close to the other Regina. She’d want to know what happened and again Emma didn’t want the judgment. Ruby would find out soon enough.

The opposite direction held promise so she ambled down the street aimlessly until she found herself outside the school. She chuckled to herself remembering that yes, she was in a small town. Even wandering would place you in front of somewhere familiar. It was easy to forget with the amount of magical crises that arose. Regina had been right. She hadn’t cared much about the town since the curse broke. To be fair, she’d been busy being their Savior. Now that things had calmed down, it really was time to change that.

She sat on a bench outside the school and stared out at the street. She knew she shouldn’t have rushed things, but when she saw Regina standing there at the diner it just felt so urgent. Regina just needed to understand and she had been sure that she would if she had just explained. 

She just wanted to be happy. Of all people she thought Regina would understand that.

Maybe eventually Regina would understand, but cornering her so soon… bound to be a disaster. She should have known better. In hindsight, it wasn’t her best idea. 

The other Regina had told her it had taken them dinners and time to fall in love. But they had the luxury of a world without soulmates or constant chaos. They got the opportunity to take their time. It was hard to imagine they’d have the chance in this world where you never quite knew if the butcher or ice cream lady were just waiting for the right opportunity to attack. 

She had only been on the bench a few minutes before someone settled next to her. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted the leather and knew who had found her. It didn’t surprise her. It never felt like he was far.

“I’m not in the mood, Killian,” she said, staring forward.

“I was right, wasn’t I? She rejected you.”

“It’s really none of your business. Now really isn’t the time, Killian.”

“Come on now, Swan. Don’t be like that,” he said, reaching for her arm.

She turned toward him with narrowed eyes, shrugging his hand off. “Be like what?”

He shrugged. “Playing hard to get. I’ve put up with it for long enough.”

“You’ve put up with it?”

“Yes and now that you’ve got this flight of fancy or whatever nonsense you think you had with Regina out of the way, it’s time we pick up where we left off.”

She raised her eyebrows at him. “I think you are confused about why we broke up.”

“I don’t think so. You got wrapped up in the other Regina’s lies about the past. She’s gone now, love.”

Emma raised her eyebrow. “Were they really lies?” 

“Does it matter?” he asked, “I tried to tell you about my past, but you said you didn’t care.”

Emma studied him carefully. “Did she lie?”

He frowned. “I’ve changed from that man. I gave up my ship for you. Would the man that gave up Baelfire have done that?”

“I don’t know,” Emma said and he stared back at her.

“You said you didn’t care,” he said, leaning toward her. 

“I didn’t.” She leaned back and turned back to the street. “But you shouldn’t have pretended to be better than you were. I knew what you were. I knew you were a villain. I saw the movie. I appreciated you for what you were trying to be, not a farce of a hero. You didn’t need to lie. You could have just said nothing.”

“So, that’s it?” He sneered. “After every thing we’ve been through, you’re done with me just like that? Do you really think she will change her mind?”

“Regina has nothing to do with this.”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” he said, rolling his eyes.

“I can’t be with someone I don’t trust.”

“You don’t trust me? I’ve done everything you’ve asked of me.”

“Except tell me the truth,” she said, with a sigh. “I used to pride myself on being able to spot a liar, but now… Did you actually help Ariel or was that a lie, too?”

He scoffed, but didn’t deny that it was a lie. She hung her head. Being a human lie-detector used to be her only saving grace. “Seriously?” she asked, looking at him in disbelief. She had thrown out Ariel as a way to give him a leg to stand on. 

“You assumed.” He shrugged. “I wasn’t going to correct you.”

“For God’s sake, Killian. What do you expect from me here?”

“I expect you to honor our love. Without you, what am I supposed to do? I gave up my only way out of this cursed town for you.”

“I never asked you to do that.”

“I was trying to be the bloody hero, wasn’t I? And look what’s it’s gotten me,” he snapped. “Fucking nothing.”

“A hero doesn’t do things just for rewards.”

“Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Swan,” he said, pushing himself off the bench. “I would have done anything for you. Remember that next time Regina spits on your efforts.”

She wasn’t sure how long she sat there after he left, but soon there were children streaming past her and she realized school was over. She looked for Henry, but only found her mother pushing a stroller in her direction. She desperately searched for Henry, but couldn’t find him. When she looked back at her mother, she found the smaller woman glaring at her. She tried a smile, but Mary Margaret’s frown only deepened. 

“Why do you look like you did something wrong?”

“Because I did something wrong?” Emma asked, looking past her mom. “Where’s Henry?”

Snow narrowed her eyes. “Helping tutor some of the other kids. While the other kids were in the Enchanted Forest, he got a bit ahead of them in his schooling.”

“He’s a good kid.” Emma smiled, looking back at her mother. “What were you doing here? Aren’t you on maternity leave?”

“Well, the apartment gets lonely. I’ve been helping Regina, but I thought she’d like to be alone today,” Snow said and Emma frowned. “I got a little bored so I decided to stop in and see my class. Show off the new Prince,” she said, looking down at the little wrapped bundle. “I think the better question is what did you do.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready to talk about it.”

“Okay.” Snow linked their arms. “How about we go back to the loft and I make you some tea?”

“That sounds okay.” Emma smiled and let her mom lead her towards the apartment.

“I am your mother and it’s my job to make sure you are okay.”

Emma leaned against her shoulder. “That’s nice.”

Snow handed off her baby brother as soon as they entered the apartment and headed straight for the kettle. He immediately started fussing and she tried bouncing him the way Regina did, but he continue wriggling and making grumpy noises. She made cooing sounds at him as her mother watched from the kitchen. She swore he saw right through her attempts and after a few minutes of somewhat tolerance he started wailing. Her mother grinned at her from the kitchen. 

“Check his diaper for me, will you?” Snow said, pulling down some mugs.

Emma glared, but pulled back the diaper to look. A foul odor filled her nostrils and she gagged. “Damn. That’s nasty.”

Snow chuckled and came around the counter and handed her a diaper and some wipes. “Wanna give it a go?”

Emma pursed her lips, but took the diaper. She placed him on a blanket and peeled back the diaper. She swapped them out more efficiently than she expected. It felt like old muscle memory from when Henry had been young. Her mother watched her carefully and she felt the sting of tears in her eyes. 

“Are you okay?” Snow asked, as she leaned over the counter, watching her closely.

Emma wiped at her eyes with her sleeve. “How did you deal with realizing the life you had been living was a lie?”

“What do you mean?” 

“After the curse.”

“Oh.” Snow looked down at the counter before she looked at her daughter. “I didn't have a lot of time to think about it before we were whisked off to the Enchanted Forest.” She tried a smile. “When we came home, I had you and David so I didn’t really dwell.”

“You got your memories back and were happy.”

“In a wa”

“I got mine back and my world fell apart,” Emma said, as she pushed the little sticky tabs onto the diaper.

“Oh, Emma.”

She looked up at her mother. “I was nearly engaged to a man in New York. I had a life. I was happy. I never gave Henry up and we were happy, but it was all a lie.” She took a deep breath before letting it out slowly and looking down at her brother s her mother watched. “I remember changing his diapers, but I never did. We were happy. Ever since… happiness seems just just out of reach. I keep reaching for it. Trying to seize it in my grasps, but I can’t seem to get a hold of it.”

“Regina?”

“In a way. I tried to find it with Hook, but he only lied to me,” she said, looking down at her brother. “The other Regina came and pointed it out to me. I thought she… I tried to talk to our Regina. I pushed her and she said some things.”

“Did you expect different?”

Emma sighed and picked up her brother. He seemed more manageable with his diaper changed. 

“I know that the other Regina seemed like the perfect option to you, but she was meant to be in another world,” Snow said.

“I know that.”

“You can’t force Regina to change.” 

“I know. I just hoped she would understand and we could… I don’t know.”

“You don’t need a partner to have happiness. You have your family now.”

“I know and you don’t know how much that means to me,” Emma said, “but it just feels like something is missing.” She looked down at baby Neal. “Is it wrong of me to want more?”

“No, honey. It’s natural. I want more for you, too. You’ll get there eventually. I know it.”

“She was pregnant, you know,” Emma said, pulling her brother to her chest. He seemed to sense the somber atmosphere and settled quietly into her arms.

“I know.”

“It was my baby,” she said, tucking her face against Neal’s head.

Snow moved closer, her eyes filled with something she couldn’t read. She placed her hand gently on Emma’s arm. “No, it wasn’t,” she said, shaking her head. 

Emma’s eyes filled with tears again. “I know.” They spilled over and streamed down her face. “I do. But I wanted it to be.”

“I know.” She wrapped her arms around her daughter and son and rubbed slow circles between Emma’s shoulder blades. “I know.”

The sound of the kettle broke the moment and Snow released her to pull it off the stove. She filled their cups before bringing them over to the coffee table. 

“Here. Let me put him in that vibrating chair that Ruby bought him,” Snow said, approaching with open arms. Emma looked down at her little brother, reluctantly. He was finally being manageable. “Unless… you want to hold him a little longer. That’s okay, too.”

“No. Here,” she said, lifting him up and holding him out toward her mother. Snow pulled him close to her chest for a moment before peppering him with kisses. Emma wondered for what felt like the thousandth time what her life would have been like to grow up with this woman as her mother. Snow wouldn’t have been this person in front of her if she had gotten to keep her. Mary Margaret dismissed uncomfortable news stories, but as Queen she would have had to deal with them head on. She must have been strong to go up against a personality like Regina’s. 

She missed her old roommate that hated the news. It sucked that she had to lose her first real friend in ages in order to gain a mother. When she went to school in overly large clothes and listened to her school mates complain about their parents, she thought she would never take a parent for granted, yet here she was wishing she still had her friend instead of her mother.

“You can’t push Regina,” Snow said, tucking Neal’s blanket around his face. “She isn’t someone you force into anything.”

“You would know, huh?” Emma said, picking up her tea and sipping.

“I would,” Snow said, meeting her eyes with a serious look. “Better than anyone.” 

Emma looked away. “What do I do?”

“Give her time. Try to understand. You did a horrible thing, Emma. No one would be able to just forgive that immediately.”

“I know.”

“Then why did you expect her to so soon?” her mother asked. “Maybe you should give her space and take the time to figure yourself out a bit. It would be a bad idea to talk to Archie.”

Emma knew that her mother didn’t know about her childhood, but it still stung. “I don’t need therapy. I’ve seen enough therapists in my life.” She didn’t ask for elaboration and it made her wonder how much of her life experiences were being equated to some Lifetime specials her mother had seen.

“It might help you sort out your issues.”

“I don’t have issues.” Snow pursed her mouth and Emma bit her lip at the patronizing look. “I don’t.”

“Emma.”

“What would Archie know anyway? He got his degree from a curse.”

“Having someone to talk to with an outside perspective might help.”

“Yeah, I seem to recall he jumped on the Regina-is-guilty train rather quickly at that town meeting after the second curse. He doesn’t really seem like an outside perspective to me.”

“You wouldn’t just be talking Regina. You’ve been through a lot in the last few years. The last few weeks have been pretty great, but now it’s changed again.” Snow said, reaching for Emma’s hand. “You’ve lost so much. That man Walsh, Neal, Hook and now Regina. You need to deal with all that. Loss is hard. How do you think you can be what Regina needs when you aren’t even taking care of yourself? We are getting a break right now and we need to use it.”

“Don’t jinx it.” Emma sighed. She rested her arms on her knees and put her head in her hands. 

“Hook always talked about my walls. Remember back when we were roommates and you told me I should let them go? I’ve been trying, but every time I think I’m ready to let someone in I lose them. I’m starting to wonder if it’s even worth trying.”

Snow tried to meet her eye, but she hid her face. “Love is always worth it.”

“I just can’t imagine a time where it won’t hurt.”

“Did I ever tell you about the time I took a potion to forget your father?”

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

A DIFFERENT WORLD…

 

Morning came too soon and she woke when Emma placed a glass of water with some Tylenol by the bed. Emma gave her an indulgent smile as she groaned and rubbed at her face. Her brain caught up with her eyes and she sat up in shock. The rush of blood to her head had her clutching it in agony. Emma held out the water and pills and she reached for them gratefully. 

“Forget for a minute?” Emma asked, with a low tone mindful of her hangover.

She glared blearily as chased the pills with a sip of the water.

“Did you sleep okay?” Emma asked.

“Well enough. The alcohol helped.” She fell back against the pillows. “What time is it?”

“Late. I was going to let you sleep, but I have some errands to run and I didn’t want to leave you alone.”

She rubbed her face. “Where’s Henry?”

“School,” Emma said, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Will you be okay alone for a little while?”

“I’m always alone. What difference does it make?” Regina grumbled as she pulled the blankets over her head.

“You aren’t in this world. You won’t have to deal with this alone.” 

Regina remained under the blankets without a word and eventually she felt the mattress shift. 

“I promise.”

 

*******

 

“Okay. Wow. Yeah,” Neal said, mouth gaping open like a fish.

Regina moved to slam the door in his face.

“Sorry! It’s just been awhile since we’ve had any really weird shit happen around here,” he said, reaching to stop the door. “I have booze.” He held up a bottle of tequila. 

She grimaced, but let him stop the door. “I’m hungover,” she said, pressing her fingers to her temple. “Why would I want more alcohol?”

“Best way to get rid of a hangover is to start drinking again,” he said, waving the bottle. She shook her head. “Look I know you don’t know me, but I have it under good authority that Snow White will be here in an hour and trust me you’ll want the tequila then.”

Regina leaned against the door frame. “Emma’s doing?”

“She means well?”

“Doesn’t she always,” Regina said, rolling her eyes. “You know I have a large supply of liquor of my own inside. I don’t really need you.”

“You don’t, but I’ll be an excellent buffer when Snow gets here. Plus you can ask me anything and won’t have to look me in the face when you get home to your world.” Regina frowned. “I heard I’m dead,” he said, shrugging with a smile, “I’m sure Snow will spend half the time trying to comfort me when she hears.” 

She blinked at the man’s dismissive attitude, but stepped aside and watched him head toward the kitchen. He returned with two shot glasses and grinned as he led the way into her study.

“I should change,” Regina said, looking down at her pajamas. 

“You traveled worlds yesterday,” Neal said with a shrug. “I think you get a pass on real people clothes.” He filled the shot glasses and slid one her way. 

“Must we do shots?”

“We don’t have a lot of time and I heard a little bit about what you’ve been through. Shots are the best choice if we are going to be sloshed by the time your mother in law gets here.” 

Regina’s eyes widened and she snatched the shot and tossed it back. He laughed. “Well, she’s not technically your mother in law, but I suppose she’s close enough.” He picked up his shot and drank it down in one long swallow.

Regina tilted her head to the bottle pointedly. He smiled and poured them both another round. “I bet this is weird for you.”

“You have no idea,” she said, taking the shot from him. 

“Well, at least now you get a chance to get to know me,” he said, with a smile.

Regina hummed. “How did this,” she said, gesturing between them, “happen to begin with?”

“Our friendship?” She nodded. “Booze,” he said cheekily and she shook her head. “And Henry,” he finished, with a fond smile.

“He’s good at that,” she said, “bringing people together.”

“True story. He helped me find Tiana, my wife,” he said. “You helped. Kinda,” he said clearly reminiscing. 

“How?” she asked, taking the shot.

“You turned me into a frog,” he said and the shot nearly came out her nose. He downed his shot as well. “I deserved it,” he said with a wink.

“What did Emma tell you about me?” Regina asked, already feeling her hangover retreating and the haze of the tequila hitting her system.

“Parallel universe, etc. I’m dead. You don’t love her. Something about Robin Hood being your soulmate.”

She nodded.

“I met the guy while I was trying to get to Neverland. He helped me.”

“Really?”

Neal frowned. “I made him use his son as bait for Pan’s Shadow. Not my finest moment.”

“You were desperate to help Henry.”

He nodded. “Is that why I died? To save Henry?”

“Not to save him this time, but to return to him.”

“Will you tell me about it?”

“Are you sure you want to know? We are talking about your death.”

“Maybe I can learn from the mistakes I made.”

Regina laughed. “I don’t think you will be given the opportunity to make the same mistake in this world.” She sighed. “Your father died saving us from Pan. He was too late however. Pan had already cast the dark curse. The only way to prevent us from succumbing to it was for us to return to the Enchanted Forest.” Neal grimaced. “Henry wasn’t conceived there so the spell wouldn’t take him with us. I enchanted him and Emma and sent them away with new memories of a life together.” Neal’s frown deepened as he imagined the two of them alone in the world.

“From what Belle told us, the two of you learned of a way to resurrect Rumplestiltskin. You thought he would be able to return you here so you could find Emma and Henry. You forgot the cost of magic.”

“A life for a life.” He looked mildly ill at the thought.

“Yes. Your father absorbed you into his body so you survived for a time. You managed to get a memory potion to Emma that returned them to us when we got back to Storybrooke.”

“How did you manage that?”

“The Charmings. My sister attacked us as soon as we arrived. Yes. I have… had a sister. The only way to defeat her was with the purest of light magic.”

“Emma.”

Regina laughed. “Me actually, but we didn’t know. Charming gave up his heart for a new curse.”

“He died as well?”

“No. I split Snow’s heart and now they truly share a heart.”

Neal’s eyes bulged. “That’s some freaky shit.”

“You have no idea.”

“Your world is one messed up place. So how did I die if I was inside my father.” He scrunched up his face. “That just sounds wrong.”

“Sharing a mind with you drove your father insane. Emma eventually removed you at your behest, but you perished as a result.”

“Did I get to say goodbye to her and Henry?”

Regina looked down at her hands. “Just Emma. Henry didn’t know who you were. There was only one memory potion. We told him after and he eventually got his memories back. He misses you.”

Neal looked away and poured them a new round. 

“Of all people, I forgot magic had a price?”

“Desperation does funny things to people.”

“It does,” he said, holding out her glass.

She took the offered shot and they shared a smile. It felt like she had a co-conspirator for once, someone that knew about bad choices and trying. 

“To desperate souls,” he said, holding his shot glass out to hers.

She lifted hers and tapped it against his. She could see why Emma had fallen for this man. She wished she had a chance to get to know him in her own world. His eyes held so much understanding. He saw right through her. She wondered how long it took him to wiggle his way into her heart. It couldn’t have taken long. They held each other’s eyes as they tossed back their tequila. 

The liquor made the edges fuzzy and she could only imagine Snow’s face when she found her drunk and unapologetically hanging out with Emma’s ex as he mumbled about limes.

Neal leaned back into the soft couch. “I dated Emma before you two got together.”

“Oh?”

“You were so jealous.”

“Because of Henry or Miss Swan?”

“I asked myself that a lot,” he said, tilting his head and grinning at her. “I think both.” He shook his head. “What I wouldn’t give to have the two of you in the same room.”

“What happened with you and her?”

“We missed our chance.”

Regina stared at the little shot glass in her hand before placing it on the table. She didn’t recognize it and decided it must have been a new Emma addition. “You know Tinkerbell?” she asked, looking up.

“Yeah. We work together,” he said, carefully. She wondered if he already knew what she was going to tell him. He folded under her stare. “I know you, Regina. I can’t help that. Is Robin the pixie dust soul mate?”

She grabbed the bottle and poured a shot. He held out his glass and she filled it. They threw back their shots.

“He was,” she said as the burn started to fade. She shook her head. “He is.”

Neal reached out and placed his hand over the one she had resting on the couch. She couldn’t help the flinch. So few people touched her. He seemed to expect it and there was no judgment in his eyes. She let his hand rest on hers.

She looked down. “I’m losing my chance to keep him.”

“People aren’t possessions. If he is the one, he will be waiting for you when you get home.”

“If he is the one, doesn’t that mean he’s going to show up here and ruin this?” she asked, gesturing around at the woefully different house.

He let out a deep breath. “I don’t know the answer to that. I just know you love her here,” he said. “Snow once told me that once you love it consumes your whole heart.”

She let out a breath that sounded like a sob. “How do I stop that?”

He shuffled closer to her on the couch without releasing her hand. “You don’t want to. Trust me.”

“I don’t even know you,” she said, taking the deep breaths that she learnt as a child to calm herself.

“But you know Henry and luckily he inherited all of his best qualities from me,” he said. She rolled her eyes, but felt herself offer him a timid smile. He squeezed her hand and her eyes drifted down to their hands.

She sniffed, but continued smiling. “I did wonder how he came from someone so uncouth.”

He laughed. “Well, you did most of the hard work. Thank you for that by the way.”

“Of course. I love him.” Her face fell as she thought about Robin and she took her hand back and reached for her shot glass and the alcohol. She filled them and passed him his glass. 

He shot it back. “Love sucks. Don’t get me wrong, but we’ve got you this time. You aren’t alone here, Regina. You don’t know the lengths we would go to to help you.”

“Because I look like her.”

“No. You are her,” Neal said, staring into her eyes. “You may not have the same experiences, but you are Regina. I know you. I know you so well. It hasn’t always been easy for us, but we got there. You are in a world years ahead of your own.”

“And when I go back?”

“Emma will be there. She fucked up. You know she’s going to be all over you to make it better. She cares a lot about you,” he said.

Regina narrowed her eyes at him. “You’re just like Henry. You think I’m going to end up with her in my world.”

Neal shrugged. “I’ve seen how you love each other. It’s real and true. You get each other. To be honest, anyone is better than Hook. I don’t know if I could stand losing the mother of my son and my own mother to the same man.”

“She told you she is with him?”

“Yeah. He did try here.”

“He gave up his ship for her.”

“Not here.” Neal sighed. “Did you know I gave her that yellow bug she drives around? We pretty much lived in that thing for awhile.”

“I figured it was stolen.”

He grinned. “It was, but I got legit papers for it and signed it over to her,” he said.

“You gave her your home.”

“At the time… yes.”

“No wonder she fell into Hook’s lap. Apparently being homeless does it for her.”

“Well, you didn’t exactly sound like you make yourself available.”

“I have a soul mate,” she stated grumpily.

“Before that. I remember Neverland. I let myself be baited by Hook while the two of you were focusing on the important thing, Henry. Did she tell you that your lessons saved us? I asked her how and the first word out her mouth was ‘Regina’.”

Regina studied her hands. “What does that matter?”

“You’ve always been stronger together.” He shrugged. “As time passed, you both realized it. I think you could in your world too, now that this soul mate is out of the way.”

Regina frowned. “He’s not out of the way. He still exists.”

Neal poured them another round. “Poor choice of words. Sorry. Maybe it was fate.”

“Just like Henry,” she said, shaking her head. “Fuck fate.”


	6. Chapter 6

When Regina arrived at her office the next day, a six pack of root beer sat on her desk with a note attached. She let out a sigh as she plucked the envelope from amongst the bottles. It was obvious who left it. She wondered how many of her secrets and quirks had been revealed to Emma over the last few weeks. 

They couldn’t just pretend they didn’t know things about each other and she didn’t fault her for using them to reach out. She had a acquired her own intel about Emma’s interests. It had been hard not to learn about the other woman while living with her. 

She tossed the letter aside and picked up a root beer. It was early, but with a tap of finger, she popped off the cap off and she took a sip. Still cold. She took her seat behind her desk with a heavy sigh. The gesture said that Emma wasn’t mad at her for what she said and she hated the relief she felt at that.

All the words that had burst out of her in anger weren’t entirely untrue. She felt like more of an idea to Emma than a reality. It would have been much simpler for them now if they had been able to learn as they went. Why did everything have to be so complicated? Maybe when this world calmed down and stopped treating them like shit, they would have gotten there. 

The name World Without Happy Endings really did fit. The only place that really suffered because of the miscast spell was this one. The other Regina left their relationship hidden and allowed Emma to wonder about their interactions. She let Emma fall for the love in her eyes and now they were all suffering for it.

In the other world, she knew from the start and instead of falling for the other Emma, she spent her time wondering what it would be like to have her Emma love her. She’d liked the way the other Emma treated her. She’d needed it at the time, but it hadn’t felt right because she knew. She saw how much Emma missed her partner. She wanted that, but it needed to be real and earned. She wanted her own story.

Her own peace offering, a bear claw from Granny’s, had been deposited on the Sheriff’s desk before she came in. She’d watched the other one devour them nearly every day. As much as she said she didn’t want Emma yesterday, there was still a part of her that didn’t want to lose her. Whether as a friend, family member or more, she didn’t know anymore. 

Ever since their conversation, she’d felt a mixture of guilt and anger over the whole mess. She agonized over each slight she had thrown at Emma. She hadn’t wanted their first real conversation to turn into a fight, but it had been too soon and the wound still fresh. She needed time to sort out her feelings before she’d be able to be civil.

She eyed the note cautiously before finally tearing it open and sliding the single sheet of paper out. She hadn’t let a note. She didn’t know what to say.

Regina,

I apologize if this feels like I’m pushing again. That’s not what this is. I shouldn’t have pushed when you asked me to give you space. It was wrong of me. I’ll back off. 

Just know I’m here if you need me or just want to talk.

I realize that’s probably not going to happen, but I want you to know I’m trying to do better. Be better. I might even go see Archie hah. I’m going for myself if I do go. I promise I’m not trying to make myself look better by telling you this. 

Anyway. I’m sorry.

Emma

Regina sat back in her chair. 

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

After seeing all the improvements made to Main Street in the other world, she walked down it with a more careful eye. A few days had passed and she felt like she was finding her footing again. It had felt like cheating, but she pored over the official documents of the other world and mined them for ideas she could steal and now she was ready to start implementing them.

Technically, they had been her ideas to start with so it wasn’t really stealing. Honestly, she had been surprised to find she’d been reelected, but now that she was back in the right world she saw how easy it was to influence the town when her goals were to better their living situations. She didn’t have to organize them to defeat a big bad so her leadership was less in question.

A familiar voice called her name just before she reached the gate outside Granny’s. She turned slowly. She’d been putting this conversation off just as much if not more than other ones she needed to have.

“Robin,” she said a little breathlessly as he approached.

“Hello, Regina. Can I have a moment? I want to talk.”

“I was just going to get lunch. Would you like to join me?”

Robin pressed his lips together for a moment. “I suppose that would work.”

Heads turned as they entered and she knew the gossip mill would have a lot to say about their lunch. Robin sat in front of her and she could feel him drinking in the sight of her while she did the same. It didn’t surprise her to find she still loved him, but she was ready for this conversation. 

“I’ve missed you,” she said, tearing up a napkin. 

“And I, you,” Robin said, looking down at the cheap diner table. “She wasn’t you.”

“That’s what I keep hearing,” Regina said.

“She was very kind, but she didn’t know me.”

“It was a very different world over there. You never made it over.”

“She said.”

Regina looked down. “You are back with Marian.”

“I am. I’m sorry Regina. She was my wife.”

“And I was gone.”

“It wasn’t like that,” he said, with a sigh. 

She shook her head. “I know. I’m sorry. She is your wife.”

“What we had was real. My feelings for you were — are real. But Marian is my wife. I loved her and I made a vow, ‘until death do us part,’ and it did and then it didn’t.” His face scrunched in his confusion. “But my vow remains.”

“So, you made your choice,” she said, looking away. She knew it was coming, but it still hurt. 

“I may be a thief, but I have a code and I have to live by that code. Otherwise, what kind of life am I living? I hope you can look into your heart and understand.”

“I do understand,” Regina said.

“Do you really? Because I still miss you every single day,” he said.

“I miss you too, but…” She read the conflict on his features.

“But?” 

“I knew you would pick her.” 

“But we are soulmates,” he said.

“Soulmates don’t have to be lovers.”

He nodded thoughtfully. “She said that too.”

They fell into an awkward silence. She didn’t know what to say to to him. She wanted to make him feel better about this whole mess. She didn’t blame him for his choice even if it felt unfair to all of them, especially Marian. She had been in a marriage to a man that loved some else and as much as she hated the idea she hoped he could find his love for her again. Otherwise what would be the point of all this suffering?

She wanted to ask him if he loved his wife. He said his feelings for her had been real, but had it been love like it was for her? She didn’t think she wanted to know the answer to that. It would only make things more painful. Hearing it had been as real for him as it was for her helped. Her self doubt had crept up on her occasionally over the last few weeks. How could it not? 

She hadn’t understood why he felt drawn to her beyond the fact they were soulmates. She had been horrible to him over the missing year even if she did try to fix it after with expensive gifts. She couldn’t remember a single time that year that she had been nice to his face except when Roland was around. Everyone in the other world had reason to like her and treat her with kindness.

Ruby brought over the food and gave her shoulder a quick squeeze. They started eating and she picked at her salad absently.

“I appreciate that you understand. I can’t imagine how you feel about all of this,” he finally said`.

“I can’t imagine how Marian feels about all of this,” she replied. It had taken her a long time to allow herself to think about the other woman in the situation, but on those lonely nights stranded in the other world eventually she stopped being selfish and stopped wanting to kill the woman even though the word monster floated in her head often. Henry and Emma didn’t let it for too long, but nights were hard.

“Marian is… coping. It was hard for all of us to be dumped in this unfamiliar land, but add all the time she missed… It’s hard. Mr. Hopper is running a group that she attends. She says it helps. The other you helped us get set up in an apartment. We are settling in. Roland is getting to know his mother.”

“I’m glad.”

“Do you think if you stayed, things would have been different?” he asked, picking up his sandwich and avoiding her eyes.

“I don’t know. Since my trip, I’ve been trying to avoid what ifs,” she said, as she took a small bite of her salad. 

“I stayed up all night after she returned trying to understand my feelings. I just want to do the right thing.”

“You are a good man, Robin.”

They moved onto small talk about the town. Robin assured her that Roland hadn’t forgotten her even though they only had a short time together. Regina pondered the flying monkey she had turned into a stuffed toy for the boy and wondered if it had turned back into a person again. The chance that it was now a plush person disturbed her. Thankfully, she didn’t think it made the transition over with the curse.

They finished their meal and it felt like closure. He reached for the check to her surprise and he reminded her of the job he’d mentioned as Archery teacher at the high school. 

Overall, Regina felt comfortable. Her imagination had their conversation going so many different ways, but this had been more satisfying than she had thought it would. The way Robin validated their relationship and didn’t treat it dismissively helped heal a part of her that feared it had all been a pixie dust deluded fantasy. 

Robin played with the receipt for minute before he ran his hand through his hair. As she watched him, she remembered thinking that in comparison to the world of the other Regina and Emma, this world should be called the World of Unhappy Endings. From the sight of Robin’s mannerisms that would still hold true and she braced herself. “Regina, there was another reason I needed to talk to you.”

Regina took a deep breath. Robin licked his lips before pressing them together. He took his own deep breath before finally saying, “Marian is pregnant.”

She closed her eyes and tilted her head back. She blinked rapidly to prevent the worse from happening. She couldn’t cry. Not in front of him. Not now. It hurt worse than she thought it would. Babies for everyone apparently. Except for her. She didn’t even want another child, but it stung. How long had he waited before he moved on entirely?

The pregnancy solidified what she had known since the other world. It was over. It had been over as soon as Robin saw Marian in the diner.

“Okay,” she stuttered out. “I’m going to go.” She stood up.

“Regina, wait.”

She shook her head hopelessly and left the diner with her head held high. Thankfully, he didn’t give chase, but Ruby did. She poofed away before she had a chance to say a word.

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

A DIFFERENT WORLD…

 

Snow entered the dark mansion carefully. The late afternoon sun peaked from behind the curtains, but it still felt oddly foreboding. Over the years, she had grown comfortable being in this house, but now she felt uneasy. She smiled at a family photo Regina and Emma kept right at the entrance. She contemplated yelling for Regina, but mindful of Emma’s warning of Regina’s hangover decided a nice cup of tea might earn her a better welcome. 

They had been still working toward a tentative friendship after Neverland and she didn’t know where their relationship stood now in that other world. Emma had been reluctant to send her over, but neither wanted Regina to suffer alone. 

She had just started for the kitchen when she heard a loud laugh from the study. Her brow furrowed as she made her way to the door. 

“Oh, please! Like you have a monopoly on shitty parents!” Neal’s voice rang clear through the door. She heard Regina laugh again. She shook her head. She should have known. 

Snow pushed the door opened with all the gravitas of a mother catching her children in the middle of something they weren’t supposed to be doing. 

“Ah! The step-daughter of the Evil Queen! You are just in time. We were just getting to talking about the atrocities our parents committed,” Neal announced. Regina let out an uncharacteristic snort and fell against his shoulder. 

“She has a lot of stories. Tell him about the dust you procured to turn me into an insect.”

“What?” Snow asked, shocked. “You knew about that?”

“You did try and use it on me,” Regina slurred, “then I burned you at the stake!

Snow’s eyes widened. “What? That never happened!”

Regina looked as thoughtful as she could. She looked up at her from Neal’s shoulder. “Huh. Emma must have changed that when she time traveled.”

“What?”

“Time travel. Keep up,” Regina said, waving her hand, nearly smacking Neal in the face. Snow collapsed onto an armchair and Regina squinted at her. “It’s weird seeing you without all the baby weight.” Regina snorted again and tilted her head to look at Neal. “Weirder seeing you given as how you are dead.” Neal laughed.

Snow shot Neal a dirty look. “I can’t believe you thought getting her drunk was a good idea.”

 

*******

 

Snow White plied her with water and tea and had Tiana come escort him home. After a nap, she felt a little more like herself. Henry and Emma had returned home and she felt mildly ashamed by her behavior. At least Henry hadn’t seen her wasted and rambling.

Charming and Daniel showed up at dinner time with takeout from Granny’s. The boy looked absolutely delighted to see her. She saw David squeeze his shoulder in warning as he greeted her, but getting a five year old to understand dimension travel wasn’t an easy task. He stuck out his hand and she shook it.

“Your hair is different. It’s still beautiful,” he said.

“Thank you, dear,” she replied, releasing his hand. He grinned up at her and she smiled at him.

At dinner, Henry took his usual spot beside her and little Daniel planted himself on her other side. The chubby little boy looked fit to burst with things to tell her, but he held himself back until she decided to indulge him. Given the opportunity, he rambled on about things she knew little about. It helped keep her calm even if she still had a lingering headache. He reminded her of Henry.

After they ate, her nearly grown son stole the boy away with promises of games and stories. Everyone cleared the table like they had done it hundreds of times before. She assumed they had. She offered coffee, but Snow shooed her off and told her she would take care of it. So she returned to the table and fidgeted with the tablecloth until Emma sat next to her. 

“Sorry if my mom’s driving you crazy.”

“She’s fine.”

“I heard Neal kept you company today. I bet that was weird.”

“Yes.”

“Are you okay?” Emma asked and Regina frowned. “Yeah that’s a stupid question,” Emma said, with a sigh. “I just care, you know? I want to help.”

“I know.”

“My parents want to talk about what’s going on, but if you want I can send them home and you can go to bed or whatever.”

“It’s fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” Emma said, looking down at her hands. 

The Charmings returned with the coffee and Emma told them everything she knew. Regina appreciated not having to recap everything yet again and only threw in little corrections. 

She moved on to what she’d been doing all day and Regina leaned forward in interest. Emma had consulted Gold and had the girls write up the spell they had attempted to cast. She gave a copy for Regina to look over. It was rudimentary, but it looked possible.

The Daily Mirror had been contacted as well as the Mayor’s office. Snow threw in that she would be happy to help when she could. Substitute teachers were easier to find than substitute mayors. She assured Regina that she remembered how it all worked from her days helping during her maternity leave and Regina reluctantly agreed. She didn’t expect to have to work in this other world, but from the way they were looking at her, she could tell it was just a ploy to keep her active and distracted if this turned into a prolonged stay. 

From what Rumple had told Emma it sounded like it would be up to their world to save the day and she didn’t know if she trusted them to be able to pull it off. He had a wand she could try to use, but he thought it would work best if it was the other Regina wielding it. Of course it would be the other Regina that could save the day, she thought glumly. She could be counted amongst the heroes with ease in this world. 

They agreed that Regina would take the next day off and hike out to the spot with the wand and give it a try. If it didn’t work they would try and recreate the spell. The girls’ parents had reluctantly given their permission.

 

*******

 

After a long day full of frustrations, neither option worked. They returned to the mansion in the derelict old yellow bug, exhausted and frustrated. Emma didn’t say a word, but Regina could feel her disappointment. Both of them wanted this nightmare over with. She had waved that damned wand over and over to no avail. Then she had to supervise four terrified teenagers as they tried to recreate a spell they had no business attempting in the first place. It had all been an effort in futility. 

Regina wanted to rage at the other woman for their failure, but the soft, sad look Emma gave her as they climbed the front steps stilled the words in her mouth. She wasn’t the only one separated from their love. They filed into the house and Emma immediately went to the liquor. She glanced back at her and she nodded.

“We’ll go easy tonight,” Emma said, trying to smile. 

Regina nodded again and they went to her study. As they settled in, quietly sipping their drinks, Emma quietly said, “They’ll try the wand in your world.”

“Eventually.”

Regina caught Emma staring at a picture of the two of them. “You miss her,” she said.

“Of course, I do,” Emma said, taking a swig before meeting her eyes. “I’d gotten used to asking her all these stupid little things. Obviously the big things, too, but I didn’t realize how often I wanted her opinion on things.”

Regina leaned back. “That sounds nice. I bet she likes that.”

“I’m sorry you didn’t get a chance to get there with Robin.”

“Me too,” Regina said, cradling her drink. 

“Before I left, his wife called me a monster.”

Emma frowned. “You aren’t a monster, Regina.”

“But I am,” she said, as Emma shook her head emphatically. “I’m pretty sure I killed her in the original time line or well in this world. I don’t even remember for sure. I’ve killed so many people I can’t even remember them all. I wonder if she’s telling him how he almost lost her for good because of me.”

Emma let out a breath of air. “If he fell in love with you knowing you were once the Evil Queen, I’m sure he’ll get over it. I did.”

Regina studied her hands. “He’ll still pick her.”

“Maybe he will, but if you are as important to him as you should be, he will forgive you and see passed who you once were,” she said, reaching for Regina’s hand. “You aren’t that person anymore.”

“That’s easy for you to say. Honestly, I don’t know what I would have done if I had stayed in that world.”

“Do you think you would have hurt his wife? Or me?” Emma asked, carefully.

“Not you,” Regina replied, morosely. She looked away. “I don’t think I would have gone through with hurting her. There are too many people in my life that I stood to lose if it went wrong, but I would have at least figured out a way to do it.”

“That doesn’t make you a monster. It makes you human.”

“Murder is human?” Regina asked.

“Contemplating it is. You don’t see a lot of animals doing it.” Emma pursed her lips. “Though Scar and those hyenas…”

“The Lion King has yet to appear in my Storybrooke.”

“Oh, good. With your world, you never know. Those hyenas creeped me out,” Emma said with a shudder. Regina rolled her eyes, but Emma spotted the corner of her mouth twitching in a smile.

“Look. I know we said you should get back into the mayor-ing, but why don’t you keep Henry out of school tomorrow and just, you know, take the day. You could use a reminder.”

“Of what?”

“Why you started to change in the first place,” Emma said, squeezing her hand. 

Regina squeezed back and nodded. Somehow this Emma knew exactly what she needed. Maybe it was the years of experience she clearly had in dealing with her issues, but she liked that Emma cared enough to learn.

“That sounds like a good plan,” she said, with a small smile.

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

Regina knocked on the door with quick raps. Her hand fell to her side as she stared at the unfamiliar door with unease. Her feet carried her back a few steps and after a few seconds almost carried her down the stairs and away from the woman she only felt half prepared for. 

She wanted to see the face that had offered her so much comfort when she needed it most. The face she’d grown to care about. She knew she shouldn’t be here. It was too soon. She was too confused, too hurt. She wasn’t ready.

The door swung open and Emma appeared looking confused. 

“Regina?”

Without thinking, she moved forward and her hands took a fistful of Emma’s baseball t-shirt and pulled her forward. She looked into Emma’s eyes for a moment before pressing forward and claiming Emma’s lips. Emma’s shock barely lasted a second before she was grasping at Regina’s blouse and kissing back.

It only lasted but a moment before Regina pulled away and stared at Emma. Emma could see the lust and desire in Regina’s eyes and launched herself forward again, eager to continue regardless of the doubt she also saw. 

Their lips met again, but Regina felt sudden panic rise in her gut. Suddenly she was back in the woods with Robin, doing the same thing. This was exactly like Robin. She had rushed into kissing him and when she pulled back he had pushed forward. That thought killed all of the desire that had been driving her bad decisions. She had come here to forget about him and now… She shoved Emma back, her eyes wide in horror. 

“I can’t. This means nothing. It meant nothing.’

“Nothing? Really? You felt nothing?” Emma asked, her eyes pleading.

“Nothing.” Regina smoothed her clothes down and avoided meeting her eyes.

Emma stared at her for a long second. “You’re scared.”

Regina sneered. “I’m disgusted. I let myself give into a moment of weakness.”

“Love isn’t weakness,” Emma said.

“Love may not be, but lust is.”

“So you lust for me?” Emma asked, reaching slowly for Regina. 

“Are you really this stupid?” she asked, moving away from Emma’s hand. She shook her head and disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke.

Emma’s fingers dragged across her lips. She could still feel the ghost of Regina’s lips on hers, her fingers but a sad facsimile. She licked her lips and tasted the lipstick Regina had left behind.

She leaned against the door frame lazily still dazed from the kisses. She’d been rejected so many times in her life what was another one under her belt. She let her head fall back against the door. Regina only rejected her because she rejected her first. Yes, she’d chosen Regina, but she chose the wrong one so did it really count? Probably not. She knew it was too soon and as much as she hated that Regina ran she found she didn’t hold it against her. 

Neither of them had ever been good enough for the people in their lives. Neverland and her mother’s secret came to mind and she remembered what Snow told her Cora’s last words had been with a frown. “You would have been enough.” Robin and Marian. Emma had proved to her yet again she wasn’t enough. 

Eventually, she pushed off the door and went back into her apartment, pulling a beer from the fridge and slumping onto her couch. Regina had kissed her. The real Regina. Her Regina. It felt better than she had imagined and it mattered more to her than she would have ever believed. 

As much as she enjoyed it, she wished Regina had talked to her instead of kissing her. Something must have happened. Something had brought Regina to her door and she couldn’t imagine it was anything good.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late. My brother died.

The next morning, Emma went directly to the Sheriff’s station and turned on the coffee maker. The station had plenty of things to distract. Being productive seemed like a good idea. She’d always done better with something to occupy her time. It was why she’d spent her birthday chasing a skip all that time ago.

After Regina left the night before, she fought her inclination to overanalyze it. She didn’t know what brought her to her door and Regina’s hasty retreat told her she might have to wait on understanding. She knew they’d have to talk about it all sooner or later, but this time she wouldn’t push. That had been a mistake. 

After an extensive interview, she’d settled on Sebastian as her new deputy. He had just the right temperament for the job and she thought she might actually enjoy his company. The other Regina had insisted on a firearm safety course for new deputy. 

Graham had never forced it on her because of her license to carry in Massachusetts. She’d never even bothered to get one in Maine. She should probably get on that if they were actually setting up a legitimate town. Sebastian would need one, too. 

Reading over the material for the test made her realize how dangerous her father had been with a firearm. He’d been pointing it all over the place without due cause. To be far, in Storybrooke, you never knew when a flesh eating monster or something would be the one to attack you, but how often had innocent bystanders been in the line of fire? 

They’d been lucky so far. This wasn’t fairytale land or whatever they called it and she knew that bystanders were always collateral in gunfights. She’d have to talk to Sebastian about that when giving him the test. Maybe she could research how the army handled hostile territory and add it to the manual.

She called Sebastian and told him to come in sometime after lunch so they could start getting him integrated. She cleaned up a space for him and pulled out all the proper forms for him to fill out. She even printed out a license to carry for him and slipped it in toward the end. It felt good to be doing something normal for a change. She could see why the other Regina had jumped right into it when she got there.

She was just filling out her own form at her desk, when she heard familiar heels clicking on the tile of the station. Regina could be silent if she wanted so Emma assumed the noise was meant to warn her of her approach. After the night before, she didn’t know what to expect. Regina initiating contact so soon set her a little on edge, but she wanted to believe it was a good thing. 

She leaned against the door frame to her office as Regina entered and offered a tentative smile. Regina had her mayoral armor on, but Emma could still see a touch of vulnerability in her eyes.

“Miss Swan.”

“Regina,” she said, with a nod.

Regina glanced around the newly reorganized office. “I came to apologize for last night. It was inappropriate.”

Emma tucked her hands into her pockets and stepped out of the doorway. “It’s okay.” 

“It’s not. I gave into a moment of weakness and I prayed on your attraction to me.”

Emma shook her head. “You didn’t.”

“I did,” Regina stated.

Emma just shrugged. “If you say so. Can I ask why? What happened?” 

Regina wrapped herself in her arms and looked away. “I’d rather not get in to that right now. Just know that it won’t happen again.”

“Okay. If you change your mind …”

Regina nodded and fiddled with something on the desk, avoiding her eyes. “Would you like to have dinner with Henry and me. Tonight. As an apology. Not…”

“As a romantic overture? I get it. I do.”

“I can’t…”

“I know. Baby steps.” Regina shot her a wry look and she held up her hands. “Toward friendship!”

Regina sighed. “Toward a cooperative co-parenting situation. Henry told you how he wants to stay at the mansion during the week and at your apartment during the weekends?”

“Yeah. He called me.”

“I’m to understand it’s less than what you had before.”

“It is, but I get it.”

“I was thinking maybe weekly dinners would be beneficial eventually. They would give you more time together and since I’ve heard you hired a deputy, maybe you could pick him up on some school nights and grab a snack together?”

Emma smiled. “That sounds great. I heard weekly family dinners were a thing in the other world back.”

“I heard that, too.”

“From Neal?”

“Yes.” Regina looked away. “I put some flowers on his grave the other day.”

“I’m sure he would appreciate that.”

“Hmm, I wonder,” Regina said.

“Will you ever tell me what it was like?” Emma asked, watching Regina’s lips turn down. “You said I didn’t understand,” she said, shrugging her shoulders. “I’d like to if you’ll let me.”

Regina nodded. “Thank you for the root beer.”

“Thanks for the bear claw,” Emma said.

“6:30 sharp.”

“Got it.”

“Be on time.”

 

SQSQSQSQSQSQ

 

She was on time. 

Over the years, she’d stood at this door many times. Too often when she was about to accuse Regina of something and as she raised her hand to knock the old adrenaline rushed through her body. Since the other Regina, she’d gotten used being here on friendly terms, but old habits die hard and her nerves already felt shot.

This dinner wasn’t going to be like the ones she shared with the other Regina and she knew it, but there was a part of her that hoped that it would be at least a little. She couldn’t take another round with Regina. Not so soon after the last one and after that kiss. She hoped the kiss and Regina’s apology would be a turning point toward something better between them, a step toward healing.

Regina greeted her at the door, with a blank look on her face. Regina informed her that dinner would be ready in ten minutes and that Henry had set up their game down in the basement. If not for the look on Regina’s face, the reminder of the game she’d been playing with Henry would have put her more at ease.

Rumors had been rampant that afternoon at Granny’s. She’d just missed Regina for lunch and apparently the gossip mill had started churning as soon as she’d left. Ruby reluctantly told her about Marian and Emma knew it had to be the catalyst that brought Regina to her apartment. 

Before Regina could turn back to the kitchen, Emma placed her hand on her bicep. “I heard… about Marian. I’m sorry. I assume that’s why you um… came over yesterday.”

Regina looked away, but didn’t flinch under her hand. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay, but if you do, I’m here.”

“Yes, well, Henry’s waiting.”

“Okay,” Emma said, letting Regina pull away and return to the kitchen.

When Regina finally called them up, dinner had already been set out on the table. Emma sat in the chair she’d come to think of as her own. It almost didn’t feel right to think that anymore now that the rightful Regina had returned. She hoped that it could come to be her chair again.

They kept the conversation focused on Henry and school until he got sick of their inquiries. Emma talked about Sebastian and the changes she’d been making at the Sheriff’s station. Emma noticed the small smile creeping up on Regina’s face.

“Do you know Sebastian?” 

“Yes.” She took a measured bite. before continuing. “Not here, but he treated me well over there. He is a very kind man and a good deputy. I’m glad he’s going to be working for you here.”

“Mom wanted Hook to be Deputy,” Henry added helpfully.

Regina rolled her eyes. “Why am I not surprise?”

Emma groaned and rubbed her face. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“To put a pirate in law enforcement?”

“Hey, I used to be a thief, too. I got a second chance and he deserved one, too. I thought it would help him to do something good for the townspeople.”

“Well, I’m glad you came to your senses,” Regina said, before taking a careful bite. 

“Yeah, you kind of forced me to. You even got Ruby in on it,” Emma retorted, grumpy but still pleased by Regina’s smirk.

“Have you seen him lately?” Henry asked, taking a bite.

“Hook?”

“Yeah. He used to be attached to your hip like everyday.”

“You know we broke up,” Emma said, taking a measured bite.

“Yeah, but so now you aren’t even his friend?” He glanced up at her with a look that said that this was about more than just Hook.

“It’s complicated.”

“So you always say.” He rolled his eyes. “When relationships end do all of the good feelings you had for that person just go away?”

“No, they don’t,” Regina offered, “But sometimes it’s hard right away to be friends. It hurts too much to remember what you once had.” Emma caught the flicker of pain in her eyes.

“Your mother is right. I still care about him and maybe later we can be friends, but right now I can’t. He still wants a relationship with me and it hurts him to know I don’t.”

“What’s bringing this on?” Regina asked.

“Nothing.” Henry shrugged and looked down at his food.

They shot each other a look over his head and waited. When he looked up, both of them were watching him with their best mom looks. 

He rolled his eyes. “Fine. It’s just…” and he launched into the amazing preteen drama that had been unfolding around him. His friends had started dipping their toes into the dating realm with all the understanding of the children they still were. Two of them had a weeklong affair and now were forcing him to choose between them.

They talked him through it over the rest of dinner. Eventually, they finished and Henry ran upstairs. Emma awkwardly hovered, tucking her hands in her pockets.

“Looks like we are getting this co-parenting thing down.”

“Perhaps.”

Emma leaned forward. “This is usually when you ask me if I want a drink.”

“I think you are mistaking me for someone else,” Regina said with a sigh.

Emma bit her lip. “I guess that’s fair,” she said, rocking back on her heel.

“You should go.”

“Okay.” Emma nodded and made her way to the door.

Regina followed. “Tonight wasn’t terrible,” Regina said quietly.

Emma smiled with a soft look back at the former Queen. “No. It wasn’t.”

“Have a good night. Henry will be ready for you in the morning. Do you want to take him for breakfast?”

Emma thought about the breakfasts she’d been lucky enough to crash at 108 Mifflin. She didn’t want to keep Henry from that or Regina for that matter. She’d kept them apart enough.

“I’ll get him after. Thanks.” Regina nodded and Emma made her escape, pleased with the progress they’d made.

 

SQSQSQSQSQSQ

 

The next afternoon, after lazing about for most of the morning, Emma sent Henry over to Granny’s for their lunch. They had plans to head over to the park after. Some of his friends had started playing soccer and she thought he might be into it. She said she’d kick around a ball with him and see how it felt. 

He’d be starting high school next year and she thought it would be nice for him to play on a team. None of her foster parents had thought to get her involved in any sports and then she was out on her own. She didn’t want him to grow up as isolated as she had. 

Henry burst back into her apartment empty-handed, looking as if he had run the whole way home. Emma sat up in alarm. 

He turned an angry glare on her. “Is it true?” he demanded, gripping the edge of her couch.

“Is what true?” she asked, getting up.

“That you had the wand all along and you kept mom in that other world on purpose.”

Emma blinked. “Oh.”

“Oh? Is that all you have to say for yourself?”

“First off, you do not get to speak to me that way.”

“Why not? Apparently you are more a villain at this point than a hero. Was it Hook’s influence?”

“Henry!”

“Is this why she’s mad at you?”

Emma looked away. “Yeah.”

“Good. At least you owned up to it, but I bet the other Regina made you do it.” He shook his head and she could see tear streaks on his face as he glared at her. His loss of faith in her hurt, but he wasn’t wrong and she had no response. She reached for his shoulder, but he shrugged her off. 

“Why would you do that to us? You knew how much I missed her.”

“Henry. It’s…”

“If you try to tell me it’s complicated I will never forgive you.”

“I’m sorry. I thought it was the right thing.”

His eyes narrowed. “No you didn’t,” he snapped. “You keep doing these things. Trying to take me back to New York, dating Hook, yelling at me. I just don’t understand. What is wrong with you?”

“I…” Words that would somehow make everything better just wouldn’t come. She wanted to hug him and make it all better like she used to do. She could tell it wouldn’t work now and she ached.

Henry sniffed and rubbed his nose with his sleeve. “Whatever. I’m going home.”

“You are home,” Emma said.

“No. I’m not.”

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

A DIFFERENT WORLD…

 

When Henry heard that they were ditching work and school, he ran out of the house and returned with a basket of chocolate, red wine and sandwiches for their day. She and Emma bit their lips in amusement as they sorted through the goodies.

“I googled getting over breakup. It didn’t talk about your boyfriend’s wife time-traveling back from the past, but close enough,” he said with a shrug.

“And the fact your favorite candy bars are in here?” Emma asked, holding up an Apollo bar.

“Total coincidence,” he said, slinging his arms over his mother’s shoulders. 

“Thank you, Henry,” Regina said, warmly as she squeezed his shoulder gratefully and leaned into him. 

They decided to start at the stables. This Henry had been taking horse-back lessons for years and he immediately took advantage of her lack of practice. He took off across the field on his horse with a happy laugh just as she was swinging onto the horse he said was hers. She shook her head and pat her horse’s flank. The pleased neigh from her horse sounded like music to her ears after so long. Emma had been right. This was just what she needed.

She gave chase. The wind whipped her hair back. She’d let her hair grow longer than she had in years. It hadn’t felt right before, but now it had reached her shoulders. The sun beat on her skin. She almost couldn’t remember why she hadn’t done this more frequently. It brought back the good memories of her childhood when she actually felt free. The stable had of course brought back memories of Daniel. For once, they didn’t hurt quite so bad. Not with Henry beside her. 

She caught up with him towards the top of a hill. They slowed at the peak and stared down at their quiet little town. She wondered if her Storybrooke would ever be as peaceful.

“Do you think my grandfather help my mother?”

“I hope so,” she said, head up ,soaking in the sun.

“Are you going to tell little Henry about all of this?”

“Parts of it. I don’t want this to influence his decisions. I don’t want him to believe he has to do something because he thinks it’s fate.”

“He’s going to be curious. Poor mom. I wonder what she told him.”

“I wonder that as well.”

“Worried she told him about you and mom?”

“More about your father,” she replied despondently. 

“Oh. That would be hard. Having him dead and knowing he’s alive in another world …”

“Exactly. It’s why I can’t trust your grandfather 100%. ”

“I bet you little Henry figures out you and mom,” he said, sitting back in the saddle with a grown version of his old mischievous smile.

“It’s not like you could collect if you win,” she pointed out.

“But he could. Hmm… what did I always want when I was twelve?”

“That you didn’t buy with my credit cards?”

Henry snorted. “Emma put a stop to that when she found out. I thought I was being clever.”

“There are such things as bank statements.”

“I know that now.” He laughed and it brought a smile to her face. “I think what I most wanted when I was twelve was my family to be happy. Would it be so bad if he knew?” 

Regina raised an eyebrow at him. “Okay, yeah probably. Operation Savior Queen?” he said, smiling, but Regina frowned. “Too obvious?” he asked.

“No. Well, yes. I just think I prefer Operation Swan Queen, but that’s just as obvious I think.”

“That has a nice ring to it.”

“What did you call it?”

“Who me?” he asked, innocently.

“Yes, you.”

He flushed. “Savior Queen, but I blame Dad for that. I thought it was too obvious.”

“How many of you did it take to push us together?” she asked.

“Ah, you guys figured it out on your own,” he said with a shrug. “All we did was get dad together with Tiana and that was mostly because of you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” He sat back in his saddle. “Why are you even bothering to go to work at all if you might be swept away at any minute?”

“Everyone thinks it’s a good idea. They are trying to distract me.”

“I could distract you. I say we play hooky until you go back.”

“You have school.”

“Yeah, but you are more important.”

“They’ll kick you off that soccer team of yours if you missed too much school.”

He frowned at that. “You’re on the school board. I bet you could get them to keep me.”

“If I don’t go to the meetings or work, I won’t have much of a say, would I?”

“Bureaucracy sucks.”

Regina chuckled. 

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

Emma called her as soon as Henry left her apartment. She had nearly asked Emma what she had expected, but she could tell Henry had been brutal and she remembered a quiet conversation over wine with the other Emma where she had asked her to be gentle on her during her first real fight with Henry. In this world, Emma had a whole year of parenting Henry under her belt, but she had to wonder if they ever had a fight of this severity. With a bit of reluctance, the other Emma had admitted to Regina that it had hit her harder than she thought it would.

The slamming door and heavy footsteps reminded her of the time when she’d heard them on a daily basis. They had felt like daggers in her chest every time. She let out a sad sigh as she sent a text message to Emma. She told her she’d let her know when to come over to see him. 

When she came out of the kitchen, she found him sitting on the steps. His eyes were red rimmed and sad.

“I take it Emma called you?” he asked, with a sniff. He rubbed at his nose with his sleeve and she reached for the tissues she kept on a table by the door.

“She did,” she said, handing one to him.

He blew his nose loudly and looked up at her. “I can’t believe you are even talking to her.”

Regina smiled and put her hand on his shoulder. “Come on. There’s cocoa ready for you in the kitchen.”

His face wobbled at that and he suddenly burst into tears, wrapping his little arms around her waist. “I could have lost you,” he sobbed into her blouse.

“But you didn’t. I’m right here,” she said, rubbing his back. She repeated the words over and over until eventually his breath evened out and he relaxed against her. She had missed being the one he turned to for comfort.

“I love you,” he mumbled into her shoulder.

“I love you too, my little prince.”

“The cocoa is probably cold.”

“I can heat it up.”

“Okay,” he said as he nodded into her chest.

She squeezed him tight then pulled away slowly. His arms released her and he wiped at his face. She handed him another tissue and tossed an arm over his shoulder. “Come on. It’ll make you feel better.”

“Okay.” 

She led him into the kitchen and pushed him gently onto a stool. He put his elbows up on the counter and rested his head in his hands. 

“Why are you talking to her?”

“For you,” she said, ruffling his hair before heading to the stove to reheat the cocoa. “And for myself. I’m trying to be a better person than I was. To do that I need to learn to let go of my grudges. I can’t very well teach you to forgive someone that wrongs you and then not do the same.” 

He nodded thoughtfully as she stirred the mixture. “Forgiving your grandmother turned out to be one of the best things, I’ve ever done.”

“Really?”

“Yes. We’re family now. I wouldn’t trade that for the world.”

“What if Emma never let you come back?”

“I don’t know. But she did. In the end, she did the right thing.”

Henry looked down at the counter. “I don’t understand why she didn’t do it right away. She’s supposed to be the Savior, one of the good guys.”

“She was scared, Henry and she’s only human. Even the good guys make the wrong choice sometimes.”

“Yeah, but usually they make the wrong choices for the right reasons. Being scared isn’t a good enough reason to keep you away.”

Regina filled his mug and sprinkled a bit of cinnamon in before placing it in front of him. He looked down and then back up at her with big, puppy dog eyes. She rolled her eyes and pulled down the bag of tiny marshmallows and handed it over. His smile as he dumped some in came as a relief. He would be okay. She poured herself a small cup and leaned on the opposite side of the counter.

“Henry, I don’t regret the time I had in that other world. I needed time to heal. Everyone there welcomed me and helped me deal with… my problems. I feel more at peace than I ever have. If Emma had brought me back right away… to all the things that were happening…” she paused and she met his eyes, “I don’t think I would have dealt with it well.”

Henry frowned. “I would have helped you.”

“I know you would have,” she said, reaching for his hand. “You did in a way.”

He frowned. “Super rad Henry?”

“I wouldn’t call him that, but he was you so, of course, he was pretty rad.”

“Will you tell me about him?”

“I don’t think that’s the best idea. I don’t want to influence you in any way.”

“The other Regina said that she made a deal with me that when I turned seventeen she let me ask her anything.”

“That sounds reasonable to me. You were seventeen over there. Everything would have already happened,” she said, thinking over the idea. The other Henry had told her about their deal and she had liked the thought. “Maybe then we can figure out which one of you is the raddest Henry,” she said with a smirk at his pout.

“Will you tell me everything? Really?” he asked, looking down at her hand on his.

“I will.”

“But you can’t now?”

“You want a better reason than she was just scared?” she asked.

He nodded as he took his hand back to take a sip of his hot chocolate. Regina sighed. “You need to talk to her.”

“I don’t trust her. What if she lies to me? She was ready to lie to me for the rest of my life by taking me back to New York.”

“She didn’t though.”

“She didn’t have a choice. I got my memory back and I wouldn’t have let her take me.”

“Henry. I’m going to call her and have her come over. We can all talk about this.”

“I don’t want to see her. If she had such a good reason, why won’t you tell me?”

“I never said it was a good reason. You want to understand why she did it. Let her explain.”

“It really wasn’t so bad over there?”

“No. It wasn’t.”

“I’m still sorry you were stuck over there. It could have been horrible.”

“But it wasn’t.”

“Have you forgiven her?”

She looked down at her cocoa. “I’m working on it.”

He nodded. “You can call her.”

“Okay.”

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

After she hung up with Regina the first time, she sat on her couch and stared at the wall. Henry’s reaction had been a surprise even though it shouldn’t have been. It ashamed her to realize that she assumed he’d never find out. She felt unprepared. Blindsided.

Henry had every right to be mad at her. She was mad at herself. 

She didn’t know how to make this right. Battling an evil villain seemed preferable to talking to Henry about her mistake.

He was growing up fast and would see through any bullshit answer she gave him. He’d nearly run back to New York when she had been lying to him. At least that wouldn’t happen now. 

The truth might be for the best, but she couldn’t see Regina wanting Henry to know about their relationship in the other world. She didn’t even know if she wanted him to know. Just a few weeks ago she had been telling him that you need to work toward a happy ending and then she had tried taking the easy road. 

Her phone alerted her to a text and she stared at Regina’s message grimly. She was lucky the other woman hadn’t rubbed the whole mess in her face when she called. When she read the part where she said she’d let her know when to come over almost made her drop her phone. For a long time, she had done everything in her power to undermine Regina’s parenting. It was a sign of how far they’d come that even though Regina was mad at her, she still gave Emma the chance to fix things with Henry. Or maybe it’s just what good parents do. After the first curse broke, she’d been thrust into parenting full time and she’d acted on whims and crossed her fingers she choosing right with Henry. 

Remembering Henry’s armory plans made her wince. She’d encouraged his divide with Regina when she needed him most and now Regina seemed to be doing the opposite. 

She wondered if he’d even want her to come over. He could be so stubborn and Regina wouldn’t force him.

She pushed off the couch and headed down to the bug. She wanted to be ready in case Regina talked him into letting her come over. Maybe not giving your children the opportunity to stew on their problems until after they talked it over was part of being a parent. She had no idea what she would say to him when she got there, but knowing Regina would be there helped for a reason she couldn’t exactly quantify.

The bug had been parked around the corner for around five minutes when she got the text from Regina. She didn't want to appear too eager so she sat in the bug for another minute staring at her dashboard. 

If she thought her nerves were bad going to dinner, this felt like a whole new game. Regina ushered her in and led her to the kitchen where Henry slouched over an empty mug.

She bit her lip and gave him a shy smile. “Hey, kid.”

“Emma,” he said, in acknowledgment, but without looking at her. Regina frowned at his tone, but Emma shrugged at her. She knew she deserved it, but Regina shook her head.

“Henry, just because she did something wrong doesn’t make her less your mother,” Regina said, softly.

“I know.”

“Then why are you acting like it does?”

He shrugged his shoulders and stared down at his empty mug. 

“Hurting people when they’ve hurt you may seem like the best option sometimes. You know it’s not.” She picked up his mug and brought it to the sink. 

“I wasn’t trying to…” he said looking up at her. He trailed off when he saw the look she gave him over her shoulder. He glanced reluctantly over at Emma. “Sorry, mom.”

“It’s okay,” she offered, trying another smile. 

“I just made Henry some hot chocolate. Would you like me to make some more?”

“No. I’m okay. Thank you though.”

“Of course.” she asked, drying her hands on a dish towel. 

Both stared down at the counter and Regina sighed. “It helps if you actually talk to each other.”

They shrugged in unison and Regina rolled her eyes. “Children the both of you.” Their heads shot up in affront and she nearly laughed.

“Emma, I told Henry that you were afraid.” Emma nodded. “And that I didn’t regret my time there.” 

“You don’t?” Emma asked, surprised.

“I don’t. I was surrounded by people that loved me. There was no great catastrophe to worry about. I didn’t have to see Robin with his wife. It gave me time to heal.”

“Oh.”

“It doesn’t make what you did right,” Regina said.

“No, of course not,” Emma said. “Just because some good came out of it doesn’t mean it wasn’t wrong.”

“Why did you do it then?” Henry asked. 

Emma let her head fall. “Your mother is right. I was afraid.” 

“Why?

“I messed up her life big time right before all of this. I kept making up excuses in my head. It just seemed like the perfect solution. I wanted a break from dealing with everything and people kept saying it would be like a break for her, too. I latched on to that idea and just ran with it. I didn’t think about how it affected your mom being in another world.”

“What about me? You knew I missed her.”

“I know you did. But just like with going back to New York, I thought I was keeping you from being hurt.” He glared. “I know she wouldn't have hurt you, but I didn’t know what would happen between us. I didn’t want you in the middle. I’m sorry.” Her head dropped. “I know a lot of it was just me being selfish.”

“Am I supposed to forgive you just because you said you were sorry?”

Emma shook her head. “No.”

“You knew she needed me.” 

“I know. How do I make this better?”

“Maybe another time travel adventure?” Henry said with an eye roll.

“Henry,” Regina warned.

He turned on her. “Is that supposed to be good enough? Is it really for you?”

“An apology is better than just a justification. She’s taking ownership, admitting she was selfish and that her actions were wrong. She can’t change what she did. What more do you want from her?”

He looked down. “I want a better reason.”

“Fear is a good reason, Henry. People do things you would never expect of them when they are afraid.”

“She didn’t have to be afraid of you.”

“Maybe she did.”

“You wouldn’t have hurt her.”

“I wouldn’t have, but she didn’t know that. I went to a dark place when I lost Robin. She was right to be worried.”

“But she wasn’t worried you would hurt her. She was worried she’d have to own up to what she did to you.”

“Maybe, but right now she’s doing it. Owning up to her mistakes. In front of you. Henry, she’s trying to make this right.”

“Then why haven’t you forgiven her?”

Regina sighed. “Because I’m still hurt. I expected her to be better. I expected her to act like the Savior and not like a human being.”

“I’m hurt, too,” he said, ducking his head down and she moved to him and took him into her arms. He curled into her. 

She looked down at his head. “I know, but Emma makes mistakes just like everyone else. She’s at least trying to make it right. She wants to fix what she did.”

“I’ll do whatever it takes,” Emma said, watching them. “I should have believed in your mom.”

Henry peered out from under his mother’s arm. “You should have.” He reached out an arm. “You’ll do better?”

She nodded and he waved his arm. She swallowed back a sob and joined the hug,


	8. Chapter 8

The morning had just begun and Regina had just settled behind her desk with a fresh cup of coffee when she heard Leanne’s raised voice. She didn’t have any appointments and her secretary knew she didn’t want any guests. Last night had been a rollercoaster of emotions and she’d told her emergencies only. 

Taking pity on the harassed woman, she opened her office door to find Snow White and the baby Prince outside her door. Both women turned to stare at her. 

“I told her that you didn’t want her assistance today,” Leanne said, standing tall beside the door and Regina appreciated the loyalty even if she knew it probably had more to do with sticking it to a entitled royal than any real loyalty to her.

“And I told her, I didn’t care,” Snow snapped back. “You can’t keep me away forever.”

“Do you want to see me try?” Regina asked, with a raised eyebrow. 

“You can try, but,” she started to say, but a cry from the stroller interrupted her and all eyes turned to the disgruntled Prince. When Regina looked up, the triumphant gleam in Snow’s eye almost made her shut the door in her face. 

The standoff only lasted a moment after that and Regina hated giving Snow the satisfaction, but finally she held the door open with a heavy sigh. Snow smiled happily as she strolled in, looking back with a smirk at Leanne who just rolled her eyes.

Snow parked the stroller right next to her desk and picked up Neal with a coo that had Regina looking off. She glanced at the stroller with suspicion before turning back to Snow. The woman grinned even bigger, but it was interrupted by a yawn. Regina stood helpless as Snow thrust the small boy into her arms. 

“I’m tired. I’m going to take a nap,” she said and proceeded to flop down on the couch in front of the fireplace. 

Regina watched her in shock, holding the small boy. “You aren’t bored. You want a babysitter,” Regina said in alarm.

“Shh. It’s our secret,” Snow murmured, already sounding like she was drifting off.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she said, bouncing Neal.

“Would you rather we have a heart to heart?” Snow asked, cracking an eye to look up at her step-mother. Regina looked down at Neal with wide eyes instead of responding. “That’s what I thought. I’ll help you after I sleep a bit. You don’t have any meetings this morning do you?”

“No.”

“Then it’s settled.”

Regina grumbled under her breath and felt Neal squirm in her arms. 

“I guess it’s just you and me little one,” she said to the round faced bundle. He was just getting old enough to smile and she thought she saw one starting to peek on his face. 

In the other world, she had been regaled with stories about Neal’s innate love for her, but it had been hard to believe when she only had Henry’s early days of fussing in her memory. Now that she had him in her arms, she could feel his ease with her and understood what they meant when they called her the baby whisperer. 

Even though he’d been fussing at the door, he looked ready to sleep now that he was pressed against her. She rocked him for a few minutes as she walked around her office. When she’d first gotten Henry, she’d been a nervous wreck. There hadn’t been much opportunity in her life as Evil Queen to be around babies.

During a particularly manic part of her reign, she’d thought about bringing children into her castle. An infant seemed like too much work while she went about the business of running the kingdom and hunting for Snow White. She’d offered the world to Hansel and Gretel only to have them spit in her face. After that, she’d given up until Henry and even he seemed to sense the turmoil inside of her if his cries were anything to go by. 

She popped out the seat from the stroller and placed it at her feet and gently rocked him until he fell into the same slumber as his mother. Showing up at her office for babysitting was presumptuous as hell, but the sounds of her sleeping guests actually made her feel less alone as she turned back to her work and she found she liked that.

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

IN A DIFFERENT WORLD…

 

Going to work the next day turned out to be more eyeopening and exciting than she anticipated. Snow White showed up with coffee and an apple tart for her as Leanne rolled her eyes and muttered under her breath. Regina appreciated the gesture. 

She’d been avoiding Granny’s and the obvious complications of meeting the townspeople’s future selves. She’d never admit it, but she missed the pastries. They were freshly baked unlike their lasagna. It felt like ages since she’d been able to cook. The last thing she remember had been that apple pie for the seance and no one had gotten a chance to eat it.

They settled in. Snow looking over the more current paperwork as Regina tried to catch up with where the town was now. Her office had been her place of power and it felt strange to have it invaded so surreptitiously, but also oddly calming. She understood why they thought going back to work would be a good distraction. There were years worth of new laws and initiatives they’d implemented since Neverland to study and she studied every nuance.

This peaceful town fascinated her and for a moment she hoped she’d be able to stay a little longer just to figure out all of its secrets. She could use some of it even with the new group of residents from the Enchanted Forest to worry about. The other Regina had things well in hand with the town and Regina had a feeling if she stayed here much longer, she’d be going home to an already changed Storybrooke. If, of course, they trusted the other woman. 

The changes to the town engrossed her whole morning and before she knew it, Emma appeared with takeout. Thankfully, the Sheriff thought to call ahead and ask what she wanted even though she probably already knew her lunchtime preferences. She guessed it was more to do with Snow White being in her office than any concern for how she would feel if she showed up with a lunch she didn’t order, but this Emma seemed to know her quirks as evidenced by the day before and well everything else. 

The forced normalcy seemed to help Emma as well as she unloaded their food and she was glad she’d allowed it.

How they ever got to this… domesticity she didn’t know. It perplexed her and yet intrigued her. She assumed peace must kill part of the brain, but it seemed more hard earned than that. It had to have been hard earned. Nothing else made sense even with the peace and yet she knew it made some kind of odd sense.

She found herself enticed by it, but at the same time she knew it wasn’t hers. The Evil Queen in her wanted to grasp at it and steal it for herself. The compulsion made her feel sick. She fought her dark impulses, but they were always there whispering at her to take, take, take. 

The woman that allowed those impulses to drive her had died and she wouldn’t let her be reborn again in heartbreak. It had cost her too much the first time.

As she studied the Savior unpacking their lunch, she thought about her Emma and for the first time allowed herself to wonder. 

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

The Charming pair were still sleeping when lunch rolled around. Neal had woken after an hour or so and Snow had sleepily pointed out the milk in the stroller. She had heated it in the staff room and fed him at her desk like she used to do with Henry. He fell right back to sleep after she burped him and she got back to work. 

As she glanced at the clock, she felt her own stomach rumble. Snow seemed blissed out on her couch. It would have been oh so easy to just give her a little nudge right off the couch, but she remembered the days of little sleep all too well so she held her hand. 

She had already sent Leanne to her own lunch and was just about to order in, when she heard a timid knock on her door. Before she could get up to answer it, Emma stuck her head in with a timid smile.

“Leanne…”

She held her finger to her lips and looked over at the couch where Snow slept. Emma snorted and shook her head before quietly entering.

“If I knew that helping out at the Mayor’s office meant sleeping on your couch, I would have gladly been your assistant instead of Sheriff,” Emma whispered, looking down at her mother. 

Regina shooed her over to the other side of the room where Emma pulled two root beers from behind her back and a brown paper bag.

“Kale salad,” Emma said.

“And something for you?” Regina asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I was getting my own lunch and Ruby said you hadn’t been by.”

“Thank you.”

Emma shook her head. “There’s no need to thank me. I’m here to thank you for yesterday. You didn’t have to help me with Henry.”

“Yes. I did.” Regina sighed. “You would have done the same for me.”

Emma frowned. “I haven’t in the past.”

“No, you haven’t,” Regina said, quietly. “But you’ve changed.”

“I hope so. After everything that happened…” Emma ran her hand through her hair. “It just feels like I don’t even recognize myself.” She sighed. “I’m so sorry for what I did to you.”

“Now isn’t the time.”

“Sorry. Yeah. I’m pushing again. I know. Anyway. Thanks. Sorry. Let me just grab my sandwich,” she rambled as she rummaged in the brown bag, pulling out a foil wrapped sandwich.

Regina reached for Emma’s wrist, catching it as she held up the sandwich.

“Regina?” Emma questioned, glancing between her wrist and Regina’s face.

“It’s not the time because…” Regina shot a pointed look over at the unmoving lump on the couch. 

“Oh.” Emma looked over at her mother and back to Regina’s face. “Oh.”

Emma looked down at the sandwich in her hand and Regina’s hand on her wrist. “Do you think I should I leave it? The sandwich? She’ll be hungry when she wakes up.”

“She can get her own damned sandwich,” Regina said, letting Emma’s wrist fall. 

“Okay, then. Um. Thanks again for last night.”

Regina tilted her head in acquiescence.

“We’ll talk soon?” Emma asked, as Regina walked her to the door.

Regina nodded carefully as she opened the door.

“I suppose so. I’ve just been told the town wants to throw town wide picnic to celebrate the peace.”

“Sounds a lot better than a town wide panic.”

“I’ll suggest that as the slogan for the banner,” Regina said. “We’ll need to talk security.” 

“It’ll be a good test for Sebastian.”

“He’s capable.”

“If you say so,” Emma said with a wink, before heading out the door with a smile. Leanne shook her head at the both of them. 

Regina shut the door behind her and turned to the woman on her couch. 

“You can stop pretending now. I was your step-mother for ten years. I can tell when you are faking.”

Snow grumbled, but sat up, rubbing her eyes. “No sorry for waking me?”

“Oh please. Your inner gossip woke you as soon as it heard Emma’s voice,” Regina said. 

“More like my inner mother,” Snow groaned, stretching her arms over her head.

Regina rolled her eyes. “If that was the case, you would have woken properly to feed your baby.”

“He had you to feed him,” she said, rolling her shoulders. “This couch is so much better than that chaise in your rooms at the castle. That thing was like a rock.”

“I know. I switched the soft one that was given to me when you started hovering in my rooms.”

Snow glared as she got up to peek on the baby. She leaned over the seat and smiled down at his sleeping face. “I don’t know how you do it,” she said.

“I’ve had more practice than you,” she said, absently. She looked up at Snow. “Do you remember when I first got Henry?”

“Vaguely.”

“He wouldn’t stop crying and then I placed him in your arms. He immediately stopped.”

“Really?” Snow asked, reaching down to stroke Neal’s face. “I’m surprised you didn’t kill me on the spot.”

Regina shook her head. “You made him happy. I couldn’t even be mad.” Snow’s eyes widened for a second. “I was stressed and he was reading it off me. Relax a little. It helps.”

Snow nodded, thoughtfully. Having a child meant constant stress. It took her awhile to learn to relax. It would come with time. “It would explain why Neal always puts up a fight with Emma.”

Regina didn’t say anything in response and moved to her desk with her food. Snow leaned against her desk and said, “So about my other child…”

“What about her?” Regina asked, pulling her salad from the bag and placing it carefully on her desk. 

“What happened yesterday that you’re accepting a lunch as thank you?”

“I would say it’s none of your business, but it involves Henry,” she said, looking at her root beer “He found out yesterday about… what she did.”

Snow’s face darkened. “He didn’t take it well.”

“No. He didn’t.” Even though she didn’t need a bottle opener, she busied herself with looking for one as she explained. “He stormed out on her and came home to Mifflin. I talked to him for a little while before I had her come over so they could talk it out. He’s been having trouble trusting her since New York and his memory loss.”

“You helped her,” Snow said, leaning against the desk watching her.

“I helped him,” she replied, without looking back.

“You helped her, too.”

“An inadvertent side effect,” she said, finding the bottle opener in one of the drawers across the room.

“Sure,” Snow drawled out, without an ounce of sincerity. Regina glared as she opened the root beer.

“You look at her differently now,” Snow said, as Regina took her seat behind the desk again. “Did you… like she did with Regina?”

“If you remember correctly, I was a bit busy mourning the lost of my soulmate,” Regina snapped.

Snow hummed to herself and glanced at the salad on the desk. “But you did get close to the other Emma.”

“I lived with her,” Regina said, opening the salad.

“Oh?” Snow said, with false innocence. 

“Like you didn’t know that.”

“I expected you to kick her out of your house.”

“It was her house more than mine,” Regina replied, picking up her fork with a glare. “The other you was surprised as well.”

“Really?”

“I don’t know why that’s so shocking. She was still you,” Regina said, taking a bite.

“So, you think the other Regina and Emma are still the two of you even though they fell in love?”

“Of course they are, but they fell in love because their world was different.”

“You don’t think it could happen here?”

Regina took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. “I thought I’d gotten out of the heart to heart by letting you sleep.”

“Nope. Just a postponement.”

Regina dropped her fork with a clack. Snow watched her exhaled. 

“I did. I did think it could happen here,” Regina finally snapped, her hand uncoiling, “Is that what you want to hear? Does it help you to know that? Because it really doesn’t matter, does it? She didn’t care about me. Like you said, she developed feelings for the other Regina. Not me.”

“But you just said, she was still you.”

“No.” Regina shook her head and looked at her food. “Emma made her choice and it wasn’t me.”

“If you say so.” Snow sighed. “Do you think you will forgive her? For not choosing you?”

From the floor beside her, Neal decided to make his presence known. Snow shot her a hopeful look, but she shook her head and took a pointed bite. Snow sighed and scooped up the cranky prince. He wiggled around in her arms and she struggled for a moment to situate him properly. 

Regina sipped her root beer in amusement. It served her right, she thought as she watched. She had spent hours struggling with a fussy baby. She understood the frustration all too well. She also knew the joy.

“Last night helped,” she said, getting up and tossing the empty salad container in the trash by her bar. She nodded toward the couch and Snow sat beside her with Neal in her lap. “Henry wanted a good reason for why she did it and we talked.”

“I still can’t believe she would do something like that.”

“Really? Knowing all of Emma’s issues you don’t understand?”

“She’s never taken the easy road before,” Snow said.

“Has she ever been presented the easy road before?” Regina asked. 

“There’s always an easy road, Regina.”

“I don’t know if I believe that,” Regina said, looking at baby Neal. “There’s usually a price for taking the easy road.”

Snow nodded. 

“With the other Regina, she did nothing and someone loved her. I understand it.” 

“Because of Robin Hood?”

“That wasn’t the same.” Regina glared, but thought back to the ease of their pixie dust guarantee. “We still learned each other as short as our time was. I had my own version of her in the other world that knew me inside and out,” Regina said, looking at her hands. 

It had been attractive for sure, but it felt like a cheat. More so than pixie dust and even that had blown up in her face. “Imagine compressing all the time you spent with David learning each other into a moment without having to put in any of the effort. Never having to worry about whether or not he will be put off by something you did. He already knew you and loved you. Instant true love.”

“That sounds nice.”

“Does it really?”

“No, not really.” Snow rubbed her face. “Experiencing all of that together solidified our relationship.”

“You wouldn’t want to lose that, would you?”

“No.”

“Why would I?” Regina asked, meeting her eyes. “I just wanted to be enough. I wasn’t.”

“Regina,” Snow said 

 

Regina shook her head. “In the other world, when I went to work in the mayor’s office, you assisted and told me you learned during your maternity leave, but I don’t see how you can learn anything while sleeping.”

Some color rose on Snow’s cheeks. “I have been helping… Just usually in the afternoon after David picks up Neal.”

“And is that going to be soon? Or should we call Ruby and ask her to have someone run some food over? We have a picnic to plan.”

“I’m tired. Can’t we get the townspeople to plan their own picnic?”

“No.”

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

IN A DIFFERENT WORLD…

 

“Will you tell me about how you got together?” Regina asked, after a quiet dinner together. Henry had soccer practice and planned to grab dinner with the team. They didn’t expect him for at least another hour.

Emma shifted in her seat and looked down at her beer. “Are Neal and Henry giving you a hard time? Because it was a pain in the ass then and I’m sure it is now.”

“It doesn’t bother me as much as I thought it would,” Regina said, swirling her wine glass. “It’s piqued my interest more than anything. Tell me the story.”

“I don’t know,” Emma said, warily.

“It’d be a welcome distraction.” 

“I already told you the gist. I mean it kind of just built up until it was inevitable.”

“There was no big moment?”

“It hasn’t been really life or death here in a long time,” Emma said with a shrug. “The night it finally happened was like any other night really. We had a family dinner and I stayed over for our usual nightcap. We talked like usual, but I don’t know. I think we were ready? It took awhile for us to get there, but then… it happened.”

Regina nodded. “That makes sense, I suppose. I rushed into things with Robin while my heart was on the line. I already knew he was my soulmate because of the tattoo, but I doubt I would have moved quite as fast if my life wasn’t in danger.”

“Yeah. You are pretty impulsive, but we had to be cautious about it all. I knew I had feelings for you for awhile, but if something went wrong… Henry and well, I didn’t want to lose you as a friend even if you did share my feelings. At some point our relationship evolved and I trusted that even if it did go up in flames, I knew you’d still be there. I think it was the same for you.”

“You valued my friendship that much?”

“Of course. You understand me better than anyone else. You knew what it was like to be different and unloved. We have something special. A bond.”

Regina sipped at her wine and thought about the times with Emma where she felt the same. There were plenty of times Emma hadn’t trusted her, but usually for good reason. Archie had stung, but her mother had been devious, taking her form when the only witness was a dog. Emma hadn’t arrested her until she’d seen the deed done with her own eyes or well through the eyes of a dog, but close enough. She’d trusted her. 

Neverland had solidified that trust or at least she’d believed that until Emma had taken her aside on those steps. To think that their world could be so changed by something so simple. She’d never had to give up Henry. To feel that pain. But Neverland had still meant something. That moment in the cave, when Emma allowed her to take charge. She hadn’t been doubting Regina’s love of Henry, just trusting her gut and Emma had been right. 

“Do you disagree?” Emma asked, tilting her head.

“No. I don’t think I do. It’s just surprising.”  “Why?”

“Having a bond with the daughter of my worse enemy?”

“You made her that. She never wanted to hurt you.”

“I know.” There was a stopped firing squad after all and apparently it was Emma’s fault she nearly got turned into a bug. Her world sucked.

“It seems to be a thing now anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

“Did you guys get the new Maleficent movie? With Angelina Jolie?”

Regina raised an eyebrow. Mal would be pleased if she wasn’t dead. Charlize Theron had been suitable, but Angelina Jolie. Hmm. “No.”

“She woke Aurora with a kiss.”

Regina let out a laugh. Maybe Mal wouldn’t be pleased. “Really now? Mal may have been bisexual, but Aurora wasn’t exactly her type.”

Emma snorted. “Yeah. I know who is more her type,” Emma said, waggling her eyebrows. A blush shot up Regina’s chest and into her cheeks. 

“Damnit. Isn’t there anything I haven’t told you?” Regina grumbled. 

“Probably. We talk a lot though,” Emma said, looking away, but Regina caught the sad look.

Regina’s hand moved to reach out, but she stopped her hand. Emma wanted her alter ego. Emma looked back and noticed her hand in mid air. 

“Aww you do care,” Emma said like an ass, but Regina spotted the tears in her eyes.

“Please. You know me better than that.” Regina let her hand fall on Emma’s arm.

“You big softie,” Emma said, wiping at her eyes. “I’m sorry. You are awesome.”

“You just miss her.”

“Yeah.”

“I kind of miss the old Emma.”

“Really?”

“You’re too docile and domesticated.”

Emma laughed. “You’re an asshole.”

Regina felt an easy grin pull at her lips. “You act so surprised.”

“Oh, I’m not surprised,” Emma retaliated. “I just thought you’d take pity on me,” she said, putting on a ridiculous pouty face. 

Regina couldn’t help but let out a laugh. “How I ever saw you as a threat…”

Emma laughed with her, but then her face straightened out. “Things changed when I realized you were trying to change and weren’t a threat… then we started to work together in Neverland and after that well…”

“We never had that chance. I sent you away and then when you came back there was already a new crisis to deal with.”

“Sounds like there is always a crisis in your world.”

“It feels like it,” Regina said, looking down at her hands. 

“Do you think…”

“What?”

“It’s stupid. Ignore me.” Regina raised her eyebrow and Emma groaned. “That’s cheating.”

“Are you wondering if I think when things calm down in my world I’ll end up with you?”

Emma shrugged. “Maybe?”

Regina leaned back against the couch. “If Robin isn’t available? It’s a thought that’s crossed my mind more often since I’ve been here. I don’t know though. It’s different there. She’s with Hook.”

Emma groaned. “I’m so much better off with you though.”

“How do you know?”

“I just do.”


	9. Chapter 9

“Storybrooke First Annual Picnic: Better Than a Town Wide Panic.”

“I can’t believe she put that on the sign,” Emma said, staring up at the large banner that hung over the entry way to the picnic area where the festivities were to occur. 

Henry snorted in the loud obnoxious way teenagers had. She shot him her best, most motherly glare, but he just rolled his eyes. 

“Shouldn’t you just be glad she used your idea?” Henry asked, with a goofy smirk, “Besides, it’s true,” he replied, nudging her with his shoulder. She frowned at him, but he just grinned up at her and eventually she smiled back. She barely had to look down at all any more. When she wasn’t looking, he had started getting the gangly look of a teenager. 

She wondered if her nerdy, book-loving son was going to turn out to be one of those jocks she hated back in high school. She couldn’t really imagine it, but he had the brand new soccer ball that Regina had bought him shortly after her return tucked under an arm and seemed intent on using it. 

Before the curse broke, she’d developed this image of Regina as one of those helicopter mothers that she'd heard about. She’d been right to an extent, but looking back at the freedoms Regina had allowed Henry, she’d had to reconsider a lot of her assumptions.

Emma’d have thought Regina would be against Henry playing any kind of sports even now, but Regina seemed happy to encourage his interest and well, the woman did have inside knowledge of the future or well, one version of the future. She’d always been good at the game so she couldn’t really be unhappy about the development.

Back then it had been easy to hold on to her bias, but now it was harder to shine a critical eye on Regina’s parenting. Even now, she could still be surprised by Regina in relation to Henry. If Regina hadn’t been the Evil Queen in reality…frankly, her actions would have been extremely embarrassing. She acted the way every adoptive parent feared a birth parent would act. 

Knowing the truth about Regina justified her actions and for a minute, it was easier, but then she’d gotten a taste of being Henry’s only parent through Regina’s memories. Suddenly, everything Regina did made sense (to a degree). If someone had appeared out of the blue and tried to take him away from her, she didn’t know how she would have reacted… To be honest, she did know. It was kind of what happened. 

At the thought of having to share Henry again, she’d been ready to take him straight back to New York. She’d cloaked it in the idea that it was safer for him because who could argue that, but deep down she knew her own insecurities played a larger part in it than she wanted to admit. 

She’d used her own son as an excuse for her own selfishness. It was what the worst of her foster parents did. She wanted him safe, but the world had been easy in NY even if her dating life had consisted of a flying monkey. Basically, she’d chosen to take the money the state gave without actually taking care of the boy in her care.

Henry saw her parents before she did. They were setting up a blanket in the shade. Neal was already red-faced from the sun, stripped him down to his diaper and propped on her mother’s hip. 

Her head was full of her faults, but she threw out her blanket next to them and put on a plastic smile. She flopped onto the blanket after a cursory ‘hello’ to her parents. Henry kneeled down hugged her from behind, pressing a kiss against her head before running off to join the other kids. Her heart flip flopped and she couldn't tell if she felt guilty or just happy.

She leaned back on her hands and finally turned toward her parents with what she hoped was a convincing smile. They didn’t even seem to seem to see her and it set off a whole new set of anxieties.

Sebastian passed them and she gave him a cursory nod. She’d put him in charge of the security since she’d planned to be at the picnic the whole time if he needed her. It was a day time family event so she hoped people would stay sober and pleasant, but it was Storybrooke after all.

Her thoughts already had her wishing for alcohol so she couldn’t even blame the crowd that chose to partake. Neal grumbled and her parents alternated between trying to soothe the child and entertain her. She found herself hopelessly searching for Henry in the crowd of children in less than ten minutes and biting back a sigh.45

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

People crowded around Regina for the first hour after she arrived, asking questions and inquiring about the other Storybrooke. She answered them patiently, but eventually she spotted a familiar blonde head over the crowd. Surprisingly, they let her make excuses and she pushed passed them.

Kathryn’s eyes widened just a little when she stopped in front of her and Frederick, but she didn’t turn away. Kathryn’s lips were tight as she sent her handsome knight ahead of her with assurances.

Regina stepped forward, but hesitated. “Kathryn. Or do you prefer Abigail?”

“I think you know what I prefer,” the woman responded, coldly.

Regina looked down for a moment, before looking back up. “Kathryn, then,” she said, meeting her eye. “It is different here. You aren’t the same.” 

Kathryn inclined her head toward a bench. “Shall we sit?”

“Okay,” Regina said, wringing her hands together at her waist, but followed Kathryn to bench.

Kathryn looked her over carefully after they sat, studying her from top to bottom. Regina refused to fidget.

Eventually, Kathryn said, “The other you never talked to me.”

“I didn’t think she would,” Regina replied.

“Oh?”

“I had my own apologies to make to you. It wouldn’t have been right for her to do them for me.”

“Hmm. Interesting. I assumed that once you used me you had no interest in me.”

“We are friends in the other world,” Regina said.

“So you are here because you think we are friends?”

“No. I’m here because I received a reminder while I was over there that I owed you a long overdue apology.” 

Kathryn nodded and then raised her eyebrows in expectation. 

Regina let out a sigh before she straightened her spine. 

“I’m sorry. I put you through terrible things in order to get my revenge. I let you become collateral damage when you did nothing to harm me. I am sorry,” she said and her head fell momentarily. She lifted it again and met the other royal with steady eyes. “I don’t expect us to be friends. An apology doesn’t wipe away all the pain I caused you.”

Kathryn nodded her head as she looked away. She was quiet for a long moment. “I imagine it must be hard for you knowing the future.”

Regina shot a startled look her way. “It’s not our future.”

Kathryn met her eye. “It is in a way though, isn’t it?”

Regina frowned. “In some ways, maybe,” Regina said, looking around at the happy people milling around the park. “It’s not my place to push it one way or other.”

“Before the curse broke, I thought it would be agony seeing Mary Margaret and David, together. I nearly left the state,” Kathryn said, looking towards Robin and Marian. “It’s easier when you have someone else. Isn’t it?” she asked, glancing back at Regina.

“I don’t know what you mean,” she said, eyes moving toward where Emma, David, and Henry were kicking their ball around.

“Sure you don’t.” Kathryn said with a little laugh. She pulled herself up off the bench and smiled. “I’d best go find Frederick. Maybe we can do lunch sometime.”

“I’d like that.”

“I think I would as well,” Kathryn said, with a small smile.

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

IN A DIFFERENT WORLD…

 

At first, Regina had been reasonably wary of walking around town. She knew she would be a spectacle. Mary Margaret and Emma told her that everyone knew her business. In her world, they kept a lot from the majority of Storybrooke. Apparently in this world, they found that keeping the community informed kept them happy and less likely to fuck things up by forming a mob.

Regina wondered if it would have worked as well in her world. That town hall meeting a few weeks ago showed how quick everyone was to go against her. Maybe in a few years? She didn’t know anymore.

When she finally ventured out alone, everyone stared, her neighbors, everyone on Main Street. She’d grown used to the glares and whispers in her version of Storybrooke, but this town was full of unknowns. She didn’t know what the looks meant here. 

Her anxiety felt at an all-time high she hadn’t experience since she was a teenager even though Emma and Henry assured her that she was safe. She didn’t feel safe. Her magic lingered at her fingertips, but it didn’t feel right. She’d had some meetings with the town council and it built up her courage to face the masses, but this felt different. There was no power in walking through town.

She taken Henry up on his offer to lead her around the town and show her what was different. It hadn’t been so bad, but without him at her side she felt insecure and uncomfortable. She wished they had talked to people. Returning to her house wasn’t an option though, now that she was out on the sidewalk. It felt like weakness to turn back and she’d promised herself after killing the king that she wouldn’t let anyone have that power over her again. 

Henry had been the exception to that. She’d learned that weakness for the ones you love isn’t the same as giving people that want to control you power. Henry had opened her eyes over and over just by being a child.

She held her head up higher and let her feet lead her to Granny’s. She hadn’t necessarily meant to go there. Archie’s office wasn’t far and didn’t seem as daunting suddenly as Granny’s. She hesitated outside in the courtyard. 

Her head tilted up and she took in the sign that she'd seen over and over the last 30 years. It looked the same. She felt like it should have changed somehow in this new world. The town wasn’t the same. Why wasn't the diner changed?

Regina pushed through the door and tried to push her concerns aside. After a long awkward moment at the door, Ruby spotted her and smiled. It put her at ease in a way she couldn’t explain. She smiled back.

Seeing her smile, Ruby jumped the counter and pulled her in for a hug. She froze immediately, but awkwardly raised her hand to pat Ruby’s back. Ruby acted so pleased that she was there that it all crashed in on her all over again. She was in the wrong world. Clearly, Ruby actually legitimately thought well of her in this one. Emma had informed her of her new alliances, but it was another thing to actually see that she had friends in this world outside her family.

Over Ruby’s shoulder, Kathryn Nolan, nee Midas caught her eye with a shy smile. They’d had some cordial meetings in the Enchanted Forest during the missing year, but they never spoke and she always read a cool disinterest from the other royal. The warmth in her eyes now was startling. It felt wrong and unfair and she felt herself frown back at the other woman. Her former friend approached anyway. 

“Sorry. Probably too much,” Ruby said as Regina pulled away from her arms and Ruby took in the bewildered look on her face. “Emma tried to explain, but it’s been so long since anything too weird happened here.” She looked Regina over. “I’m starting to get it a little.”

Kathryn leaned in. “So you are from a different universe?”

“That’s the best Henry and I could figure out. It was a spell. Teenagers…”

Kathryn laughed. “I heard about it from Fred. Since the curse broke, being the gym teacher has gotten a lot more interesting.”

Regina’s eyes widened for a moment. “I can only imagine.”

Kathryn laughed. “You came up with a lot of the rules that kept the kids in line.”

“I didn’t,” Regina replied, looking away. 

They all fell silent for a moment.

“So, does you being here mean you are finally ready to see the world?” Ruby asked.

“See the world?” Regina said, without any confidence looking between Ruby and Kathryn as the latter settled herself against the bar next to her.

Ruby leaned in. “Yeah! This world. Ready to see what you’ve been missing? It’s obviously different. We should make a night of it.”

Regina opened her mouth then closed it. 

“Ruby, you should know better than to accost someone before you give them coffee,” Granny said, sliding a cup made the way she liked it toward Regina. She took it gratefully.

“Thank you,” Regina said, gratefully.

“I apologize for my granddaughter. She usually has better manners,” Granny said, swatting her with a dish towel over the counter.

“Not where I come from,” Regina replied, shifting her head slightly. 

“Hey! That was six years ago. I’ve matured,” Ruby said, standing proudly. 

Granny rolled her eyes and gave Regina a look that said she didn’t really believe that. Regina smiled at the older woman and Granny gave her a sympathetic look. They shared the secret code parent’s had. Eugenia put her at ease in a way the other women couldn’t. “Do you want something to eat with your coffee? I can whip up some apple pancakes in no time,” Granny said. 

Regina glanced around at the staring diners and shook her head. “Just the coffee today.” Granny nodded and led Ruby away. Ruby mouthed, “We’ll talk later,” as she was dragged away.

Kathryn reached out slowly, giving her plenty of time to avoid the contact, but she let the hand find her shoulder. She looked up at the woman that she’d basically sentenced to death. Her first friend since Maleficent. 

Kathryn searched her eyes and seemed to read her thoughts. Regina kept her gaze steady. She knew her feelings were all over the place, but Kathryn deserved all the honesty she could give. 

Finally, Kathryn took a deep breath. “God,” she breathed out, “You really aren’t my friend.”

“No. I’m not.”

Kathryn frowned and led her to an empty table off in the corner away from everyone. 

Her usual seat had been right against the front window. She couldn’t remember the last time she had sat there and she wasn’t sure how she felt about that. She missed the confidence she felt sitting there.

After they took their seats, Regina stared the other woman. She couldn’t help it. It was hard to imagine this woman being her friend after what she did. After the curse broke, she had barely spared her a thought. 

Kathryn seemed distracted, but Regina felt pretty sure that her staring wasn’t going unnoticed. After their last exchange, it felt like Kathryn was giving her a moment to collect herself while she pretended to look for a waitress.

When Kathryn turned back to her, she had an unreadable look on her face. She reached out for her hand, “I didn’t mean what I said…” she said, but Regina pulled away. “Regina,” she pleaded. Regina shifted in her seat as Kathryn slowly pulled her hand back. Regina pushed aside the hair falling in her face. 

“I’m not the one that made apologies to you. I am not your friend. This isn’t right.” 

Kathryn shook her head. “Regina. I know what is in your heart. The other me doesn’t yet because you haven’t talked to her, but that doesn’t matter to me. I know what’s there already.”

“You don’t know me. You know that other one,” Regina said, looking down. “She’s not me.”

Kathryn laughed. “Your eyes give you away. You look the same as the day you apologized to me. You don’t know that other Regina.”

“Kathryn. I…”

“Don’t. Save it for her. I needed to hear the great Evil Queen offering her apologies.”

“I’d still like to,” Regina said.

“Than do it to the person that needs to hear it.” She reached out and grabbed Regina’s hand, this time not giving her a chance to pull away. “How about I prove to you why you should offer your apologies?”

Regina shook her head slightly and looked away. “I don’t need a reason. Your existence is enough.”

“True enough,” Kathryn said with a grin, as she squeezed, “but, right now you need friends.”

Regina snorted. “That doesn’t matter. I…”

“Regina. You will go home to your world. Let me just show you what you could have when you go back.”

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

Regina leaned back into the bench and crossed her legs as Kathryn left. She watched the people sitting and eating. For once, she felt no resentment for any of them. 

Even the happy Hood family. 

She couldn’t see a baby bump or anything to indicate Marian was pregnant, but Robin had this new edge of protectiveness radiating off of him around his wife. Maybe he’d always been like that with his wife. She had no way of knowing. 

When he was with her, he knew she didn’t need protecting so maybe that’s why he hadn’t bothered. She didn’t know if she would have liked it had he tried. That the hadn’t endeared her to him even more. 

She lost track of time staring at the happy little family. Her head so full of thoughts of the past, present and future, the little cough next to her made her jump. She blinked up at Marian in surprise. She hadn’t even noticed her leaving to come join her.

“May I sit down?” Marian asked.

“I suppose.”

Marian sat beside her and folded her hands in the lap of her new jeans. They sat quietly for a moment as Regina absently thought about the “refugee” program her other self had implemented that had allowed the woman to buy those jeans. 

“You were staring,” Marian finally said, still looking out at the playing children. 

Regina took a deep breath and let it out in a huff. “I apologize. I was just thinking. I hope it didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

“It didn’t.” Marian shrugged. “Your eyes lack the madness I remember. You just seemed a little lost. Roland wanted to come say hello, but I thought I’d talk to you first.”

“To find out if I was still a monster?” Regina asked, turning to look fully at the other woman.

“I was wrong when I called you that,” Marian said, turning to look at her as well. 

“You weren’t,” Regina said and Marian’s brow furrowed. 

“I don’t really truly know you aren’t a monster now,” she said, studying Regina’s face. “I’ve heard a lot about you and was introduced briefly to the other you, but I never had a chance to meet the woman that captured my husband’s heart, but I look at you now and don’t see what I did.”

“What has he told you?” Regina asked, looking away.

“Everything,” she said, quietly. “At first, he thought it would be easier for me if I didn’t know the truth, but I wouldn’t have it. My sensibilities don’t need protecting.” 

Regina smiled, but it was tight and painful.

“He says you are soulmates.”

Regina sighed. “If pixie dust is to be trusted.” 

“Meh fairies…” Marian looked up at the sky thoughtfully, before tilting her head back to her. “Do you want to be with him?” she asked. “With the staring…”

Regina took a deep breath. “He made his choice.”

“Yes, but…”

“If you think he would leave his pregnant wife,” Regina interrupted, “then you don’t know your husband.”

A smile started on Marian’s face, but it twisted and turned back down. “Oh, I know my husband. Honor is important to him, but so is mine. I won’t stand in the way of his happiness. It’s not right or good. I would leave him. The best example I can set for my children is to live truthfully and to let him follow his heart just like I would want them to when the time comes.”

“I think I like you,” Regina said, narrowing her eyes and shaking her head, “But that won’t be necessary.”

“Really?” Marian asked. 

“His heart led him to you,” she said, looking down at Marian’s stomach. “I’ve torn enough families apart over the years and you’ve clearly reconnected.”

Marian’s hands pressed against her abdomen. “We have, but…”

“If I returned and you were unhappy, perhaps I would have a different opinion, but you aren’t. I appreciate the offer, but he made his choice.”

“I hope it was the right one,” Marian said with a sigh. “I still love him. Even with the years between us, he’s still the man I fell in love with.”

“I hope it was the right one as well,” she said, looking over at Emma. Henry had her in a headlock. Marian’s eyes followed hers.

“You know she reminds me of Robin.”

Regina’s head snapped toward Marian. “What?”

“The Sheriff. We talk sometimes. I think she feels responsible for me. Is she the reason you are so accepting?”

Regina stared for a moment, wondering how much of her personal life had really hit the gossip mill. “What do you mean?”

“Is she helping you? I know you had some kind of falling out, but it looks like that’s getting better,” Marian said, watching Regina’s family as Regina had watched hers.

Regina’s eyes fell to her hands. They twisted in her lap. For a long moment, she felt the impulse to lash out, but it felt so very pointless in the end. Marian turned back to her with the guilelessness she’d grown to appreciate from her allies over the last few years. 

Finally, she leaned back and said, quietly, “She’s trying. Her faith in me in the past has made it easier for me to move forward, but she lost it for a time.”

“It’s hard to trust someone when they don’t trust you. Dr. Hopper told me that.”

“Sometimes he knows what he’s talking about.”

“I think I trust you, Regina,” Marian said, softly. Regina decided she liked the way her name sounded coming from this woman. It sounded much better than monster.

“I appreciate that more than you know,” she said.

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

The picnic started to wind down and most families she passed were packing up their blankets. She had gotten sucked up back into their town’s version of politicking for most of the afternoon after her many awkward conversations with the women she’d wronged.

Henry and Emma’s soccer playing had attracted other kids Henry’s age and eventually Emma had been relegated to the sidelines. Regina glanced back at the game of soccer that was still going on and smiled. 

Soon outside teams would be visiting Storybrooke. It didn’t scare her anymore. She’d read some of the briefs from the town meetings and knew she had a battle in front of her. She expected it to be easier now that she had knowledge of the mysterious ‘future’, but she was prepared for the worst. It would be hard. The prices in town alone were enough to give anyone from the outside pause. It would require the whole town’s support. It was going to be a mess.

But she knew it would be worth it. The good it did for the town to interact with the outside world had been immeasurable. She read all about it and had seen the good. It would take a few months of stability and in the end, she’d need Emma’s backing.

Things had improved since their talk with Henry. It had given her the opportunity to hear Emma’s side of things a little without any real pressure. Emma directed everything to Henry and she hadn’t been put on the spot to respond. Emma hadn’t said anything she didn’t already guess, but it healed something inside of her to hear Emma admit her wrongs. That had happened so rarely in her life.

Forgiveness. Can you imagine? Learning to live with the unimaginable. Hamilton had really struck a chord with them all. She missed it. She sighed knowing she still had a few years before she could share it with them.

She found Emma standing by the lake. The grass around the water kept her approach quiet, but Emma seemed to sense her and turned as she got close.

“Hey,” Emma said, her posture and movements reminiscent of their first meeting. 

“Hey,” Regina responded in kind, moving to take the space beside her. 

They both watched the slow eddies of the pond in silence for a few minutes before Emma broke the silence. “This was a good idea. It was fun.”

“Depends on your definition of fun,” Regina said. “Felt like work to me.”

“Yeah. They jumped me, too.” Emma said with a smile. “I’m really not built for the all the political bullshit. You are lucky you were born a politician.”

“I wouldn’t say I was built for it. Perhaps born to it.” Regina shrugged impassively. “My mother may not have known the term, but she raised me to be a one. A politician that is. A Queen.”

“I’d like to reiterate; your mom was a real piece of work,” Emma said.

“She was,” Regina said.

Emma pursed her lips. “Henry had fun.”

“Then it was worth it.”

They smiled at each other before they both looked back out at the lake. 

“Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to grow up as a princess,” Emma said, before looking toward Regina then quickly back out to the lake. “I’m pretty sure I would have ended up as one of those awful Disney straight to DVD movies. Pretty sure Ariel’s daughter got one of those.”

Regina snorted and shook her head. “I don’t know. You stand pretty well as your own heroine. I think you’d qualify for at least a limited release special.”

“Maybe, but I am probably only worth that because of the way I was brought up. Hard as it was,” Emma’s chin hit her chest, but then she lifted her head to the sky and smiled. “Given the chance, I would have been a stuck up Princess that pranced through fields of flowers singing about a prince,” Emma said to the sky. She turned her head toward Regina. “Or a Queen.”

Regina laughed and looked her up and down. “Somehow I doubt you would have gone for all those Princess gowns,” she said, skirting around the awkwardness of Emma’s comment and bringing them to safer ground. 

“You say that looking at me now, but when I was a little girl, I dreamed of those gowns,” Emma replied, tucking her thumbs into her jeans. 

Regina let out a short breath. “They seem wonderful in all the movies, but reality is as glamorous.” She frowned and wished for something to do with her hands. Eventually she tucked them into her blazer’s pockets. 

“Did you know I was born a Princess?” 

Emma shook her head.

“She named me Regina because it means queen. I was taught from the cradle how to be queen. I was low on the line of succession, but it didn’t stop my mother from scheming. When I was young, we lost our title after a war with a neighboring land. It made my mother more determined.” She looked down at her body. “I was a fat child. She strapped me into gowns with corsets that felt like they were rearranging my insides.”

Emma grimaced. “Mary Margaret wouldn’t have done that to me.”

“Snow White,” Regina corrected. “Not Mary Margaret. Snow White. They are different people in more ways than you would expect.” Regina looked away. “Her father expected me in corsets every day. Even when he wasn’t there. Appearance mattered in that world. I helped your mother into her first corset. It was painful and not for me… She cried,” Regina said, somberly. “I almost felt sympathy for her. Almost.”

Emma looked at her in disbelief as she continued, “It was what was expected. She would have expected the same of you,” Regina said, looking sad for a second before she straightened her face back into an impassive mask. She stared out over the water, clutching her hands against her abdomen. Emma wished she could say something to make it better, but knew she didn’t have the words.

Regina continued “When I got to this world, I had all of this knowledge about how things worked, but I had so much time on my hands. I read so much and then the Internet happened in a big way.”

Emma chuckled. “I bet that was a shock.”

“It was refreshing,” she said, with a light smile. “It felt alarmingly like magic, but I liked it. It didn’t feel dark.” She let out a little laugh. “I finally had new people to play chess against.”

Emma looked up to the sky and laughed as well. “Of course, you would discover the Internet and use it for chess.”

“You may not remember the early days of the Internet, but things moved very slowly. Chess requires patience so I could tolerate the delay.”

“I mostly used the Internet at the library. It wasn’t so bad. I mean compared to now… terrible.”

Regina nodded. “It was a strange time.” She let her hands drop to her sides. “I wish I could say I thought about you much beyond as a future enemy.”

“Have nightmares of me as an evil baby attacking you?”

“Can’t say that I did, but I did see that movie with that Chucky doll before Henry was born.” She smiled at Emma. “Terrifying.”

“Seriously,” Emma said, with wide eyes. “We got a lot of scary reject dolls in the foster homes so yeah I get that. At least we don’t have to worry about murderous cursed dolls here.” Regina looked away. She’d read Henry’s book and was fairly sure Marco’s marionette parents were in Gold’s shop. Emma read her face and a horrified look took over her face. “Regina!”

“I did have a dream about you. But it was after you got here, but before you broke the curse,” Regina said. 

“I’m not going to forget the cursed doll thing,” Emma said, narrowing her eyes, “but what happened in your dream?”

“You came to my door and told me that you had come for me. My apple tree materialized in the middle of Main Street and I was tied to it. You threatened me with your father’s sword.”

“Must have surprised you after the curse broke that I wasn’t going to sacrifice you for revenge.”

Regina shrugged her shoulders ever so slightly and Emma laughed. “Come on. You didn’t expect me to save you,” Emma said.

“I didn’t,” Regina said eventually. “But Henry makes us better people.”

“True.”

They smiled at each other. Talking like this felt like how it was supposed to be and they both knew it.

“You weirded out Sebastian earlier,” Emma said, after a long moment.

Regina scowled. “I smiled at him.”

“Many people in this town would find that behavior strange,” Emma said, with a cocked eyebrow.

“Should I light him on fire the next time I see him to reassert the status quo?” Regina asked.

Emma laughed. “If you’d set him on fire then the sign would have been all wrong. You would have hated that and as much as you’d like to pretend otherwise, you like Sebastian. And, of course, as Sheriff I’d have to advise against harming law enforcement.” She shifted on her feet and she cocked an eyebrow. “Though is it technically against the law? Using magic against someone?”

“I think it would fit under assault with a deadly weapon,” Regina said, with amusement playing in her eyes as she held up her hand. “At least in Storybrooke.”

Emma blushed deeply at the idea of Regina’s hand being classified as a deadly weapon. She coughed awkwardly before saying, “Did you read up on their criminal code while over there in the other world? A few hints would be nice.”

Regina shot her a smile that would have made the Cheshire Cat proud. “I read a lot while over there.” 

“I can’t decide if that’s a good thing or a bad thing,” Emma said, studying her face with a furrowed brow.

Regina brushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “It’s a good thing. They had the time to figure things out that we haven’t been given. I refuse to believe it’s a bad thing that I got a chance to peek at their efforts.” Emma nodded, agreeably. “It won’t be easy. I’ll need your support,” Regina said. 

“Of course. Whatever you need. I’ve got your back.”

Regina nodded.

They fell into an easy silence after that. They watched the ducks and swans float peacefully around the pond. Emma felt more comfortable than she had in a long time. Peace felt nice. Strange, really, because the real world she knew wasn't peaceful. Since fairy tales invaded her life, she'd had nothing but chaos. This peace, though, felt somehow okay. She almost felt ready to deal with more stupid fairytale drama. 

She glanced over at Regina, trying to be surreptitious, but knew Regina could feel her looking. They were standing closer than Emma had realized. It felt easier between them than it had in a long time. 

When she was with the other Regina, they had an effortlessness that had been lacking with this Regina for obvious reason. Yet, right now, standing next to her Regina felt more real and right than any interaction with the other Regina ever had. She felt ready to fight with this Regina at her side. She, honestly, felt like she could take on the world. She let out a laugh at the realization and Regina finally looked over at her. 

Emma shrugged at her look. “You probably won’t believe me after everything, but I’m really happy it’s you.”

“What do you mean?” Regina asked, eyes searching hers.

“That it’s you I’m talking to right now. Not her,” Emma said. She met Regina’s eye. “She knew all these things about me and us, but there was no shared experience. She wasn’t the one that stared down Pan’s curse and chose to give me everything I ever dreamed of. She probably would have, but she didn’t know what that felt like. You…do.”

Regina’s fists clenched and Emma reached out to stop her hands, but pulled back. 

“I like learning about you from you,” she continued, “The root beer thing, for example. You like root beer. She looked at me like why don’t you know that. I wish I’d seen you order root beer or something. Having the chance to remember your order and bring it to you later would have been… wonderful. I would have loved to have you look at it and think, ‘She remembered when I ordered it at the diner.’” Regina’s eyes were studying her, but she looked away again. “I was so afraid that you and me would never get where that other future thought we should be.”

Regina’s eyes stayed on her hands, but she said, “I doubted we’d get there as well.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t even try,” Emma said.

“Your worries had basis.”

“Perhaps, but in the end, my worries outweighed whatever you were dealing with. It was horrible. It was selfish.”

“True,” Regina said, turning her head back out to the water. “I wouldn’t say horrible.”

“It was horrible.” Emma said as her head fell again, ignoring Regina’s head shake. “It was horrible. I took the easy way out. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I took away your choice and your chance to react to Marian. I took away your chance to be better. To show them you are better. You are the Regina that belongs here. You are the only one that has the right to be here. To make decisions. I don’t know what it would have been like if you never got sent away, but you should have been the one to react. I let myself get caught up.”

Regina reached out and grabbed Emma’s bicep. “Stop.” Emma turned startled eyes toward her. “Breathe.” Emma took deep breaths.

Regina didn’t release her, but shifted to give her a little space while keeping a hand on her arm. “Did you think about running when I came back?”

Emma closed her eyes. “Yes and no. I thought it would be better to leave for awhile, but Henry…” Emma felt Regina’s grip tighten on her arm.

“I wouldn’t have forgiven you if you’d left.”

Emma blinked rapidly. Her mouth opened and closed.

“Henry is everything. I told you that. I’m glad you remembered before you…” Regina said.

“Ran?”

“Yes.” Regina’s eyes fell closed. “He will always matter more than any of our problems.” Regina smiled fondly at the thought of her son. “Our love for him is true.” 

Emma smiled and looked at the hand on her arm. “It is, isn’t it?” she said. “We lucked out.”

Regina let her smile linger, but she turned her attention back out to the pond. “We did.” She let her hand fall off Emma’s arm.

They stood in silence for a long moment, both watching the water. After a bit, Emma started to rock back and forth on the soles of her feet.

“You were right to be mad at me,” Emma said, without looking at her. “What I told Henry was all true. I was wrong. Deeply and truly wrong.”

“I’m glad you understand that,” Regina said.

Emma’s head had fallen low and her chin was pressed against her chest. She let out a loud breath. “I got so wrapped in to the idea of her. It felt real. Realer than anything I’d experienced in a long time. She knew me. It felt like she really and truly knew me. I fucked up.” Emma looked over and Regina nodded her head in understanding and as a gesture to go on.

“But it would never have been real,” Emma said. “I should have known. She wasn’t you.” Her eyes darted back toward Regina. 

“It was real in its own way,” Regina said. “She wasn’t an illusion.”

“I guess, but she wasn’t part of our reality,” Emma said, with a shrug. “This is better. Our reality. Today mattered. You talking to me. Hearing that from you meant something to me. Hearing it from you. Now. Today. It mattered to me. To me. Not the other Emma. To me. I’m sure the other Emma treasured it when she told her.” She shook her head. “I was so stupid. Even if it could have been real, it was so wrong of me to do that to you.”

“It was.”

Regina reached out and grabbed her hand. Their fingers laced together. Regina squeezed her hand before letting it fall. They stood together side by side until Henry called for them.


	10. Chapter 10

IN A DIFFERENT WORLD…

 

More often than not in Regina’s normal world, McGuffins solved the day. Storybrooke had a problem? Time for a scavenger hunt. It had started to get a bit embarrassing and well, ridiculous. 

When she was the Evil Queen, she used to rush at problems like a bull. She’d grown soft with magical problem solvers appearing at every turn. She didn’t know what to do besides wait for the other world to find the damned wand and get her home. Magically, the wand in that world should work. If it existed at all. 

She didn’t like waiting, but it was surprisingly easy to adjust to this world. No big bads to interrupt the simplicity. There was a set routine. Breakfast with Emma and Henry before they ran off to their separate lives. Then she went to her office. Around noon she would have lunch with Emma and sometimes Snow. When Emma was busy, she’d sometimes go to the diner and chat with Ruby. 

Ruby, her friend.

As the days continue to pass without any change, Regina started to lose faith. She wanted to go home, but had no idea how to go about it. In the evenings, they started looking into alternatives again, but she didn’t even know where to look and Rumple didn’t either. Usually, that first McGuffin worked. 

When Gold suggested her world might not have the wand due to Emma’s time traveling, she spent the rest of the afternoon and evening in her vault raging. She returned home well after everyone was asleep and found a sweet note on the table from Emma. Her anger finally dissipated.

In the end, none of her books had anything about parallel universes. She had no answers and Gold didn’t either. She’d tried everything she could.

It eased some of the guilt of living someone else’s life. 

A couple times when Emma had the night shift, her new ‘friends’ had roped her into a girls night. She agreed to another a few days after Rumple’s comment. The girls only invited her out on the nights Emma worked. Even though she wasn’t dating or rather married to Emma, people acted like they were and subconsciously worked around their nonexistent relationship. 

Regina had to wonder if they usually invited Emma and it was a thing they all did together. She appreciated that they didn’t invite. It gave her space to somewhat escape the weird circumstance she’d found herself in and pretend she had a normal life. When Emma was there, she couldn’t pretend. The way she looked at her and spoke to her always gave away the obvious difference.

This time, Neal had somehow wrangled an invitation. Regina didn’t know how it constituted a girl’s night if a man was going to be there, but somehow she couldn’t fault his presence. 

It annoyed her that she liked him. She hadn’t gotten the chance to get to know him before he died and hadn’t wanted to but now… she knew him and it left her angry. At her sister, at herself, at Neal’s stupid choice, at the unfairness of the world. She thought about her Henry and how he would never get to know this man. Her son deserved everything good and she had come to realize Neal would have contributed to that good. It made her angry.

Being reminded of Emma’s time traveling and all that she’d lost, made the pain that had been diminishing, flare again. Robin had been easy and that was one of the best things about him. He loved her regardless of her mistakes. He had felt like a security blanket. He stood beside her and trusted her. She didn’t have to think about how she had wronged him like all of her other allies… well, up until recently.

Now, he had something he couldn’t shrug off. How he had shrugged off everything else was beyond her, but now he had his walk-through-the-fires-of-hell-for wife back. He couldn’t… Since she’d been here, Robin had haunted her thoughts, but less and less did she find herself wishing Emma was him during the quiet domestic moments they shared. She still missed him. Nearly every moment she felt out of place, she wished he was there to lay a steadying hand on her lower back.

When she looked in the mirror as she reapplied her makeup for her night out, she didn’t see the same despair she saw when she first got to this world.

The joy of this world was that no one expected her to hide her pain. Regina touched the lines around her eyes in the mirror. She actually had the chance to mourn for the first time in her life and now, she’d found herself mourning everything. Her mother, her soulmate, her son… her life. 

After Daniel, there was always someone watching her, her mother, the king, the ladies in waiting, Snow White. There were all waiting for her weakness to show. She couldn’t mourn. 

Not in that castle. 

Her father’s death had been at her own hand and she couldn't mourn him when he’d given her so much with his death.

She’d allowed herself a moment when she had thought Hook had killed her mother, but even then she hadn’t allowed herself an extended grieving time with the curse rushing toward her. When her mother had died for real, she hadn’t even known how to grieve. Vengeance had made more sense and she’d been tortured for her efforts. 

This world offered a comfort she’d never known before. She’d been alone before Henry. Always alone. There had been no comfort. Tinkerbell had seemed to care about her. She’d latched onto that care, but realized in the end the fairy didn’t understand what she really needed. Instead she’d pushed for an impossible solution to the situation that Regina had been unable to accept.

In the end, her interference had only cemented the truths Rumplestiltskin drilled in her mind and heart. Anger was all she had. She couldn’t involve her soulmate in her vendetta. She had nothing to offer that man at the bar. Her soulmate deserved better. Tinkerbell had blamed her for ruining Robin’s life, but she knew that if she had entered that tavern all she would have brought him would have been pain. She wondered absently if that is why Rumple had never involved himself in their association. It made sense.

No matter what she’d like to believe, she knew her vengeance would have outweighed any love she felt for the man. It never would have sustained Robin in the massive hunt that would have come with her disappearance. Her magic would never have saved them. They would have spent what little that remained of their life hunted. If not by Leopold than certainly by Rumplestiltskin. Knowing what she knew now, she knew he would never have let her go. 

How could she regret sparing Robin that life? Without her, he had had a son that brought him great joy. He fell in love and married a woman he loved absolutely. She may not be his soulmate, but she knew he loved her. Regina believed him when he said he would walk through hell for her.

Without her there in Storybrooke, she knew they’d reconnect and she didn’t blame him. She loved Daniel with the same depth that Robin loved Marian. Daniel may not have been her soul mate, but that didn’t make her love for him any less valid or deep. If he’d come back whole, instead of the monster that Whale had created, she was pretty sure she knew where she would have stood in the end. 

And it made her realize that if Robin walked away from Marian, in some indefinable way, it would hurt her opinion of him. It would change how she saw him and she didn’t want that. Even acknowledging that some part of her wanted him to give up that love made her feel guilty.

Regina thought back to Snow’s words from what felt like so long ago. “You feel things with your whole soul.” Right now, it felt like she was feeling a million different things all at once. It was exhausting. 

And then, there was Emma. The note she had left the other night had been tucked carefully in her dresser and it made her emotions even more confused.

At some point, she’d started wishing this Emma was the Emma from back in her world. It felt more simple. This world’s Emma knew how her mind worked, but the other one had experiences that this one didn’t. Experiences that had carved a hole in her heart and put it back together. This Emma couldn't know what a year without Henry would do to her. Her Emma knew and she knew Robin. She didn’t envy him his soulmate status (or least she didn’t think she did).

In many ways, the two Emmas were the same, but their differences in experiences made her view of them so very different. She started noticing the overlap. It started to feel more important. 

She was still angry and hurt, but somewhere along the line she had started to think that it wouldn't be too hard for her Emma to catch up to this one. It was a frightening prospect. Robin’s comfort was what she wanted, but in another way she needed Emma. She needed Emma’s subconscious understanding. She needed Emma’s experience with her. She needed Emma and it left her a little overwhelmed. 

Regina shook off her thoughts and finished getting ready. When she came down the stairs, Henry appeared out of the study. His face lit up with a smile. “You look nice,” he said. 

Sometimes, she thought his eyes were seeing his other mother when he looked at her with such love. She wasn’t used to the easiness of his love anymore. Her Henry had just gotten comfortable with her again and she was still learning to be good for him. 

She stepped forward and brushed a piece of hair off his forehead. “Thank you, Henry.” He smiled at her. “Why do you have to be so tall?” she asked, shaking her head.

“Because I’m old.” he said, smiling softly. 

She smiled back. “You still have the same heart,” she said, pressing her hand against his chest. The heart of the truest believer beat against her hand. Her protection against his heart still held strong. 

“The heart you protected,” Henry said, reading her mind and reaching to place his hand over hers.

“I did,” she said. “It was the same in my world.” She pulled her hand back reluctantly and he turned her hand and squeezed it.

He looked up at her with a cheeky smile. “You promise to be good tonight?” he asked.

She frowned at him and cocked her eyebrow as she let his hand fall, but he was all nonchalance. This Henry asked lightly, in a joking way. She rolled her eyes and let herself smile. He grinned at her. 

“Seriously?” she asked, gathering her things.

“Grownups in this town seem to find themselves in weird situations and,” he shrugged, “who knows.” 

Regina smiled. “Well, if TV is to be believed,” she said, gesturing around, “the rest of this world has its fair share of ridiculous drama.”

“TV isn’t real, Mom,” he said, with an indulgent eye roll. 

“How do you know?” she asked, raising her eyebrow, playfully.

“Actors?” he responded, raising his eyebrows.

“I heard they are doing a live action version of Cinderella. You know she is real,” Regina replied, enjoying their banter. She’d always loved challenging Henry to think around a problem. In the end, it bit her in the ass and he figured out the curse, but that mostly made her proud now.

“No.” Henry groaned. “Stop. I don’t want to think about it,” he said. “It makes my head hurt.”

“Teenagers.” She shook her head. “Thinking is so hard, Mom,” she said with an exaggerated whine.

Her son let out another groan and they both laughed. When their laughter subsided, Henry smiled at her the way he used to when he was just a little boy. It was so full of love. 

Regina put her bag down and made her way over to him. She reached out, touching his cheek. He leaned into her hand like he had before the curse and closed his eyes. It made her miss her little Prince so deeply. 

Henry opened his eyes slowly. “You shouldn’t listen to the other Henry the way you do,” Henry said, quietly. Regina frowned at him, still cradling his cheek. 

“I know you,” he said, reaching up and placing his hand over hers. “You worry too much about what I say. Don’t. Mom. I was so young back then.” 

Regina laughed. Loudly. Henry scowled against her palm.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m trying to be serious here,” he said, rolling his eyes. “I’d never admit it back then, but I was a kid.”

“You are still a kid,” she said, fondly, patting his somewhat stubbly cheek. “Even if you are taller than me.” She let her hand fall back to her side. “With facial hair.”

“Yeah, maybe, but I’m less of one now than I was then,” he said. 

“Admitting the problem is the first step,” she replied. She ruffled his hair again and he quickly moved to fix it. 

“Mom,” he whined.

“Oh, let me have this. You won’t be a kid for much longer,” she said, looking over his face with fond nostalgia. “You are barely one now”

He met her eye. “You are going back, you know.”

She smiled faintly. “I know.”

“I just wanted to be prepare you for him. I remember how I was. Everything seemed so black and white.” He looked at the floor. “It’s hard sometimes to remember what I did. To you.”

“Sadly, that’s part of growing up. Your experiences bring clarity to the past and make remembering it… hard.”

“Yeah,” he said. “I’m sorry for all of that.”

“Don’t be,” Regina said.

He shook his head. “Mom. It’s important to me that you know this. You lied to me sure, but you loved me more than you lied. I acted like all of your love didn’t matter. It did. It mattered a lot. I know where I could have ended up.” He let out a stuttering breath and she leaned toward him. He forced a smile. “It’s kind of weird that I’m getting to apologize to a you that hasn’t watched me grow up.” 

“Did you apologize to me… her before?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he said, “but I should have done it sooner. After the curse…” He looked away. “I abandoned you.” He shook his head and frowned. Tears formed in his eyes and she stepped forward. “When you needed me most. I left you. You were alone.”

“No, Henry. No,” she said, wrapping her arms around his waist. “You were a child. I was your mother. I was never your responsibility. You were mine. I sent you away, remember?”

“After I rejected you,” he said, reaching over her to wipe his face. 

She shook her head and pulled back to look at his face. “No. After I realized I was hurting you.”

“She said that, too,” he said, pressing his face against her shoulder. 

She rubbed circles on his back the way she had when he was just a small boy. Henry may have become a hulking teenager, but it still felt the same. Comforting her son was still natural to her.

“Sending you away was one of the hardest things, I… we ever had to do. We were the same in that moment. It was the right choice. I wasn’t in the right mental place to be your mother.”

He sniffled in her shoulder. “I just wish I’d helped you.”

“You did. You helped me so much.” 

He didn’t look convinced. “I wish I’d been there for you.”

“It was better you weren’t. I love you, but you are old enough now to realize that I was a mess back then,” she said. She pressed a kiss to his head, taking in the smell of his now manly shampoo. “It was better that you weren’t there. I may have wanted you there, but it wouldn’t have been good for you. I wasn’t what you needed then.”

He pressed his face against her and she heard him mumble. “I need you now.”

Regina felt her heart stutter in her chest. “You don’t need me. You need your other mother.”

He pulled back. “No,” he said, but at her critical eye he sighed. “Okay a little, but we just seemed to pretend it wasn’t a thing in this world. She dismissed it, but it still mattered. You know that right? I hurt you.”

Regina’s head fell on her grown son’s shoulder. “You did,” she said, after a long moment. His arms tightened around her and she felt a sob rack his body. “But you are allowed. You are my son. How I hurt you is not. I should have been honest with you.” She took a deep breath. “I just wanted it to be easy. I wanted you to have a normal childhood.”

“Without wondering if you were evil.”

“Among other things, but it wasn’t fair to you,” she said. Regina rested her head against his strong shoulder. “I thought she answered all your questions when you turned 17.”

“Some things are hard to talk about,” he said. “I’m glad you are here. I haven’t been able to…”

“You should talk to her about it.” 

He nodded against her shoulder. “I think I will.” His arms tightened around her again. “Thank you.”

“Any time, my little Prince,” she said, leaning back and running a hand through his hair. “Why don’t I stay home and watch a movie with you like I used to? I can’t imagine we don’t still have the Avengers in our DVD collection.” 

Before he could answer, Regina’s phone buzzed on the side table and they smiled at each other when they saw his father’s name flashing on the display. It felt so strange and yet right. The way it should have been. The way it was here.

Henry smiled. “Dad’s been looking forward to tonight.”

She looked at her phone and back to him. “You know you are more important than your thief of a father.” 

“Well, duh, but he doesn’t like, you know, exist in your world,” he said, “You should hang out with him. For Little Henry.” He smiled. “And you actually like him. I can tell.” He nudged her. “Go have fun. I have a study date, anyway,” he said, grinning. He touched her arm. “Rain check though?”

“Of course,” she said, patting his hand before picking up her phone. 

After she hung up with his father, she looked him and asked the question she had feared from the moment she discovered Neal was still alive, “Will he blame me?” Her eyes darted to her phone and Henry understood.

Henry bit his lip. “I’ve wondered about that. I can barely imagine a world without my dad now. It’s weird.” He leaned back on the end table. “I think it depends on how Little Henry hears. We don't know what other you told him. Just be honest with him, but be careful, because he might blame Ma.”

“I don’t want him to see her as the villain. There are no villains in our story any more,” she said, thinking about her Emma. “Just humans that make mistakes.”

“He’ll get that eventually. I did. When I was that age, I was just starting to see the bigger picture, but I didn’t really get it. Ma had started to lose her Savior shine, but I was mostly angry about it. I can’t imagine having fake memories, but I hope they made him see Ma as a human instead of just as a hero. It’s hard on her being the Savior all the time.”

“Those memories did affect him. Little Henry as you call him is different than you. He’s a different boy than you. He lost a life. He lost two lives, honestly. He lost Storybrooke and he lost the life in New York he made. He got Storybrooke back but it has a gap. His father.” She let her head fall. “I was there at the funeral and I couldn’t even hold you.”

“I’m sorry.”

She shook her head. “We shared true love’s kiss in the end. We saved the day.”

“We do that. You and me and Emma.”

“We do.”

Her phone buzzed again and Neal’s face flashed on her phone.

“I love you. So much,” Regina said. 

“I love you, too, Mom,” he said, winding an arm around her waist. “Now. go have fun with my father and my lovely aunts. I expect fun stories I can use as blackmail. Mom doesn’t tell me anything.”

“Probably for good reason.”

“You don’t necessarily have those same good reasons,” he said, with a wink.

She laughed. “I’ll try, my little prince. Be good,” she said.

“For you,” he said, winking as she opened the front door.

She glanced back. “You better.”

The ever disheveled Neal Cassidy waited on the sidewalk with the passenger door of his car held open for her. 

“Don’t you want to see your son?” she asked. 

“I have forever with him. You are a rarity. Also, he has a date to get ready for,” he said, helping her into the passenger seat of his car. She shook her head, but allowed him to shut her door. In no world could she imagine Hook doing the same. In no world, could she imagine liking him as much as she found she liked Neal. He escaped her fate. He fucked up along the way, but he got away. 

He climbed into the seat beside her and directed his boyish smile at her. Suddenly. she was crying. Deep, deep sobs shook her body and try as she may she couldn’t stop herself.

“Regina?” Neal asked, as he reached for her. She fell into his arms in a way she never would have ever imagined. 

As she breathed him in, she realized she trusted him and it made her cry even harder. She never wanted to share Henry, but this man… he made horrible choices but she had as well. She understood him and yet she liked him. Her world really was the world without happy endings.

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

“Soooo…” Ruby said, dragging out the word to catch the Sheriff’s attention. When the woman in question’s fingers hesitated, she continued, “You’ve been buying a lot of root beer and salads lately.” She tapped her lip thoughtfully. “Around lunch time.”

Emma’s eyes darted from her phone up to the waitress. “Maybe I’m just trying to eat healthier,” she said, glancing back to finish what she was doing on her phone.

“That would be a bit more believable if you didn’t get your usual as well,” Ruby said, as she fake coughed ‘Regina’. 

Emma glared, tossing her phone onto the counter. “Don’t start.”

Ruby put her hand on her hip and looked down at Emma incredulously. “A salad doesn’t save a grilled cheese.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Emma sighed. “So what? They’re for Regina. Big deal.”

Ruby smiled. “Is there finally something going on between you? For real?” she asked, searching Emma’s face. Her friendship with Regina was still new and tenuous so she didn’t get the dirt.

“No,” Emma said, shaking her head. “We are just friends.” She had resigned herself to it. Even with the strides they’d made to repair what had been broken it wasn’t fair or right to keep pressing for more after what she did. Maybe in time things would change, but she wasn’t focusing on it anymore. She just wanted to have Regina back. “It’s good, Ruby.”

Ruby pouted. 

“Maybe in your world this would have ended with true love and a happily ever after, but somehow I doubt it. The two of us… we are too stubborn and too fucked up.”

“Few stories ended happily ever after in that world, you know,” Ruby said, leaning on the counter. “Humans are in general are too stubborn for their own good.”

Emma laughed. “Regina and I are special.”  
Ruby snorted. “Everyone thinks they are special,” she replied. “The Evil Queen and the Savior though. You might have a point. It could have been a nice subversive story for Disney to take on,” Ruby said. She looked Emma dead in the eye. “You know you really fucked up an epic story there,” Ruby said.

Emma tossed her head back. “Don’t you think I know that?” Emma said. She picked up her phone and her hands fidgeted against it. “I never thought it would turn out this way.” She looked down at her phone with a frown. “I just wish… I don’t know.”

“Don’t wish,” Ruby said, with a sigh as she grabbed a rag to wipe down the tables. “Win her back. I like you both,” she said as she wiped the counter. 

A steady clack of a familiar set of heels on the the concrete sidewalk outside the diner had her head lifting. “Emma,” she said, softly. 

“What?”

“Regina is coming.”

“What?”

“Were you meeting her here?” Ruby asked, tossing the rag onto the counter with a smile as the bell dinged.

Regina pushed through the diner door and lifted her hand in greeting. Emma and Ruby waved back awkwardly. Emma shot Ruby a wide eyed look after Regina simply smiled at them and settled herself in a booth against the window. 

Ruby sighed at Emma’s face. “I take that as a no.”

“She didn’t come over,” Emma said, pushing her empty mug forward.

“So?” Ruby rolled her eyes. “Go say hello.”

“No, Ruby,” she said, shaking her head. “She clearly wants her space.” She looked down. “She deserves it. Don’t you think?”

Ruby shrugged. “Well, yeah, but you could go over and say hi. That’s not too much.”

“She didn’t say hi to me,” Emma said. Things had been going so well between them. She respected Regina’s choice to not approach. Baby steps. They had lunch most days, but they still needed time. “I respect her wishes,” she said, pushing off the stool she’d been lounging on well beyond what her break really allowed. “I’m done pushing my own agenda on her. I’m heading back to the station.”

Regina glanced her way as she headed out and Emma gave another little wave. Regina smiled slightly and lifted her hand politely before turning back to back to the menu she’d had 28 years to memorize. Emma gave Ruby a significant look before shaking her head and heading out of the diner. She had a job to do.

Ruby tilted her head up to the ceiling and just barely held back a groan before straightening herself out and putting on a smile. At least now, she had another person to grill and the other version of herself had done a nice job of softening the Queen up for her.

Shoulder’s squared, she marched over to the Queen’s table. Ruby tilted her hip against the table. “She’s been bringing you lunch,” Ruby said, staring her down. 

Regina looked up. “So?”

“And you don’t even say hello to her?”

“I waved,” Regina said, looking back down at the menu. 

“Regina,” Ruby said, gently chiding.

“Ruby,” Regina replied evenly, without looking up. 

As much as Ruby wanted a fairy tale ending to her friend’s story, she wouldn’t push too much. There were wrongs committed by every side of the equation. Emma’s just happened to be the most recent. 

But, still she believed in forgiveness. 

Snow had forgiven her instantaneously for her crimes. Ruby knew there wasn’t a comparison between what they had done, but that forgiveness saved her.

“I’m just saying.”

“I know what you are saying, but you have your pace and I have mine.”

“Please don’t let it be 30 years before you forgive her.”

Regina glared up at her. “Funny.”

“Just saying. You hold grudges like no one else I know.”

Regina snorted, but looked sad. “You’d be surprised how much having a support system helps.” Her hands clenched against the table.

Ruby bit her lip. “How do you live with the guilt?”

“One day at a time,” she said, looking out the window. “I make amends where I can and do my best to be better to make up for….everything.” Regina breathed out a long sigh. “The key is to forgive yourself in the process.” She let her shoulders fall. “It’s not easy,” she said. “I’m still trying.”

“Yeah,” Ruby said. “Well, you seem to be doing pretty well.”

Regina snorted. “That’s up to interpretation.”

Ruby smiled weakly. Her eyes drifted toward the menu in Regina’s hands. “I’m sorry. I just… What can I get for you?”

“I think I am just going to go with coffee,” Regina said, handing over her menu. 

Ruby nodded. “Coming right up,” Ruby said, stepping back. Regina stood and reached for her friend’s arm, grasping Ruby’s bicep. 

“It may seem strange still. It still feels strange to me, but you can talk to me,” Regina said, squeezing Ruby’s arm before releasing it. “I didn’t mind, talking to you about this. I don’t mind.” Ruby smiled faintly. “I can be a support system for you.”

“Yeah?” Ruby asked, ducking her head in a shy way that was unfamiliar to Regina. Ruby glanced back up. “Let me get that for you.” Regina nodded and let her go. 

She moved to her spot at the counter that so many years ago she had declared as hers. Since Henry had come into her life, she rarely sat there anymore. It usually remained empty even without her occupying it. 

Ruby had just placed a cup in front of her when the bell over the door rang again and Hook stumbled in. He fell into a corner booth and the only other waitress on the floor shot Ruby a dirty look as she approached him. 

“Forgiveness certainly seems easier for some people.”

Regina turned and found Hook glaring daggers at her as he took a pull from his flask as he gave a snide answer to the waitress. She met his gaze evenly. His scowl darkened as she leaned against the diner counter. He got up and pushed passed the waitress. 

“Some people don’t think they have anything that needs to be forgiven,” Regina said, watching him stumble a bit as he hit the street.

“Why is he even still here?” Ruby asked, watching his trajectory as well.

Regina turned back to her. “Where would he go?”

Ruby shrugged. “Away from here?”

“He doesn’t have his boat anymore or any magic beans.”

“I know, but ugh,” Ruby groaned. She shook her rag futilely. “He’s been shacking up with all sorts of women to make Emma jealous. If he tries to get me drunk one more time, I swear to god. I’ve had to call Emma to come get him almost every day this week. Which really sucks because I think that’s half his goal.”

Regina frowned. She’d heard about Hook’s antics in the other world, but without his ship to escape on, he could only spiral. She didn’t like the chances he’d remain drunk and docile for long. He couldn't take Rumple in a land with magic, but she wouldn’t put it past him to try.

He wouldn’t listen to her, especially now. Maybe before she could have gotten through to him. A man like him without a reason for redemption felt ominous. He felt like a snake hiding in the grass, biding his time. She half believed he’d go after her or Emma in some way instead of Rumple. It felt like he’d traded his obsession against the Dark One for one on the Savior. It set her nerves on edge. He had nothing to lose. 

“A man needs a better reason to change than a woman,” Leroy grumbled from his cowed place at the bar. She tilted her head toward him. “Or so I’m told anyway.”

Leroy in the other world had been nearly unrecognizable. With his brothers back and peace, he’d turned his life around. This one she recognized in more ways than one.

“Are you offering to help him?” Ruby asked, heading back behind the counter.

Leroy snorted. “Hell no. Pretty boy like him? Always thinking he’s the leader? I don’t need that. I’ve got my brothers and the Charmings. They’re enough drama for me.”

“And Nova?” Ruby said, with a wink.

Leroy frowned. But he looked at Regina. “Maybe some day?” 

Regina gave him a tight smile. “Maybe.”

He nodded his head as if to say that was good enough for him.

“What about his crew?” Regina asked.

“Smee’s an okay guy and I think he misses having someone to boss him around. The rest of his crew seems pretty disgusted with him,” Leroy said. “They talk at the Rabbit. I think if he tried instead of acting like a fool, they’d come around. They’ve carried him home instead of calling the Sheriff a few times.”

“That’s nice of them,” Regina said.

“Now that Sebastian’s been hired, at least she’ll have someone to pass him off on,” Ruby said.

Leroy shook his head. “Emma thinks of him as her problem. You know how she gets,” Leroy said. “It’s how she was with this one,” he said, pointing his thumb at Regina.

“I doubt a mob is going to go after him,” Regina said and Leroy actually smiled at her.

“I wouldn’t count a mob out yet,” he said, looking rather menacing, “While you were gone, the fishermen nearly tossed him into the harbor. He kept stealing their boats. He was lucky to escape with just a black eye.” He snorted into his drink. “He tried to take the Sheriff out on a stolen boat for a date. The Sheriff on a stolen boat!” He shook his head. “You’d think she’d know better than to get into bed with a pirate. Nothing romantic about a pirate.”

Ruby shrugged. “Eh, she grew up on Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean and Jack Sparrow. She doesn’t know the havoc pirates cause seaside towns,” Ruby said, wiping down the counter. 

“Well, we all know what he got up to during our year in the Enchanted Forest,” he said with a sneer. “He’s a menace.”

“Emma doesn’t know what he did.” Ruby said. “She wasn’t there.” Leroy shook his head grumpily.

Regina listened with mild interest as Leroy spun the tale of the time Hook had nearly been tossed into the sea. He’d been on his ship nearby and witnessed the whole thing. After that he filled her in on some of the other things she’d missed. 

It had only been six weeks, but she had missed out on all the good gossip and surprisingly Leroy was happy to supply. Sidney used to be her source for most of going ons in town and it was refreshing to actually be told by someone unattached. Leroy actually wanted to tell her. Talk to her even. It was nice. Strange, but nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is more focused on Emma and Regina together. Promise :)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm acautionarytale over on Tumblr


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